...when my follower asked for permission to use the ability, your name was not mentioned. I suppose it's because they knew I might say no. But they've wanted to help me stay in this game, and it meant finding people to align with me. I don't imagine they thought it would go this way, and neither did I.
[Beauty doesn't bother moving and just kind of allows it.]
When we spoke, it was with the intent of gathering information...a specific person wasn't named, and I suppose I should have asked better questions. I've failed not only you, but them as well. This wasn't my intention.
[There's a pause.] You were in danger today because of my own carelessness.
[There's a soft, very quiet laugh.] Of course you are. You seem surprised by that thought. It's obvious people care about you. Shishimaru-kun and Majima-san and Mizuki-san and Kaname-chan and even Uchiha-san in his own very confusing way.
...I feel better, I think. Knowing you'll be safe. [A pause.] Please don't misunderstand though. I told you before that I want to keep you safe. I still mean that.
[Even as Senri speaks, Beauty turns his head to rest his chin on Senri's hair finally. It's some form of affection though hesitant all the same, just in case.]
While I do appreciate your honesty with me, whoever told you that was foolish. I believe that everyone deserves to be cared for, even if they're misunderstood. [A liar. Shallow. Unknown.]
...obvious or no, would you really still want to knowing this happened?
... I trust you, still. I think you'd take care of me. And... I do want you to win... Maybe I could be with you for real, then I don't have to lie about it anymore.
[ . . . ]
But I'm not sure yet. I don't want to get your hopes up. It might also be too obvious, and then something could happen to me and you'd lose a follower again anyway.
...Senri. [No honorific this time.] Though the thought of you joining my side elates me, you know I want what's best for you. It's a precarious situation we've found ourselves in, and I know you've been safe and happy with Sincerity prior to this moment. [A hand suddenly comes up to cradle the back of Senri's head a little.]
Where do you think you would go? [It's a quiet tone again.] You...you could switch for a week and then switch back. No one would know. You could be safe that way. I don't intend to lose, and it's as I told Majima-san. "The prize at the end is something I want. Just because I've agreed to play doesn't mean I have to play the way some of the others want me to. But if there's a chance to become the head of the pantheon as deserved, I'll earn it in the best way possible."
[it's horrifying that senri is as easy as he is - because the hand at his head manages to ground him a little bit, a gentle touch that he trusts, and he closes his eyes as he thinks about it.]
... I'm going to see what I can do, and what I can get. If not from gods, then from participants who might want more people to join their god.
[ . . . he wonders if it's okay to say such ugly things out loud, to Beauty, who's sincerely trying his best.
Someone so noble....]
I don't know yet, where I'm going to go, or who I should listen to.
[ . . . ]
But wherever I go, I promise I'll do my best to help you, too. Hopefully better than I have been. I... messed this one up.
[Cool, they can both be sad and clingy idiots because Beauty's a little more upset than he's willing to say when Senri's the one who's still vulnerable here.]
A bidding war then. Do you suppose that will work? [If he disapproves, he doesn't say so. Actually it sort of makes sense? And yet...] ...I only ask that you be careful. The others can be tricky when it comes to offers, especially after such a great loss today. You should align yourself with someone you can agree with, and who won't choose to harm you instead of another loyal follower.
[Nggh...] ...it's my fault as well, as you know. We'll both take the blame for this one, I won't stand to hear otherwise. Do you understand?
[ . . . . and senri will just laugh faintly at that.]
.... we'll find out.
[and he'll pause and tilt his head]
That's what I was going to ask too... You owe me a favor, you know? But I don't know what I can ask for. If I needed to borrow Above Suspicion for something - could I? Or can you not give me that, no matter how much you like me.
I do owe you a favor, that much is true...[There's a lingering pause though.] I don't know if that's mine to give to someone who isn't aligned with me no matter how much I like you. It's a very specific sort of power, Senri-kun, and while I understand why you would ask...I truly am not sure.
[...] It would be easier to answer, I think, if you aligned with me. [It seems there's something else he has to answer to, despite how much he wants to say yes.]
[he didn't need to say it like that. because even if it's VERY STRONG FRIENDSHIP senri gets a little flustered, heat rising up his neck as he very stubbornly does not look back at Beauty]
[What a cute rabbit...Beauty's pleased all the same and finally removes his head from the top of Senri's, though his hand reaches out, hovering a little because he's not sure if he wants to pat him on the head or hold his hand or hug him and it's a very confusing time.]
But okay, Beauty blinks behind the mask for a moment before he just kind of pulls Senri into his side for a hug because that's what you do when people are dead and everything happens a lot.]
Thank you. Your forgiveness means everything to me.
...I will. I will do everything in my power to do so. [He has to protect his own, and it's like he said once. You can choose the people you're close with even if they're not really yours.]
You also understand I must take care of my own as well but that doesn't change anything, yes?
... I'd be mad at you if you didn't. Those people are protecting you when I can't, so I owe a lot to them.
