[Well. He's in luck because he'll find her at the shrine again in the same spot. The fox is running around collecting things and checking over the area. Miraculously, no one else is around and as she hears Sasuke's footsteps she looks up.]
Welcome back, Sasuke-san. [It's the same gentle and curious tone. She doesn't beckon him closer but seems to wait for him to make that choice. ] We can go somewhere else if you want.
Sasuke. [The -san is formal which he, strangely, doesn't feel as if it's deserved, no matter how close dropping it makes it seem to some people.] Here is fine.
[His eye trails up after the fox doing its fox thing.]
Sasuke, then. [She can respect his wishes at least. She knew this conversation was a long time coming, but she feels she may not be able to navigate it as well as she'd like. She'll try though. ]
Your brother spoke to me once during his time here. Just the once though.
[His brows furrow, though not exactly in anger or irritation. He looks further away than the fox, than even the shrine. The thin line of his lips are worried between his teeth almost as if he's deciding if he even wants to ask, to know.]
I... want to know why he chose you, and... I want to know why he killed her.
...two very different questions. [But after all this time, he deserves to know.] You're positive? No going back once we start this conversation. Which answer do you want first?
When Itachi came to me, he told me that choosing me had been a mistake. He said that being recognized by someone with my name in the dream had felt good, and he had accepted for that reason. But when he got here, he realized he was mistaken, and that he wouldn't be able to follow my ideal. He said he'd done a lot of things for love, but they weren't good.
...our rules say I can't tell you absolutely everything, but I think it was because he knew she was already dead. An easy kill so that he could defect from me to another god and start culling the numbers early. That's what he implied, anyway.
[...ugh this is such a bad, unfair job, but...he deserves to know.] Sasuke. ...you don't have to tell me, but can I ask what you and Itachi spoke about when you both arrived here?
[His face breaks a little. Things don’t add up still, and it’s only the him now that can see it. Itachi killed a girl already dead—just to start culling the numbers? Julius felt guilt... but it wasn’t for him in the way of the past. It was guilt here too.
Itachi had maybe planned... to again become the monster, just so he would fight against it.
He inhales deeply, but doesn’t exhale. He squeezes his eye shut and balls his fists at his sides.] Niisan... [A strained whisper.] I shouldn’t... have told him... he would die by my hands. [He doesn’t know if it would have changed Itachi’s intent. Maybe.]
I... was a fool. The... time I got with him, I wasted... Telling him he was going to die.
[Well. Itachi did say some concerning things, and she's not sure if this is going to help, but.]
...Itachi was determined to win solely so that you wouldn't. But it was with selfish intent. It doesn't excuse what he did, no matter what was said to him. [...] Would you still change that even if you could?
Heh... [The laugh is ghostly and hollow, wry. The half curl of his lips is just as wry, not reaching his eye.] He would, wouldn’t he... Thinking I wouldn’t change my mind... He’s... such a liar.
He did it... for love anyway.
[Slowly, he looks up, his hands finally uncurling.] No... It wouldn’t matter. Our destinies... [He frowns and glances away.] No matter where, we’ll always be at odds, I think.
[It's hard to grapple with, isn't it?] ...one of the things that Itachi asked of me before he left was that if you ever came to speak to me on your own, I wouldn't associate you with him. I think I can understand why.
You're very different people with very different goals. But unlike Itachi who wanted to rise from ruins, you seem like someone who wants justice to prevail despite the costs.
[His face says what he doesn’t. Soft and pinched, very called out.] Itachi... carried the burden those who were supposed to protect us were too cowardly to take on themselves. They made him a criminal, their scapegoat. And he accepted because...
...because he loved our village more than our clan’s honor.
I don’t care what it takes... I want our village... to be different. I want there to be peace without someone innocent suffering for it.
[She's still not 100% convinced Itachi would have been a good person, but it puts some things into perspective, at least. Sasuke's expression says enough, and her tone's gentle again as she speaks.]
…the world I want to create is one where people can see the truth and it's not hidden away to hurt other people, or themselves. I want people to be able to feel love no matter what, knowing that they don't have to hide who they are and being able to find at least one person who will accept them. It's when we carry our burdens ourselves that we turn into monsters, whether we mean to or not.
