Sincerity has never lived a life wanting regrets to linger. I don't think a life should have regrets either or things left unsaid. There's nothing worse than being left wondering until the end of time.
[Speaking from experience...but he takes a breath.]
...you have to. You know that and I know that because that's how things are. I wish things were different, but perhaps this is what people mean when they say people can be starcrossed.
[Starcrossed lovers and all that, though maybe it's not the same.] Do you regret other things in this place?
... I told someone - that starcrossed is a reeeaaally cute, romantic trope in fiction. I like it a lot.... but I think I like it a lot less when it feels like it's happening to me.
[if that's something that he can say to tamaki - if he's reading his feelings correctly this time, instead of guessing wrong before. even now he knows this is the most sensible, the most responsible. he won't be going home with anyone besides taka and he can't ask anyone to abandon theirs for him -
.... and he sighs a little bit.]
I only regret... the people I'm not able to save, or help. The fact that I don't even know entirely what I'm doing, or if I'm making any difference at all....
But I... while we're here, I'm... still grateful for everyone I get to meet.
I don't like it very much either. [So...yeah. Maybe he's reading them correct this time and Tamaki can acknowledge them even if he doesn't understand how or why. He's always been bad at that.]
Never regret that when you've tried your best and continue to try your best. You've made a great difference for a number of people whether you realize it or not. It shows in the spread of information and the way people other than myself have come to trust you.
...I can only wish that even with everything, at the end of this you'll manage to find some happy memories to take away from this even among the tragedies.
[ . . . hah. he'd known for a little while, somewhere in his chest, that maybe tamaki felt the same. it had been incubating in his mind since the end of their date - and for some reason the confirmation doesn't make anything easier. it helps when logic overrules and senri knows that they wouldn't be able to work out -
.... but hadn't they just said that sometimes knowing something doesn't ease the feelings at all?]
.... of course I will.
[and he offers up a soft smile at that, pulling away just enough to look up at tamaki]
I got to play house with Ogou-san. I've met Madopyon, who is a friend that I want to keep forever. Sasuke made me dinner and dessert. Guy-san and Luke-kun both learned more about technology. Zo wants to visit Tokyo. Cheri and I went to a carnival - I took Justice too. I got to introduce a lot of people to things that made them happy.
[ . . . ]
I got to enjoy a really fun dream, with a really charming prince, and even now he shows me kindness.
.... today was hard, but -
Even if there isn't a happy ending, there can still be a wonderful story.
[He doesn't immediately reply, but as Senri pulls back Tamaki sits up just enough to kiss his forehead again just because it's his room and he's allowed a few secrets of his own.]
Those are all wonderful experiences that I hope you hold onto for a long time. Things that will get you through the next few weeks. ..it's those experiences and conversations with people that help guide you to an answer of who you are and who you wish to be. I think you're still turning out to be a wonderful person, and happy endings are really all in how you look at it.
senri blinks at the kiss, and the blood rushes to his face so fast that he nearly misses what tamaki actually said. he ducks his head as if that'll manage to hide the blush that rushes all the way up to his ears, touched and embarrassed as he is.
. . . ]
.... I want to listen to you - so.... I will.
Um - [he's trying really hard to make words work in his brain] .... I hope I can be the person that you think I am.
[Cute...Tamaki seems pleased with himself and smiles a little because it's adorable the way he responds. Is it fair since Senri has a boyfriend? Perhaps not...but it's just friendly at this point. Maybe.
He doesn't know, but maybe he doesn't have to know. They only have a few weeks anyway.]
You've succeeded so far. [His hand cups Senri's cheek, fully focused on him and pulling the prince persona all over again even if the smile is a bit too genuine.] More than that, I hope you can be the person you are for me for other people who wish to know.
[ . . . if yuma did this, would senri be okay with it? if yuma gave him a kiss on the head, and cupped his cheek, would senri be okay with it? or more - if senri did this to yuma, would it make him feel guilty over taka? .... and senri decides that he wouldn't, so it's alright.
it's affectionate, but so is beauty. senri will lean into the touch like the affection-starved idiot that he is, and even though his face feels flushed, he offers up a soft smile.
honesty is hard. he's been able to be completely honest with very few people. only the number that he can count on one hand, but.]
... mm. I'll - see what I can do.
[but even so he knows it's hard - because opening up to gods who already know everything about him was easy, and opening up to tamaki was always even easier than that.]
... please watch over me, and tell me how well I manage.
[Cool, that just means Tamaki won't be letting go just yet. His thumb brushes over Senri's cheek just a little bit, the smile reflective on his own features when it appears.]
I will. I've always watched over you, haven't I? [Probably more than Senri knows. Tamaki tends to watch over his followers and Senri himself, knowing what happens to them in this place. That won't change anytime soon.]
...you'll have to go back soon, won't you? For the evening. [Back to Takaomi.]
[senri blinks in surprise at the question, but chooses to answer honestly:]
I went to take care of Taka first. [so he did that earlier, and made sure that Taka, before anyone else, was okay. because at the end of the day, he's dating Taka, and he's loyal, and he'd do anything for him. he knows that it's best if he and Tamaki know that.