[and he says that confidently - because he knows that just because Beauty has loyalty to others, senri wants to believe that doesn't mean that he cares about him any less]
As long as you're okay, I think I'll be able to breathe easier.
I'll be alright. I can assure you of that much. [This, too, is said with confidence because together they're still missing a braincell. But there's loyalty in spades.]
Protect yourself as best as you can. That's all I ask, and I'll do the same.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But...I'm sorry that this has happened.
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Would you have stopped them?
If you knew it was me?
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[Beauty's Senri-bias is maybe a mile long.]
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okay. he breathes out, finally. and walks closer before he can sit next to beauty and just. lets his head fall against his shoulder]
.... please ask next time.... before someone tries to do that to me....
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When we spoke, it was with the intent of gathering information...a specific person wasn't named, and I suppose I should have asked better questions. I've failed not only you, but them as well. This wasn't my intention.
[There's a pause.] You were in danger today because of my own carelessness.
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[ . . . ]
I'm.... more well-protected than I thought. I was just angriest because I thought you didn't care enough to -
['take care of me'.
ah.]
... nevermind.
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...I feel better, I think. Knowing you'll be safe. [A pause.] Please don't misunderstand though. I told you before that I want to keep you safe. I still mean that.
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I was told once that nobody cares about shallow people like me, who tell lies to get what they want, and don't know how to talk to people for real.
[so maybe
just maybe that's why he struggles a little bit to remember that people care]
.... do you think it'd be too obvious if I joined your team instead?
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While I do appreciate your honesty with me, whoever told you that was foolish. I believe that everyone deserves to be cared for, even if they're misunderstood. [A liar. Shallow. Unknown.]
...obvious or no, would you really still want to knowing this happened?
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You're nicer than a lot of people I know...
[though at the question, he pauses.]
... I trust you, still. I think you'd take care of me. And... I do want you to win... Maybe I could be with you for real, then I don't have to lie about it anymore.
[ . . . ]
But I'm not sure yet. I don't want to get your hopes up. It might also be too obvious, and then something could happen to me and you'd lose a follower again anyway.
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Where do you think you would go? [It's a quiet tone again.] You...you could switch for a week and then switch back. No one would know. You could be safe that way. I don't intend to lose, and it's as I told Majima-san. "The prize at the end is something I want. Just because I've agreed to play doesn't mean I have to play the way some of the others want me to. But if there's a chance to become the head of the pantheon as deserved, I'll earn it in the best way possible."
I don't intend to lose. Especially not now.
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... I'm going to see what I can do, and what I can get. If not from gods, then from participants who might want more people to join their god.
[ . . . he wonders if it's okay to say such ugly things out loud, to Beauty, who's sincerely trying his best.
Someone so noble....]
I don't know yet, where I'm going to go, or who I should listen to.
[ . . . ]
But wherever I go, I promise I'll do my best to help you, too. Hopefully better than I have been. I... messed this one up.
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A bidding war then. Do you suppose that will work? [If he disapproves, he doesn't say so. Actually it sort of makes sense? And yet...] ...I only ask that you be careful. The others can be tricky when it comes to offers, especially after such a great loss today. You should align yourself with someone you can agree with, and who won't choose to harm you instead of another loyal follower.
[Nggh...] ...it's my fault as well, as you know. We'll both take the blame for this one, I won't stand to hear otherwise. Do you understand?
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.... we'll find out.
[and he'll pause and tilt his head]
That's what I was going to ask too... You owe me a favor, you know? But I don't know what I can ask for. If I needed to borrow Above Suspicion for something - could I? Or can you not give me that, no matter how much you like me.
[because Beauty does like him - right?]
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[...] It would be easier to answer, I think, if you aligned with me. [It seems there's something else he has to answer to, despite how much he wants to say yes.]
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senri looks away, expression torn.]
.... I don't want to lie to you and say I definitely will.
But I hate saying no to you just as much.
So... please don't make me....
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[VERY STRONG FRIENDSHIP.]
I wish I could give you everything you've asked for, but the rules...you know how they are. Will you tell me when you do decide?
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.... yeah.
I'll come back tomorrow, and give you an answer.
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I would like that very much.
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I'm not mad at you anymore - so you can touch me, you know? I won't bite.
[pay attention to him!! give him affection!!]
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But okay, Beauty blinks behind the mask for a moment before he just kind of pulls Senri into his side for a hug because that's what you do when people are dead and everything happens a lot.]
Thank you. Your forgiveness means everything to me.
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... please continue to take care of me into the future.
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You also understand I must take care of my own as well but that doesn't change anything, yes?
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[and he says that confidently - because he knows that just because Beauty has loyalty to others, senri wants to believe that doesn't mean that he cares about him any less]
As long as you're okay, I think I'll be able to breathe easier.
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Protect yourself as best as you can. That's all I ask, and I'll do the same.