[for as long as sean stays close, senri will hold onto him. he'll rub his back, run his fingers through his hair, going through every soothing motion that he can hope to for a young boy. he thinks about - what if he was in this situation? what if he wanted comfort and -
the funny thing is that it's yet to be provided, if only because senri hasn't allowed himself to break down in the same way. he has no reference.
he has to be real.]
... you don't have to be human for me to love you, Seanbon. You don't have to be human, to feel the way that you do. It's... It's not that simple. I'm sorry. I wish it was.
But... sometimes people only have what they know. Ogou-san, Guy-san, Sasuke... I think they all come from places, lives a lot more violent than what I know. Sometimes they might default to those things, even if they hurt people. Even if they... they could do something else.
I don't know if that makes it right.
But... sometimes it's what makes them alive, to make mistakes, that they have to grow from too.
I've never questioned the way that you feel about me. All of you have been...amazing. I've felt happier than I've ever known before. But it was different with Entrapta, because it wasn't just that she didn't mind what I was or didn't see me differently, but she...
[He blinks rapidly against Senri's chest.]
She saw me as something incredible. As something beyond my own imagination, unique without being different. And I...I always felt like, even if people accepted about me or cared about me, I was still something incomplete. I couldn't like myself. I hated looking in the mirror. I hated everything about who and what I was and why I was the way that I was.
[Desperately, he looks up at Senri's face.]
This whole time she worked on this for me. She said I didn't need it, but she was so honored that I let her do something that was this important to me. So I could feel...I could see who I'd always known I was on the inside.
[ . . . senri's heart breaks - and he has so many questions. that's been his problem this entire game. this sense of a bleeding heart, the eagerness to forgive everyone. he's not sure where it comes from, when he's entirely aware of how twisted his feelings can be. how cruel he can be, to people that he doesn't care for. newt. luna. there's been no concern for them. even now - as much as he liked entrapta, he didn't like her at all when he found out that she was the one who hurt ray, who took his friend from him.
but.]
She... gave you this... [and he runs his hand through sean's hair again, lets a hand fall on his cheek as his breath stutters] ... Seanbon...
[and senri blinks away his own tears then]
She's right. You never needed this. You were never incomplete. And... I'm sorry - that I never realized that you felt that way, because you've always been perfect the way that you are.
... I'm sorry that you lost a friend like that. We'll have to tell her a thousand thank yous when she comes back - for what she did for you.
[even if it doesn't take away what she did to ray and - senri's heart swirls with uncertainty, with confusion. it doesn't show on his face but sean's question repeats in his ears
Thanks, Senri. Thank you for listening. It's just really hard...when one person that you love is the reason that someone else you love is in a coffin.
[But he finally, properly hugs Senri back.]
I know you've been hurting, too, really badly. I could never be mad at you, and I'll love you no matter what. I just wish things were different. The lab is so empty, now.
[It used to be such a popular place. Now it's just him and Hiro, sometimes. Guy's always being supervised, which makes Connor busy...]
[ . . . . and senri will just hug him closer, quiet for a moment as he lets his face rest in sean's hair. he hums softly.]
... people might need to talk to each other more. I didn't know that she did this for you and - I don't know if Sasuke did either.
It's hard and I don't... I don't want to act like just because everyone will come back at the end means that any of this will be okay. But when they do, we can have a big party in here. I'll invite Taka and Sasuke in here more too, so we can all play together. You should come when we play video games. I think you'd like it.
[ . . . ]
Do you want me to have him talk to you? I think... you might need to see each other, even if it isn't easy. Because he loves you so, so much, Seanbon. Maybe even as much as I do.
I think if he wants to talk to me...he should do it himself. If he doesn't want to face me, that's...his choice.
[But he can't help sounding sad.]
I asked him earlier this week to try and be her friend. It was because of all that she'd done for me. I knew...that she needed them. She needed people to believe in.
