this is the encounter that oda didn't want to deal with. just hearing those small feet running towards him is enough for oda to feel a metaphorical knife digging into him. it's hard to speak. ]
Nothing. You did nothing wrong.
[ his voice is tight, and this time it's a lot more difficult to keep his emotions in check. why? ]
I'm the one that did wrong. I'm the one that will do wrong. You don't deserve to be mixed in with that.
[ oda feels like he's choking, like there's not enough air to breathe. but somehow he continues, even forcing a small, shaky smile as he pats justice's head. ]
It's okay, Justice. It'll be alright. You still have three followers that care about you--three people that have dreams that can be accomplished.
[ unlike me, who's wish is useless. ]
And if I'm alive for next week....then I promise I'll be back at your side.
If I'm a winner, then I'll only be able to make one wish. If I bring the kids back, then I'll still have to kill the man that took their lives before he goes and kills them again. If I do that...I have no doubt that I'll also die.
[ that is what the detective said, after all. and, in his own heart, oda knows that it is true. ]
But if I wish to kill the man that did this to them, then the children will stay dead...and I'm not willing to live in a world without them.
But why...why does that mean you have to kill here and now? Just because you have to make one hard choice doesn't mean you have to keep making them over and over and over again--you're...a bigger person than that. I know you are.
Some things aren't easy to accomplish, but that doesn't mean you can't do it. It's natural to get discouraged but...but if you were really a bad person, you wouldn't have wanted to do good things to begin with. You understand, don't you? I really, really believe in you!
I don't have a justified reason. I don't think there's any way to justify murder. And a person...I can't tell you either.
[ he scratches the back of his head, unsure of what to do with justice. there are no headpats that will fix this ]
I'm not really smart enough to make a complicated trial. But if you see that they're not getting anywhere...I won't be mad if you try to show them the way.
[Justice is quiet, and then for the first time, manages to stammer his way into a stern tone of voice.]
That's so irresponsible! You say I have three followers left to take care of me, but for all you know you'll just be whittling down my numbers, and then if they catch you, you won't be coming back! If you won't think of yourself, think of everything that I've been fighting for! If I'm suddenly...suddenly down to one follower, after all this time...how am I going to catch up? I'll never be able to create the world that we're hoping for!
I can't give you any alignments. And if you're worried I'll warn people what you're planning, I can't do that, either. Anything you say to me is confidential, even if it makes me really sad. But if you trust me with your plans, I can at least help you make sure you don't do something you regret. I can tell you if who you're going after is a good idea or a bad idea.
I don’t know why you chose Connor, and...he’d probably say that it’s for the best that it’s him and not anyone else. But, if you really do want me to win, I can tell you that he’s the worst possible competitor to eliminate.
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this is the encounter that oda didn't want to deal with. just hearing those small feet running towards him is enough for oda to feel a metaphorical knife digging into him. it's hard to speak. ]
Nothing. You did nothing wrong.
[ his voice is tight, and this time it's a lot more difficult to keep his emotions in check. why? ]
I'm the one that did wrong. I'm the one that will do wrong. You don't deserve to be mixed in with that.
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[Justice hangs his head, but holds on tightly.]
Please talk to me.
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It's okay, Justice. It'll be alright. You still have three followers that care about you--three people that have dreams that can be accomplished.
[ unlike me, who's wish is useless. ]
And if I'm alive for next week....then I promise I'll be back at your side.
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[Justice goes quiet, but his hold on the adult remains just as fierce. Through that mask, he analyzes that smile.]
The only way you wouldn't know whether or not you'll be alive is if you're going to kill someone this weekend.
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[ for what feels like forever, there's no response from oda. he hangs his head, unable to look at justice.
but when he finally speaks up, his voice is choked up ]
I'm sorry, Justice.
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[ he will try...to wriggle out of justice's grip ]
It'll be fine.
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Can’t you at least tell me why? There’s a reason, isn’t there?
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[ he breathes out a raspy laugh, full of sadness. ]
But I've woken up now. And I've realized that, no matter what I do, I'll end up losing.
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[ that is what the detective said, after all. and, in his own heart, oda knows that it is true. ]
But if I wish to kill the man that did this to them, then the children will stay dead...and I'm not willing to live in a world without them.
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[ there's a long, long silence. ]
No. No I'm not. I'm not nearly as good as you think I am, Justice. I tried to become one but...it just didn't work.
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[Justice hangs his head, even though he doesn't let go, holding on tightly to Oda's sleeve as his body begins to shake.]
I'm sorry. I won't try to stop you...I couldn't even if I wanted to. At least tell me who, and why, please.
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[ oda hesitates...but finally speaks up. ]
I don't have a justified reason. I don't think there's any way to justify murder. And a person...I can't tell you either.
[ he scratches the back of his head, unsure of what to do with justice. there are no headpats that will fix this ]
I'm not really smart enough to make a complicated trial. But if you see that they're not getting anywhere...I won't be mad if you try to show them the way.
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[ uhm. ]
No.
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[Justice is quiet, and then for the first time, manages to stammer his way into a stern tone of voice.]
That's so irresponsible! You say I have three followers left to take care of me, but for all you know you'll just be whittling down my numbers, and then if they catch you, you won't be coming back! If you won't think of yourself, think of everything that I've been fighting for! If I'm suddenly...suddenly down to one follower, after all this time...how am I going to catch up? I'll never be able to create the world that we're hoping for!
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[ oda's actually??? a little shocked by the burst of emotion?? but he eventually settles back down, looking (and feeling) quite guilty ]
Right. You're right. [ he hangs his head ] I'm sorry.
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It's okay.
[To err is human.]
I can't give you any alignments. And if you're worried I'll warn people what you're planning, I can't do that, either. Anything you say to me is confidential, even if it makes me really sad. But if you trust me with your plans, I can at least help you make sure you don't do something you regret. I can tell you if who you're going after is a good idea or a bad idea.
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[ oda sighs. there's no way around this, is there? ]
Connor.
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Thank you. Thank you for telling me.
[He pauses, hanging his head.]
I don’t know why you chose Connor, and...he’d probably say that it’s for the best that it’s him and not anyone else. But, if you really do want me to win, I can tell you that he’s the worst possible competitor to eliminate.
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[ oda hesitates again, juggling both his own selfish anger and justice’s request.
but he nods, despite himself. ] Got it.
[ then— ]
Mouri.
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