Not that Itachi was a monster, but you know what I mean. I think a world of peace where people don't have to suffer in silence is the most ideal. And where lies aren't hidden for very long before the truth comes out, and before they can hurt someone else.
It's maybe idealistic, but I think it's possible anyway. And I think what you want to accomplish is equally possible.
[STOP ITACHI WAS A GREAT PERSON SASUKE IS #1 ITACHI STAN NOW
The description really does cause his face to break at the edges. The hard line of his jaw, his one reliance on keeping it together. It isn't that the world sounds like a place he'd desperately want--it is, in a small essence--but that... it is very much a world he can see Itachi wanting.
It's a world... Naruto would also want, he thinks.]
I won't delude myself into believing any world will be perfect. [Only now does he realize... his world wouldn't have been perfect either.] I'm still going to stand with Justice at the end. I made a promise, and he shouldn't be alone.
But if we wanted... to help you make a world with a little of all of you in it. How do we accomplish that?
[Yikesyikesyikes. She holds her ground because Sasuke deserves to know, frankly, but she's patient as he decides what he wants to ask.]
You're smart that way. [She's started to realize no matter what the world won't be perfect, but they can give it their best shot.] And I can admire someone who keeps promises. If we wanted to make a world where all of our ideas were combined…? We'd have to work together.
The problem with our pantheon is that so many of us thought only our ideas were right and wouldn't listen to each other about how to incorporate other ideas. I think…since this game's started, a lot of us have learned to work together better. But there's still a lot we need to decide. To accomplish a world like what you're suggesting, we'd need a winner who would actually be willing to compromise and listen instead of focusing on only themselves. Someone who would at least try.
[His brows furrow. The serious scowling has started not being so bad on the eye.]
I want Justice to win. I think he’s best suited... Being young, being so willing to try, to listen. The problem is, he’s... naive because of it. I’m... afraid some of the others will take advtanage of it, like how they bullied him into splitting you all evenly. [He looks up slowly, and then he looks to the fox, away again. Distantly.] He’s young enough to not be set in traditions... ones perpetrated over and over.
You have a lot on your side, though. If Yu can convince enough people to join you...
The other thing to consider, Sasuke, is that this game is changing us. I worry about some of the others taking advantage of him, too, but likewise I worry about him taking advantage of some of you because of his age and naivety.
[…] There was a man I knew once in my old life. No one suspected a thing because he was meek and clumsy and kind of one of the worst detectives ever. As it turned out, because he was playing the long game he was a serial killer who was responsible for a string of murders and murder attempts in my home. In Inaba. [In this place, where they are.] If you really think he's best suited, I'll support your choice, but I wanted you to understand why I have my own reservations even though I think he's a very sweet kid.
I only have one more than Justice. I'm worried Yu-senpai will actually hurt more than help with the way he's going about this. And I can tell you this. Justice has had members come and go multiple times, but I've never gained any. I've lost, but it's because they're people who were hit with a power, or people who were killed. The people who've joined me are those who aligned with me originally.
The only one who can convince people is me. And that's what I'll do. [There's a pause as she thinks.] …it's a new world. Who's to say we won't create new traditions of our own?
I don't care if you create new traditions. As long as they're good traditions. Ones that don't harm innocent people for the sake of following them. One that don't cause war and hatred.
[He finds himself looking back to Love again. He can see... why Itachi would choose her. Why, even if Itachi defected so many times as he did, Itachi would still be loyal anyway. More than likely.
Everything else... He'd only be arguing endlessly over a difference of opinion, so:]
You said Yu might hurt more than help. [He can't say Yu is terribly rash except, apparently, when very angry about the suffering of others, but...] Tell me what I can do to change that.
Despite how this game's going I'm pretty sure none of us actively want to hurt people, tradition or no. Most of us come from worlds where we wanted to change injustices. [But she can see why Sasuke would bring it up anyway.
At the mention of Yu though...she sighs softly.]
He needs to practice some more self-preservation. [...] I don't know if you've heard, but...we know each other. You know, from the old life. I'm worried about that being used against him if he tells the wrong person.
He did seem more familiar with this wing than anyone else. Tch... That damn idiot. [He's going to knock those stupid glasses off Yu's face.] He wanted to apologize to Goro and the rest, too. I told him to keep his mouth shut, but I don't know if he did.
