[His voice is soft and broken, but he tries to keep it in one piece, the calm foil to Luke's raw emotion. He holds firm, pulling Luke back whenever he escapes, his thumbs brushing away his tears, his eyes searching and desperate and more afraid than he wants to admit.]
I keep thinking of all the things I want to do with you...I can't help it. There's a weight in my heart that feels heavier every moment. I've thought endlessly of seeing you again without considering it would be a fleeting sight. It feels like even when you're right here, I'm already missing you all over again.
[There's a sound, somewhere between a sob and a sigh, and Luke's head drops, forehead gently bumping against Ion's, unable to escape his soft, insistent pull, letting Ion's words wash over him like waves on the shore, a cool, calm salve against a blistering wound.
Words seemed to hold less mystery to Ion. He shaped them to his purpose, and everything he says resounds easily with Luke, so much so that it's nearly a relief to hear.]
That's it... that's how I feel, every time I see you. I'm so happy, but I feel like... I'm just counting down the days, and every time I see you again, that feeling's there, but even stronger. And it hurts! It hurts so much, Ion, because I...
...I don't want to lose you twice!
And I know it's selfish and stupid! You're a god now, and I should just be happy that you have such a great life ahead of you, even with all this stupid stuff, because you really deserve it, but...!
[His voice drops to barely a whisper, the closeness between them only just enough to hear.]
I want to show you everything you missed. How the world's changing. How I'm changing.
I want to sit around with you and not think about anything, because I know you're okay.
...And I want to go back to Cheagle Woods with you, even if it's just for a day.
I want to have more time... so I can make more time for you.
[This time, it sounds more like a sigh, a puff of air on the exhale, soft, relieved, and ragged.]
...I spent most of my life being selfish, so I... guess I want to avoid it... but...
Maybe if we both want it, then maybe we can want it for each other. Like a selfish wish for... someone else's happiness, and they cancel each other out.
[Gently, slowly, he lifts his head from Ion's, expression nearly something you could call calm. In the dim light of the dining area, you could almost call it resolved.]
Or maybe we can both just be selfish together.
...And I think you more than deserve a little selfishness, Ion.
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no subject
[His voice is soft and broken, but he tries to keep it in one piece, the calm foil to Luke's raw emotion. He holds firm, pulling Luke back whenever he escapes, his thumbs brushing away his tears, his eyes searching and desperate and more afraid than he wants to admit.]
I keep thinking of all the things I want to do with you...I can't help it. There's a weight in my heart that feels heavier every moment. I've thought endlessly of seeing you again without considering it would be a fleeting sight. It feels like even when you're right here, I'm already missing you all over again.
no subject
Words seemed to hold less mystery to Ion. He shaped them to his purpose, and everything he says resounds easily with Luke, so much so that it's nearly a relief to hear.]
That's it... that's how I feel, every time I see you. I'm so happy, but I feel like... I'm just counting down the days, and every time I see you again, that feeling's there, but even stronger. And it hurts! It hurts so much, Ion, because I...
...I don't want to lose you twice!
And I know it's selfish and stupid! You're a god now, and I should just be happy that you have such a great life ahead of you, even with all this stupid stuff, because you really deserve it, but...!
[His voice drops to barely a whisper, the closeness between them only just enough to hear.]
I want to show you everything you missed. How the world's changing. How I'm changing.
I want to sit around with you and not think about anything, because I know you're okay.
...And I want to go back to Cheagle Woods with you, even if it's just for a day.
I want to have more time... so I can make more time for you.
no subject
[All of those things and so much more, even though "more" is something he's never dared to ask for--even think for.]
So, if you're selfish, so am I. Maybe...just for now...
[Unintentionally, Ion's forehead knits against Luke's.]
Isn't it okay to be a little selfish?
no subject
...I spent most of my life being selfish, so I... guess I want to avoid it... but...
Maybe if we both want it, then maybe we can want it for each other. Like a selfish wish for... someone else's happiness, and they cancel each other out.
[Gently, slowly, he lifts his head from Ion's, expression nearly something you could call calm. In the dim light of the dining area, you could almost call it resolved.]
Or maybe we can both just be selfish together.
...And I think you more than deserve a little selfishness, Ion.