Do you think he'd give me a second chance? I mean, if I tried to apologize. I mean, I've been such a bitch, I know I have...and it's like, not totally his fault or anything. But especially now that I'm getting to know you I'm starting to realize that maybe, you know, I had the wrong idea or something.
... can I ask what made you dislike him so much in the first place?
Cheri's really sweet, I think... and he'd definitely forgive you. But I wouldn't suggest you do it unless you really mean it, or else things could explode all over again.
Ugh. Okay, this has to stay between just us, okay? Because it's super embarrassing, I mean it. Like, totally mortifying.
[Still talking, Disorder turns on her heel and starts walking toward the cafeteria, possibly wanting somewhere to keep gossiping while they sit.]
So this was before Cunning and I got together, right? And I immediately gravitated toward Sincerity because I mean, hello, he's gorgeous. And I thought he was super cute, too, I mean more than just looks. I liked a lot of things about him, like the way he spoke his mind, and his confidence, and his sense of style. So I tried to be his friend--
[She pushes open the Cafeteria doors.]
--and it was great for, like, two seconds? But then he was like, wow, you're so fake, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, excuse me? You don't just tell people that they're fake, I mean, especially not when they're trying to be your friend, right? And I like, like liked him, so I was definitely hoping to be more than just friends, and I guess I'm not really used to getting rejected either, so I didn't take it so well. So then he gets together with Beauty and they're both against me like, that girl's hot but she's such an ugly skank on the inside, it's so sad.
[Disorder sits, heavily, putting her head in her hands.]
Sometimes when people say things about me...I just get, like, really upset. My therapist says--used to say, I guess--that the only way that I'm comfortable with working through insecurity is by lashing out. I used to have constructive ways to do that, like, with sports, but now I don't really have any hobbies, so I guess I'm just lashing out at people again? But I'm not doing it on purpose.
[She waves a hand, which could either mean "sure" or "don't worry about it" and just kind of, keeps dumping emotionally, so that's...cool. It's an absolute snowball effect of "nobody has ever given me the chance to talk about this".]
So like, whatever, right? I'm over it, because I have Cunning and I have Ambition, only almost everyone has more followers than me and now I'm like, what if I really am some fat, ugly skank bitch and I'll never really be able to get anyone on my side ever again?
[The more Disorder talks, the more it sounds like she's about to cry.]
And then Chuuya makes fun of me, and tells everyone that I said I was going to kill him, which never even happened, and he writes all this poetry talking about how Sincerity's the only one of us who even matters and Sincerity literally pushes it in my face like isn't it great that your followers like me better than you?
[Senri's going to move forward with it then - if only because he probably thinks that some comforting touch might help right now. so he'll place his hands on her shoulders just to give her a light massage, just enough to hopefully relieve some stress?? wow, yikes, tense.]
You're not. You're none of those awful things.
In general - maybe eliminate those words from your vocabulary?
[ . . . ]
You can keep talking, if there's more... No one's really asked for your side, huh....
Of course nobody has. I'm Disorder and he's Sincerity, so that means I'm a liar just because he's telling the truth. But why does the truth just have to mean one thing?
[She sniffs beneath her mask.]
This is so stupid. I can't even use tissues with this thing on! God!
[Hugging herself, Disorder takes a deep breath.]
The worst part is, a couple people did come to talk to me and I got a chance to tell my side of the story? And I really felt like they listened and things were going to get better, but then they just started badmouthing me again like none of what I said even mattered. Why even listen to the chaotic slut, right?
[She turns toward him with a tense sort of surprise, but then she all but jumps into his arms for a hug, holding onto him tightly as she holds back her tears.]
[ . . . and senri will just sigh as he wraps his arms around her, hugging her close. he's been giving out a lot of hugs lately, he thinks but.]
.... well, you know. You saw the trial too, right? I guess... I have people doubting me too now, even though I thought that I was lying for a good reason - and it doesn't feel good, no matter what.
... I'm going to try to talk to Cheri, just to make sure that you don't have to make yourself vulnerable just for him to get a little catty. I don't think that he would but - better safe than sorry, right?
[ . . . ]
Other people are going to doubt you on my behalf, I think. But I'll help you where I can, so please take care of me, so we can both show those people wrong.
I'll talk to him about it. Just try to go into the conversation remembering that you're just as wonderful as he is - but you don't need to make it into a comparison thing, okay? Cheri being great doesn't make you any less great.
[SENRI PLAYING THERAPIST TO THE GODS IS FINE]
Let's try not to lash out at people anymore? It's beneath you. You're better than that, you just gotta prove it to yourself and then them.