Yeah. We moved to Inaba about the same time...we were only there for about a year though. I know he's excited to see home, but it's still...troubling, I guess? I know he can take care of himself but some people might not care.
...I think he'll listen to you. I don't want to hurt him, but considering everything else that's happened in this game. [Drinking trial milk. Getting lost for days. Etc.] He's a very honest person, too. And in a game like this people might not appreciate that.
[Sasuke frowns a little at this. Even he can tell that's true. Yu is a good boy... probably better than someone Sasuke would ever be, and he knows there may be a few still left who would take advantage of that kindness.
He might have been one of the ones to do it himself... if not for some of the people he's met.]
He needs to be more careful. I know he's... happy. About this place. About you. I can see why he's with you. You must mean a lot to him. [Sasuke doesn't want to say he wouldn't want to ruin Yu's happiness because......... gross, feelings.]
[Sasuke's grown soft and that's very sweet...but thank god someone else notices.]
...we're kind of dating? [Shrug. It's a weird and complicated situation, and she apparently doesn't care that Sasuke knows at this rate since he's helping her.] In my old life, I loved him. That never changed, but I've changed. That's why he needs to be extra careful.
But I'd appreciate it. [A beat.] ...Indulgence's dumb rule means that I owe you a favor though. What would you want in exchange?
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WEEK 5, MONDAY
Welcome back, Sasuke-san. [It's the same gentle and curious tone. She doesn't beckon him closer but seems to wait for him to make that choice. ] We can go somewhere else if you want.
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[His eye trails up after the fox doing its fox thing.]
Did Itachi talk to you at all when he was here?
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Your brother spoke to me once during his time here. Just the once though.
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[His brows furrow, though not exactly in anger or irritation. He looks further away than the fox, than even the shrine. The thin line of his lips are worried between his teeth almost as if he's deciding if he even wants to ask, to know.]
I... want to know why he chose you, and... I want to know why he killed her.
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I'm tired of always living in his illusion. I want to see... with my own eyes. What his intentions really are.
[He thinks.]
Why did he choose you?
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When Itachi came to me, he told me that choosing me had been a mistake. He said that being recognized by someone with my name in the dream had felt good, and he had accepted for that reason. But when he got here, he realized he was mistaken, and that he wouldn't be able to follow my ideal. He said he'd done a lot of things for love, but they weren't good.
He was planning to defect the following weekend.
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...Why did he kill her?
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[...ugh this is such a bad, unfair job, but...he deserves to know.] Sasuke. ...you don't have to tell me, but can I ask what you and Itachi spoke about when you both arrived here?
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Itachi had maybe planned... to again become the monster, just so he would fight against it.
He inhales deeply, but doesn’t exhale. He squeezes his eye shut and balls his fists at his sides.] Niisan... [A strained whisper.] I shouldn’t... have told him... he would die by my hands. [He doesn’t know if it would have changed Itachi’s intent. Maybe.]
I... was a fool. The... time I got with him, I wasted... Telling him he was going to die.
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...Itachi was determined to win solely so that you wouldn't. But it was with selfish intent. It doesn't excuse what he did, no matter what was said to him. [...] Would you still change that even if you could?
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He did it... for love anyway.
[Slowly, he looks up, his hands finally uncurling.] No... It wouldn’t matter. Our destinies... [He frowns and glances away.] No matter where, we’ll always be at odds, I think.
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You're very different people with very different goals. But unlike Itachi who wanted to rise from ruins, you seem like someone who wants justice to prevail despite the costs.
Am I right?
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...because he loved our village more than our clan’s honor.
I don’t care what it takes... I want our village... to be different. I want there to be peace without someone innocent suffering for it.
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…the world I want to create is one where people can see the truth and it's not hidden away to hurt other people, or themselves. I want people to be able to feel love no matter what, knowing that they don't have to hide who they are and being able to find at least one person who will accept them. It's when we carry our burdens ourselves that we turn into monsters, whether we mean to or not.
Not that Itachi was a monster, but you know what I mean. I think a world of peace where people don't have to suffer in silence is the most ideal. And where lies aren't hidden for very long before the truth comes out, and before they can hurt someone else.
