[ . . . and senri will just walk over to where the table is. he'll only move once his face is dry, and he'll move to put a hand over hers where she's arranging nail polish]
... I know.
I'm not mad.
I trust you. Even if you can't do something for me as a god, I know you would've tried as a friend. And... knowing that...
It still stings - but it's not your fault. It just means I have to work harder, with the pieces I already have.
Look at you - you're winning the whole thing. You... You can make a world and work with the other gods and...
[ . . . ]
You're... so close to doing it all....
[he breathes in quietly, and breathes out]
... it's not that I don't want you to win. I... want you to know that. It's just... Sometimes it's a lot of pressure, to be in charge and - you're capable of amazing things, Bambi. Your heart is kind, and you're snappy, and you're so smart.
I just - I want you to be able to live a normal life with friends and people who care about you, even more than I want you to lead. Maybe I'm just... a little late for that.
But - don't think for even a second it's because I don't believe in you.
... then you're saying it yourself. You're... You're prepared.
[ . . . . ]
I guess I'm just... selfishly scared for you. I won't be here anymore after this competition, and I don't want to leave you behind with people you might not get along with at first glance.
... even if you don't - whatever chance that is - I... I want you to know that you'll always serve a purpose. Because you're you, and that's all that you have to be.
[senri sighs softly]
Mm... Okay.... You'll have to make sure you play super nice with Cheri and Beauty after I'm gone - they've taken care of me... They'll take care of you too.
... it's always enough. It... It takes a little while to believe. Because sometimes it's easier to see the mistakes than what you do well.... but as long as you're willing to learn....
[senri huffs out a little laugh at that though]
Did he.... That sounds like the Beauty I know. Can I ask what he did...?
..."as long as you're willing to learn"... that sounds a lot like "you have to want it".
[She really is going to be Ambition forever, isn't she? Always chasing after something new. The question is whether or not he'll actually get it.]
...someone wanted to make a deal with me after the trial. I didn't want to take it. He agreed to be my witness that I actually turned it down, in case... it goes badly and people try to bring it up to get rid of my followers next week.
... it's not a bad thing - to want things, to want to learn. That's how you get better and better everyday. It doesn't mean that anything's wrong with you, but it's alright to want to be more than you are.
[and he'll lean over to kiss the top of her head at that, a soft and encouraging little gesture]
What was the point in having a private audience if he was just going to tell everyone about it anyway...?! [she wipes furiously at her eyes] He's the one who asked to talk to me, you know? And it's not even the first time!
[oh bambi - senri's just going to reach up to gently try to brush away some of the tear tracks with his thumb, because he's helping,,]
He's talked to you a lot...?
I mean - I'm glad, because of course people should talk to you but... I'm a little mad that he'd try to ask you to do something that we don't even know if you can do or not....
He talks to me when he wants something from me. Just like almost everyone else here.
[senri is. helping.]
He tried to make a deal with me last week, too. Only when I told him what the price was, he backed out. And what he was asking for then was less than what he wanted now. There's no way he could have paid the kind of price what he wanted today would have cost, even if it is possible, which I don't even know if it is. I don't know why he even bothered asking me except to rub it in my face that no matter how hard I try I won't be able to give everyone what they want!
Hey, it's okay... Some people are just nervous to talk to gods... Not everyone's like him.
[god senri dislikes yu narukami so much just because of what he's said to bambi - it's lucky that he knows how to play nice even with people he doesn't care for]
Bambi... [the hand at her face reaches up just to smooch her bangs back, to rest on her head so that she has to look at him, keep an even gaze as he speaks softly to her, to try to get her to calm down] It's okay. It's not your fault. None of this - it's not your fault.
We can... We'll make it work. We can find out what you can do, and how much you can do. I know that if you could, you'd give everyone as much as possible... I think Cheri knows a little bit more - he mentioned it to me in the beginning. We can ask Pippin too. Clear up what the rules are, and we'll move forward.
I believe in you, Bambi. Believe in me, too. We'll work together, and try to make as many people happy as we can. It's all we can do.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[she shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut]
It wouldn't work. It wouldn't change anything. I can only give hints, not get around the gods' rules. I see that now.
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... I know.
I'm not mad.
I trust you. Even if you can't do something for me as a god, I know you would've tried as a friend. And... knowing that...
It still stings - but it's not your fault. It just means I have to work harder, with the pieces I already have.
