[It's hard to tell if he's blushing, or if it's just color left over in his cheeks from before—but there's something in his expression that says he knows he's a little over the top.]
...I think I'm just happy to see him, again. So... I want to make the most of our time together, you know? [our extremely limited time together, he doesn't say.]
[if this was an anime, there would be a record scratch sound effect right about now. it's not, so there isn't, but Ambition stares at him incredulously anyway.]
[Ambition's sudden reaction to the plainclothes truth he's been avoiding saying out loud the whole conversation is... weirdly comforting, somehow. Not for the first time, he's reminded of Anise. The corner of his mouth twitches upwards at her incredulity—a strange bonus to being numb to the inevitability of your own guaranteed demise.]
You're talking to the person who wants that more than anything. I told you—I made a promise. It's just...
[He pauses, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat.]
...No one's going to be happy if I compromise on who I am to get there. Not me, not anyone.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And... I owe him a lot for that.
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[it's hard to tell if she finds it cute or disgusting]
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[It's hard to tell if he's blushing, or if it's just color left over in his cheeks from before—but there's something in his expression that says he knows he's a little over the top.]
...I think I'm just happy to see him, again. So... I want to make the most of our time together, you know? [our extremely limited time together, he doesn't say.]
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No.
[You can practically picture her eyes going wide behind her mask.]
Do you have a crush on him?
[i'M SO SORRY THAT'S THE ONLY CONTEXT SHE'S EVER REALLY HEARD "MAKE THE MOST OF OUR TIME TOGETHER" IN BEFORE]
I can't believe I made my comment to Ion before I saw this, I can't believe how this worked
[The statement blindsides him so hard, he actually reels on the spot.]
N-No! Wh-What? No way! It's not--we're good--we're friends! He--we--
[He stumbles over his tongue, and tries again.]
I just--this is only 6 weeks, right? Right!?
I'M CRYING WITH LAUGHTER
[TAPS HER FOOT. answer her, luke!]
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[He practically shouts it, his voice a weird combination of desperation, embarrassment, and despair.
There's a pause, and he runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it in frustration.]
Then I'm never going to see him again! You know that, right?!
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[She crosses her arms.]
We can send you home. We don't have to if you don't want to go, you know. This world needs people to live in it.
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I... I can't. I can't.
I want to, but I can't.
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[she doesn't get it]
If it's what you want, just make it happen! It shouldn't be that hard...
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[The future in potential. The possibilities. No matter what, he could...]
But I have to go back. No matter what. Even if there's nothing for me to go back to.
[It's the desperation from before, with a hollow sadness.]
I have to see it through. No matter what.
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[sounds very yikes, to be honest]
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[of this, he seems completely certain.]
I don't know what'll happen after that. But I know I have to give all of who I am for it, or it won't happen at all.
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Can I ask you a question, then?
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Sure.
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He's quiet for a while. It's the first time he's put serious thought into materialising it verbally, so to speak.]
...I want to save Asch. And... I want to be alive.
I want both of us to come back alive.
[For a moment, it looks as though he's going to keep talking—but he hesitates, eyes drifting elsewhere.]
I... was thinking about asking Ion if he wanted to come, too. If I could. But... but if he wins, I feel like I already know what he'd choose.
[He'd never been one to shirk responsibility.]
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[They're bound to this world.]
Unless, like, somehow he stopped being a god anymore. But I don't think that's going to happen.
[...]
What do you think is going to happen if you don't get your wish?
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[For real. The finality of it is... something he doesn't dwell on.
But everything comes to an end.]
Guy... he's from the future—two years after our fight at Eldrant. He... hasn't seen me yet.
[and really, who suddenly shows up after 2 years?]
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What? No! That's not allowed!
[she stomps her foot]
You have to live.
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You're talking to the person who wants that more than anything. I told you—I made a promise. It's just...
[He pauses, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat.]
...No one's going to be happy if I compromise on who I am to get there. Not me, not anyone.
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[she's the worst
she's absolutely playing favorites, but she's the worst]
I'll be a god. The supreme god, I'll be able to do that!
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--and he starts laughing. there's no malice or taunting behind it—just an honest peel of laughter.
wiping an eye, he grins apologetically.]
I'm sorry, I just--[his shoulders shudder, and he barely contains another wave of giggles.]
You're a really good person, Ambition. I'm glad I summoned you. I'm glad we get to talk like this.
Thank you.
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Stop laughing at me when I'm being serious!
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