. . . that said.]
.... I do need to go back eventually -
But do you want me to stay with you a little longer?
[because they're friends. and because no matter how weird it is, if tamaki wants senri to stay with him, senri will do that too. because he's bad at leaving anyone, most of all tamaki, alone.]
[Antoinette immediately nyooms over to the bed, jumping up and almost knocking Senri out of the way to lick Tamaki's face, barking all the way. It at least gets Tamaki to laugh though as his hands let go of Senri to try and control his dog.]
Antoinette--ahaha--stop that! This is no way for a lady to behave! [He pushes at his dog's face even as he allows her to bodyslam into him.]
I wouldn't necessarily call it a debt, but you do have some things to make up for, Little Rabbit. [Like BREAKING HIS HEART?? But in all seriousness, he scoots back a little.] ...I can summon things. Or we can just talk? [Netflix and chill but literally just watching godly Netflix.]
[Senri laughs a little bit at that, terribly endeared at the amount of love that Antoinette gives Tamaki. he moves to join him on the bed, kneeling as he crawls his way over and occupies the side of Tamaki that Antoinette isn't on.]
... I could go for some mindless movie. Something cute, maybe?
[Senri and Tamaki watched tangled, text it.]
We can just talk too - I like hearing about you and your friends.
[and he's just a touchy kind of person so he'll settle himself snug against Tamaki]
[Antoinette settles just enough even as she wags her tail and woofs at Tamaki again. The bow she's wearing today is one of the ones Senri left as an offering as well, and it's maybe for that reason that Tamaki gives Senri room to join him. He shifts to accommodate the extra weight of both dog and rabbit, looking up toward the ceiling as a TV just kind of. Descends down from it.]
We could do both? It's been a while since I've seen anything. [Movie-wise or friend-wise from the old life.] A fictional happy ending sounds nice to see.
[Well, he's going to scoot all of them back so they can lean against the headboard. The stuffed pup is held in his lap and the book's knocked aside as the real dog rests her head on his knee and Senri's settled against his side.]
No, that was how I designed this room. Any of us could have done that.
[why did Tamaki even pretend he was reading. Senri pauses for a second before he laughs. he'll even rearrange Tamaki's arm so that it fits around him comfortably, though admittedly more around his shoulders than his waist just bc it reads as vaguely more platonic
as he leans his head against tamaki's shoulder as opposed to his chest because
[Tamaki's doing his best and he doesn't even protest this. This is what he'd do with Kyoya, he thinks, if, like, Kyoya even allowed touching in the first place.
Nevertheless the TV hangs at the perfect height and a remote appears out of nowhere? They're definitely watching Tangled even though that was after Tamaki's time period. It's on godly Netflix, why not. It's a creation he can make himself.]
I've never designed something like this before. [For why he's proud.] Haruhi would probably think it's impractical, but it's similar to my bedroom from the second estate.
[senri and haruhi honestly would get along if only for the fact that they both retain common sense. this is super odd. it doesn't make sense.
but as they both pretend that they're only each other's best friends, senri will yawn a little if only because he's comfortable and reach out to pet antoinette as he relaxes]
[senri tries to remember the word that tamaki used - he doesn't look up at him, but instead keeps his eye son the movie screen so he doesn't feel too watched and picked apart - ]
[He makes zero movements with his own arms, but he allows it. Antoinette huffs a little as she nuzzles against Tamaki's leg.]
She likes to explore the estate as it is. I can't imagine how much she'd enjoy somewhere new. It's why she stays here instead of roaming the temple. [...] ...Antoinette was a welcome gift when I arrived in Japan. She was waiting for me at the second estate...she's been a very good friend ever since she was a puppy.
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[Speaking from experience...but he takes a breath.]
...you have to. You know that and I know that because that's how things are. I wish things were different, but perhaps this is what people mean when they say people can be starcrossed.
[Starcrossed lovers and all that, though maybe it's not the same.] Do you regret other things in this place?
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[if that's something that he can say to tamaki - if he's reading his feelings correctly this time, instead of guessing wrong before. even now he knows this is the most sensible, the most responsible. he won't be going home with anyone besides taka and he can't ask anyone to abandon theirs for him -
.... and he sighs a little bit.]
I only regret... the people I'm not able to save, or help. The fact that I don't even know entirely what I'm doing, or if I'm making any difference at all....
But I... while we're here, I'm... still grateful for everyone I get to meet.
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Never regret that when you've tried your best and continue to try your best. You've made a great difference for a number of people whether you realize it or not. It shows in the spread of information and the way people other than myself have come to trust you.
...I can only wish that even with everything, at the end of this you'll manage to find some happy memories to take away from this even among the tragedies.
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.... but hadn't they just said that sometimes knowing something doesn't ease the feelings at all?]
.... of course I will.
[and he offers up a soft smile at that, pulling away just enough to look up at tamaki]
I got to play house with Ogou-san. I've met Madopyon, who is a friend that I want to keep forever. Sasuke made me dinner and dessert. Guy-san and Luke-kun both learned more about technology. Zo wants to visit Tokyo. Cheri and I went to a carnival - I took Justice too. I got to introduce a lot of people to things that made them happy.