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[Her voice breaks as his hand comes to rest over hers.]
But what if wanting it isn't good enough?
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only to open his arms quietly]
... we can talk about it, Bambi.
What... what purpose do you want to serve? What do you want....?
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[hey dana guess her canonpoint]
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[and he'll
just quietly and slowly bring her into a hug]
You're useful, Bambi.
Look at you - you're winning the whole thing. You... You can make a world and work with the other gods and...
[ . . . ]
You're... so close to doing it all....
[he breathes in quietly, and breathes out]
... it's not that I don't want you to win. I... want you to know that. It's just... Sometimes it's a lot of pressure, to be in charge and - you're capable of amazing things, Bambi. Your heart is kind, and you're snappy, and you're so smart.
I just - I want you to be able to live a normal life with friends and people who care about you, even more than I want you to lead. Maybe I'm just... a little late for that.
But - don't think for even a second it's because I don't believe in you.
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[she clings to him tightly, though]
My life stopped being normal a really long time ago.
But it's the only reason I've been able to do what I have here... I think.
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[ . . . . ]
I guess I'm just... selfishly scared for you. I won't be here anymore after this competition, and I don't want to leave you behind with people you might not get along with at first glance.
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[...]
I've already started getting along a little better with some of the others...
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[senri sighs softly]
Mm... Okay.... You'll have to make sure you play super nice with Cheri and Beauty after I'm gone - they've taken care of me... They'll take care of you too.
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[It probably still isn't now, if you ask most of the people here.]
...Beauty... isn't that bad, I guess. He helped me out today.
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... it's always enough. It... It takes a little while to believe. Because sometimes it's easier to see the mistakes than what you do well.... but as long as you're willing to learn....
[senri huffs out a little laugh at that though]
Did he.... That sounds like the Beauty I know. Can I ask what he did...?
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[She really is going to be Ambition forever, isn't she? Always chasing after something new. The question is whether or not he'll actually get it.]
...someone wanted to make a deal with me after the trial. I didn't want to take it. He agreed to be my witness that I actually turned it down, in case... it goes badly and people try to bring it up to get rid of my followers next week.
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[and he'll lean over to kiss the top of her head at that, a soft and encouraging little gesture]
.... Mm. Was it.. Yu-kun's deal?
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He told you about that?
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... yeah. Yeah, he did. A little bit before I came here...
Are you okay? I'm more worried about you....
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What was the point in having a private audience if he was just going to tell everyone about it anyway...?! [she wipes furiously at her eyes] He's the one who asked to talk to me, you know? And it's not even the first time!
[
yu probably didn't tell senri that. whoops.]
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He's talked to you a lot...?
I mean - I'm glad, because of course people should talk to you but... I'm a little mad that he'd try to ask you to do something that we don't even know if you can do or not....
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[senri is. helping.]
He tried to make a deal with me last week, too. Only when I told him what the price was, he backed out. And what he was asking for then was less than what he wanted now. There's no way he could have paid the kind of price what he wanted today would have cost, even if it is possible, which I don't even know if it is. I don't know why he even bothered asking me except to rub it in my face that no matter how hard I try I won't be able to give everyone what they want!
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Hey, it's okay... Some people are just nervous to talk to gods... Not everyone's like him.
[god senri dislikes yu narukami so much just because of what he's said to bambi - it's lucky that he knows how to play nice even with people he doesn't care for]
Bambi... [the hand at her face reaches up just to smooch her bangs back, to rest on her head so that she has to look at him, keep an even gaze as he speaks softly to her, to try to get her to calm down] It's okay. It's not your fault. None of this - it's not your fault.
We can... We'll make it work. We can find out what you can do, and how much you can do. I know that if you could, you'd give everyone as much as possible... I think Cheri knows a little bit more - he mentioned it to me in the beginning. We can ask Pippin too. Clear up what the rules are, and we'll move forward.
I believe in you, Bambi. Believe in me, too. We'll work together, and try to make as many people happy as we can. It's all we can do.
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ambition just bursts into tears and clings to him again, sorry senri]
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... it's okay. You can cry. I know you're upset, so you can cry.
We'll make it work.
[and he'll just. keep holding her and standing there trying to soothe her until she's calm again]
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he'll be there a while, and might quietly braid her hair so she gets a nice surprise when she's calmer
he'll try again on monday, when she's feeling better]