[ . . . and senri will just quietly kiss the top of sean's head]
Okay. I'll talk to him. Just... I don't want anything to happen to him, even if he... Just one more week, right Seanbon? Just one more week of difficult things like this.
[ah... he hopes it'll get better.]
... yeah. I thought that too. I'll... have to ask her why she did what she did - but I don't want to hate her either.
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the funny thing is that it's yet to be provided, if only because senri hasn't allowed himself to break down in the same way. he has no reference.
he has to be real.]
... you don't have to be human for me to love you, Seanbon. You don't have to be human, to feel the way that you do. It's... It's not that simple. I'm sorry. I wish it was.
But... sometimes people only have what they know. Ogou-san, Guy-san, Sasuke... I think they all come from places, lives a lot more violent than what I know. Sometimes they might default to those things, even if they hurt people. Even if they... they could do something else.
I don't know if that makes it right.
But... sometimes it's what makes them alive, to make mistakes, that they have to grow from too.
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[Sean goes still.]
I've never questioned the way that you feel about me. All of you have been...amazing. I've felt happier than I've ever known before. But it was different with Entrapta, because it wasn't just that she didn't mind what I was or didn't see me differently, but she...
[He blinks rapidly against Senri's chest.]
She saw me as something incredible. As something beyond my own imagination, unique without being different. And I...I always felt like, even if people accepted about me or cared about me, I was still something incomplete. I couldn't like myself. I hated looking in the mirror. I hated everything about who and what I was and why I was the way that I was.
[Desperately, he looks up at Senri's face.]
This whole time she worked on this for me. She said I didn't need it, but she was so honored that I let her do something that was this important to me. So I could feel...I could see who I'd always known I was on the inside.
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but.]
She... gave you this... [and he runs his hand through sean's hair again, lets a hand fall on his cheek as his breath stutters] ... Seanbon...
[and senri blinks away his own tears then]
She's right. You never needed this. You were never incomplete. And... I'm sorry - that I never realized that you felt that way, because you've always been perfect the way that you are.
... I'm sorry that you lost a friend like that. We'll have to tell her a thousand thank yous when she comes back - for what she did for you.
[even if it doesn't take away what she did to ray and - senri's heart swirls with uncertainty, with confusion. it doesn't show on his face but sean's question repeats in his ears
is this justice?]
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Thanks, Senri. Thank you for listening. It's just really hard...when one person that you love is the reason that someone else you love is in a coffin.
[But he finally, properly hugs Senri back.]
I know you've been hurting, too, really badly. I could never be mad at you, and I'll love you no matter what. I just wish things were different. The lab is so empty, now.
[It used to be such a popular place. Now it's just him and Hiro, sometimes. Guy's always being supervised, which makes Connor busy...]
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... people might need to talk to each other more. I didn't know that she did this for you and - I don't know if Sasuke did either.
It's hard and I don't... I don't want to act like just because everyone will come back at the end means that any of this will be okay. But when they do, we can have a big party in here. I'll invite Taka and Sasuke in here more too, so we can all play together. You should come when we play video games. I think you'd like it.
[ . . . ]
Do you want me to have him talk to you? I think... you might need to see each other, even if it isn't easy. Because he loves you so, so much, Seanbon. Maybe even as much as I do.
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[But he can't help sounding sad.]
I asked him earlier this week to try and be her friend. It was because of all that she'd done for me. I knew...that she needed them. She needed people to believe in.
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Okay. I'll talk to him. Just... I don't want anything to happen to him, even if he... Just one more week, right Seanbon? Just one more week of difficult things like this.
[ah... he hopes it'll get better.]
... yeah. I thought that too. I'll... have to ask her why she did what she did - but I don't want to hate her either.
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[Looking up again, he breaks the hug just to put his hands on Senri's face.]
I don't want anything to happen to him, either. No matter how mad I am...he's the most precious person in the whole world. Tell him I said Rasen.
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Hmm? Is that a secret code? You two are sharing things without me....
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