[ . . . ]
I got to enjoy a really fun dream, with a really charming prince, and even now he shows me kindness.
.... today was hard, but -
Even if there isn't a happy ending, there can still be a wonderful story.
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Those are all wonderful experiences that I hope you hold onto for a long time. Things that will get you through the next few weeks. ..it's those experiences and conversations with people that help guide you to an answer of who you are and who you wish to be. I think you're still turning out to be a wonderful person, and happy endings are really all in how you look at it.
But perhaps that's just me.
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senri blinks at the kiss, and the blood rushes to his face so fast that he nearly misses what tamaki actually said. he ducks his head as if that'll manage to hide the blush that rushes all the way up to his ears, touched and embarrassed as he is.
. . . ]
.... I want to listen to you - so.... I will.
Um - [he's trying really hard to make words work in his brain] .... I hope I can be the person that you think I am.
[he has an expectation to reach now]
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He doesn't know, but maybe he doesn't have to know. They only have a few weeks anyway.]
You've succeeded so far. [His hand cups Senri's cheek, fully focused on him and pulling the prince persona all over again even if the smile is a bit too genuine.] More than that, I hope you can be the person you are for me for other people who wish to know.
[i.e. being honest.]
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it's affectionate, but so is beauty. senri will lean into the touch like the affection-starved idiot that he is, and even though his face feels flushed, he offers up a soft smile.
honesty is hard. he's been able to be completely honest with very few people. only the number that he can count on one hand, but.]
... mm. I'll - see what I can do.
[but even so he knows it's hard - because opening up to gods who already know everything about him was easy, and opening up to tamaki was always even easier than that.]
... please watch over me, and tell me how well I manage.
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I will. I've always watched over you, haven't I? [Probably more than Senri knows. Tamaki tends to watch over his followers and Senri himself, knowing what happens to them in this place. That won't change anytime soon.]
...you'll have to go back soon, won't you? For the evening. [Back to Takaomi.]
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I went to take care of Taka first. [so he did that earlier, and made sure that Taka, before anyone else, was okay. because at the end of the day, he's dating Taka, and he's loyal, and he'd do anything for him. he knows that it's best if he and Tamaki know that.
. . . that said.]
.... I do need to go back eventually -
But do you want me to stay with you a little longer?
[because they're friends. and because no matter how weird it is, if tamaki wants senri to stay with him, senri will do that too. because he's bad at leaving anyone, most of all tamaki, alone.]
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…just for a little while? The company is nice.
[i.e. he's lonely, please send help.]
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Come here, An-chan! I think Tama-chin deserves some love and care, don't you?
[and he turns back to Tamaki with a smile]
I do have people to take care of - yourself included. I think I owe you quite a debt, you know? So I'd like to start to make up for that.
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Antoinette--ahaha--stop that! This is no way for a lady to behave! [He pushes at his dog's face even as he allows her to bodyslam into him.]
I wouldn't necessarily call it a debt, but you do have some things to make up for, Little Rabbit. [Like BREAKING HIS HEART?? But in all seriousness, he scoots back a little.] ...I can summon things. Or we can just talk? [Netflix and chill but literally just watching godly Netflix.]
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... I could go for some mindless movie. Something cute, maybe?
[Senri and Tamaki watched tangled, text it.]
We can just talk too - I like hearing about you and your friends.
[and he's just a touchy kind of person so he'll settle himself snug against Tamaki]
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We could do both? It's been a while since I've seen anything. [Movie-wise or friend-wise from the old life.] A fictional happy ending sounds nice to see.
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[excuse as he settles against tamaki but also like. sounds kind of broken?]
Do rich people just summon TVs from the ceiling....
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No, that was how I designed this room. Any of us could have done that.
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as he leans his head against tamaki's shoulder as opposed to his chest because
yeah platonic]
Why do you sound so proud of yourself....
Mm, okay. Let's watch something then.
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Nevertheless the TV hangs at the perfect height and a remote appears out of nowhere? They're definitely watching Tangled even though that was after Tamaki's time period. It's on godly Netflix, why not. It's a creation he can make himself.]
I've never designed something like this before. [For why he's proud.] Haruhi would probably think it's impractical, but it's similar to my bedroom from the second estate.
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but as they both pretend that they're only each other's best friends, senri will yawn a little if only because he's comfortable and reach out to pet antoinette as he relaxes]
Second estate....?
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Yes. I wasn't allowed to live in the main mansion yet. But it's alright. The second estate isn't as large as my house was in France, but it was nice.
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The negotiations?
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Yes.
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casual.
but still a hug.]
... I bet An-chan would go wild if you had too much space for her anyway. So many adventures to be had.
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She likes to explore the estate as it is. I can't imagine how much she'd enjoy somewhere new. It's why she stays here instead of roaming the temple. [...] ...Antoinette was a welcome gift when I arrived in Japan. She was waiting for me at the second estate...she's been a very good friend ever since she was a puppy.
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