It's maybe idealistic, but I think it's possible anyway. And I think what you want to accomplish is equally possible.
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The description really does cause his face to break at the edges. The hard line of his jaw, his one reliance on keeping it together. It isn't that the world sounds like a place he'd desperately want--it is, in a small essence--but that... it is very much a world he can see Itachi wanting.
It's a world... Naruto would also want, he thinks.]
I won't delude myself into believing any world will be perfect. [Only now does he realize... his world wouldn't have been perfect either.] I'm still going to stand with Justice at the end. I made a promise, and he shouldn't be alone.
But if we wanted... to help you make a world with a little of all of you in it. How do we accomplish that?
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You're smart that way. [She's started to realize no matter what the world won't be perfect, but they can give it their best shot.] And I can admire someone who keeps promises. If we wanted to make a world where all of our ideas were combined…? We'd have to work together.
The problem with our pantheon is that so many of us thought only our ideas were right and wouldn't listen to each other about how to incorporate other ideas. I think…since this game's started, a lot of us have learned to work together better. But there's still a lot we need to decide. To accomplish a world like what you're suggesting, we'd need a winner who would actually be willing to compromise and listen instead of focusing on only themselves. Someone who would at least try.
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I want Justice to win. I think he’s best suited... Being young, being so willing to try, to listen. The problem is, he’s... naive because of it. I’m... afraid some of the others will take advtanage of it, like how they bullied him into splitting you all evenly. [He looks up slowly, and then he looks to the fox, away again. Distantly.] He’s young enough to not be set in traditions... ones perpetrated over and over.
You have a lot on your side, though. If Yu can convince enough people to join you...
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[…] There was a man I knew once in my old life. No one suspected a thing because he was meek and clumsy and kind of one of the worst detectives ever. As it turned out, because he was playing the long game he was a serial killer who was responsible for a string of murders and murder attempts in my home. In Inaba. [In this place, where they are.] If you really think he's best suited, I'll support your choice, but I wanted you to understand why I have my own reservations even though I think he's a very sweet kid.
I only have one more than Justice. I'm worried Yu-senpai will actually hurt more than help with the way he's going about this. And I can tell you this. Justice has had members come and go multiple times, but I've never gained any. I've lost, but it's because they're people who were hit with a power, or people who were killed. The people who've joined me are those who aligned with me originally.
The only one who can convince people is me. And that's what I'll do. [There's a pause as she thinks.] …it's a new world. Who's to say we won't create new traditions of our own?
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[He finds himself looking back to Love again. He can see... why Itachi would choose her. Why, even if Itachi defected so many times as he did, Itachi would still be loyal anyway. More than likely.
Everything else... He'd only be arguing endlessly over a difference of opinion, so:]
You said Yu might hurt more than help. [He can't say Yu is terribly rash except, apparently, when very angry about the suffering of others, but...] Tell me what I can do to change that.
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At the mention of Yu though...she sighs softly.]
He needs to practice some more self-preservation. [...] I don't know if you've heard, but...we know each other. You know, from the old life. I'm worried about that being used against him if he tells the wrong person.
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He did seem more familiar with this wing than anyone else. Tch... That damn idiot. [He's going to knock those stupid glasses off Yu's face.] He wanted to apologize to Goro and the rest, too. I told him to keep his mouth shut, but I don't know if he did.
I'll talk to him.
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...I think he'll listen to you. I don't want to hurt him, but considering everything else that's happened in this game. [Drinking trial milk. Getting lost for days. Etc.] He's a very honest person, too. And in a game like this people might not appreciate that.
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He might have been one of the ones to do it himself... if not for some of the people he's met.]
He needs to be more careful. I know he's... happy. About this place. About you. I can see why he's with you. You must mean a lot to him. [Sasuke doesn't want to say he wouldn't want to ruin Yu's happiness because......... gross, feelings.]
I'll remind him to be more cautious.
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...we're kind of dating? [Shrug. It's a weird and complicated situation, and she apparently doesn't care that Sasuke knows at this rate since he's helping her.] In my old life, I loved him. That never changed, but I've changed. That's why he needs to be extra careful.
But I'd appreciate it. [A beat.] ...Indulgence's dumb rule means that I owe you a favor though. What would you want in exchange?
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