If you wanna play sports, we can play soccer sometime.
I'm best at lacrosse, but I could go for soccer if you get a team together. I'll see if I can get away with wearing real person clothes. Ugh, how is anyone supposed to run around in an unflattering getup like this?
I've never played lacrosse.... If you teach me, I'll try to play with you! But soccer might be easier for people who are just learning.
[do
do people here know what a sportsball is?]
Ahaha, it is pretty Venetian. How about next time we hang out, once everything's all patched up, we go to Cheri's costume hall and pick out something cute for you to wear?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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... can I ask what made you dislike him so much in the first place?
Cheri's really sweet, I think... and he'd definitely forgive you. But I wouldn't suggest you do it unless you really mean it, or else things could explode all over again.
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[Still talking, Disorder turns on her heel and starts walking toward the cafeteria, possibly wanting somewhere to keep gossiping while they sit.]
So this was before Cunning and I got together, right? And I immediately gravitated toward Sincerity because I mean, hello, he's gorgeous. And I thought he was super cute, too, I mean more than just looks. I liked a lot of things about him, like the way he spoke his mind, and his confidence, and his sense of style. So I tried to be his friend--
[She pushes open the Cafeteria doors.]
--and it was great for, like, two seconds? But then he was like, wow, you're so fake, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, excuse me? You don't just tell people that they're fake, I mean, especially not when they're trying to be your friend, right? And I like, like liked him, so I was definitely hoping to be more than just friends, and I guess I'm not really used to getting rejected either, so I didn't take it so well. So then he gets together with Beauty and they're both against me like, that girl's hot but she's such an ugly skank on the inside, it's so sad.
[Disorder sits, heavily, putting her head in her hands.]
Sometimes when people say things about me...I just get, like, really upset. My therapist says--used to say, I guess--that the only way that I'm comfortable with working through insecurity is by lashing out. I used to have constructive ways to do that, like, with sports, but now I don't really have any hobbies, so I guess I'm just lashing out at people again? But I'm not doing it on purpose.
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Can I massage your shoulders?
You - uh, sound like you need it a little.
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So like, whatever, right? I'm over it, because I have Cunning and I have Ambition, only almost everyone has more followers than me and now I'm like, what if I really am some fat, ugly skank bitch and I'll never really be able to get anyone on my side ever again?
[The more Disorder talks, the more it sounds like she's about to cry.]
And then Chuuya makes fun of me, and tells everyone that I said I was going to kill him, which never even happened, and he writes all this poetry talking about how Sincerity's the only one of us who even matters and Sincerity literally pushes it in my face like isn't it great that your followers like me better than you?
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[Senri's going to move forward with it then - if only because he probably thinks that some comforting touch might help right now. so he'll place his hands on her shoulders just to give her a light massage, just enough to hopefully relieve some stress?? wow, yikes, tense.]
You're not. You're none of those awful things.
In general - maybe eliminate those words from your vocabulary?
[ . . . ]
You can keep talking, if there's more... No one's really asked for your side, huh....
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[She sniffs beneath her mask.]
This is so stupid. I can't even use tissues with this thing on! God!
[Hugging herself, Disorder takes a deep breath.]
The worst part is, a couple people did come to talk to me and I got a chance to tell my side of the story? And I really felt like they listened and things were going to get better, but then they just started badmouthing me again like none of what I said even mattered. Why even listen to the chaotic slut, right?
[Her vocabulary continues to be not great.]
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[ . . . ]
Do you want a hug...?
[please don't stab him )': ]
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Oh my god, you are just, so nice.
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.... well, you know. You saw the trial too, right? I guess... I have people doubting me too now, even though I thought that I was lying for a good reason - and it doesn't feel good, no matter what.
... I'm going to try to talk to Cheri, just to make sure that you don't have to make yourself vulnerable just for him to get a little catty. I don't think that he would but - better safe than sorry, right?
[ . . . ]
Other people are going to doubt you on my behalf, I think. But I'll help you where I can, so please take care of me, so we can both show those people wrong.
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[And by "put my foot in my mouth" we here mean her getting frustrated at something he says and retaliating by trying to knee him in the teeth.]
At this point, like, any support I can get is amazing.
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[SENRI PLAYING THERAPIST TO THE GODS IS FINE]
Let's try not to lash out at people anymore? It's beneath you. You're better than that, you just gotta prove it to yourself and then them.
If you wanna play sports, we can play soccer sometime.
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[do
do people here know what a sportsball is?]
Ahaha, it is pretty Venetian. How about next time we hang out, once everything's all patched up, we go to Cheri's costume hall and pick out something cute for you to wear?
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