I figure since we're running down to the wire - we ought to have a chat? I've learned a lot recently and thought it'd help to run some of it by you....
Ahaha, thanks - I've been talking to Ogou-san and he said something about an alliance? Betweeeen you, Cunning, Indulgence, Beauty, and Sincerity? Maybe Dizzy too...?
[ . . . ]
I mean - I like the idea a lot... but I'm a little worried about the others? Justice, Love, Merriment... and I guess I've been torn up this week since I don't want Bambi to feel ganged up on...
[Piety shakes his head.] Don't worry, I understand. I think some wires may have been crossed, actually. Allow me to explain.
[Pausing, he looks back up at the stained glass again.]
From the very start of the competition, I realized that misconceptions were forming based around several of us due to our names. I'd always had an agreeable relationship with Cunning, and because we're on opposite sides of the so-called split between us, I made a deal with him. I knew that he'd agree with my points, and that he wouldn't feel that I was any kind of threat to his desired leadership.
[...]
After what happened with Guy, I came to Ambition and asked her if she'd align with me, as well. My hope is that I can balance out some of her more abrasive traits and help her think more reasonably. She has a good heart, and everything she did, she only did to protect me...because she was worried for my safety, I knew at once I had to help her, too.
[One more pause.]
As for the others, I was approached by Mizuki just recently--ah, this was the first time I'd ever spoken with them--about how I felt about an alliance with Indulgence, Beauty, and Sincerity, since we're all on the same "side" and we all had one follower. I told them that I had no problems with that. I haven't heard anything in the way of Disorder, however.
[He smiles.]
Ultimately, for me, I plan on working closely with the Pantheon, whether or not I come out as the winner, so I've been happy to throw in my aid for whoever will have me. I don't plan on double-crossing or ganging up on any one person.
... Ogou-san said that Passhi said - ah, it's telephone... But Passhi said that if there's an alliance, then no matter which god in the alliance wins, all the followers will profit.
I know what you mean and I trust you. I wouldn't support you if I didn't think that you'd take care of everyone. That's... been my problem the entire game. I like all of you, in different ways. [well. he's working out his relationship with Cunning. but his boyfriend likes him so Cunning can't totally suck?] But Taka wanted me to be sure that if you win, at the end, Love and Merriment will still be taken care of. Sasuke really worries after Justice, too.
[ . . . ]
I think... I can do it. Or I can help do it - I think we can all do it. Enough followers to switch to you, at the very end, because they believe in balance. I know it's late in the game but...
I just wanted to be sure. Taka would be upset with me if I didn't triple-check.
I believe I already told you that before I became a god, I had died on my own world. I think Merriment could sense right away...that even though I always smile, there's been a deep ache inside of me that I haven't been able to shake. He and Justice and I have gravitated toward one another from the very beginning, so it's gone without saying that the three of us have always had one another's support, even if it hasn't been explicitly stated. Love and I aren't particularly close, but naturally I'd never exclude her.
[Piety does pause, however, his smile fading just a touch.]
I should warn you...that even if we're able to achieve an ending like this, where the most gods and followers are benefited, that doesn't necessarily mean that it will be a happy ending.
[senri listens closely, and he nods quietly. he understands, and he has to have faith and believe that's enough.
at piety's last statement, his expression softens]
... of course not.
Happy endings don't exist in nonfiction. Despite my performance last week... this isn't a story. These are real people's experiences, and their lives, and... we haven't found a way for everyone to win, and it sounds dangerous to hope for that when it might not be possible.
[ . . . ]
Do you think there should be something specific that I brace myself for, Pippin? Or do you just mean that not everyone will be happy at the end, even now?
I mean that...everyone's different. Every person has their own way of seeing something, for better or for worse. We were just regular people not so very long ago, so it's reasonable to expect that our reactions may be more human than godly.
[...]
I expect that some of the others will be upset that I made multiple alliances. It'll feel like a betrayal of trust, it'll make any genuine support seem shallow. I'm willing to shoulder these hurt feelings, because I'm going to have the time to reconcile with all of them.
[Piety reaches to take Senri's hands and squeeze them gently.]
You aren't going to have that same time. There may be gods that you've encouraged and supported that find out you're also encouraging people to leave their following and help a different god win, and the greater good won't matter to them. It'll hurt, and you may be leaving this place with that hurt directed at you. Don't forget that none of that invalidates the good that you've done here.
[ . . . and senri looks down at their joined hands and. laughs quietly.]
... if she doesn't listen to me before I go, please remind Bambi that I'm her friend, and I want her to be taken care of. I've always... wanted a world where she can still feel like people like her, and pay attention to her, and listen to her. I know she told me that she's already moved on from her past life but - I want her to just live so that she can make friends, and feel useful. Because she is. She's amazing.
[he thinks that it's impressive - the way that piety really can see into the heart of a person. and senri's shoulders droop as if burdened with a weight]
Because I... I don't know what to do... when she's my friend. When people need me to convince Shang-san to leave her, but I can't. Because I don't want her to lose someone who's stood by her, and believed in her. When everyone's been asking me what I can do about her numbers, and how to make sure she doesn't win.
[Piety's silent for a long moment as he watches Senri. The way his expressions changes as he speaks, and it's clear that Piety seems to be looking much deeper than the surface.]
If that's how you're feeling, may I make a suggestion?
Why wouldn't they? It's the same principle, isn't it? There's no inherent difference between having as many people as possible join my team or any other team.
We have to believe in your worlds, right? Or else the game is forfeit, if it's just for numbers. And the world you end up with won't match the world that Bambi wants, if people don't believe in her.
Ishirin-san... doesn't think she's fit to lead. I don't think Ogou-san or Mizuki-san agree with her either. Taka never thought she'd win. He'd sooner stay with Merriment than join her team.
I won't be able to convince them in time...
If it was just me, and only my wish mattered, I would join Bambi's team, because I believe in her.
You don't have to believe in the world we're going to create, no. You just have to believe in what we stand for. If you believe, in Ambition's case, that good things will come to those who work hard, that's enough.
[...]
I don't think that she's prepared to lead yet. But she's already agreed to let me help. Cunning and Disorder will be supporting her, too, and neither of them is going to let her down, because the three of them love one another.
[He can't help looking a little sad.]
She's grown so much since the beginning of the game. She hasn't had a chance to show many people, because she wasn't trusted from the start. And it isn't just her...each of us is learning. Each of us is growing, little by little, every day because of all of you.
[senri's brow furrows, expression growing more torn, more hurt]
But I don't... I don't have enough time, Pippin. I've been trying for a while - I've been telling everyone how nice Bambi is, and how hard she's working, and... Cheri told me that I can't be expected to change people's minds, and I don't think that I can anymore.
If this was just about how much I love Bambi, I'd shout from the rooftops how much I adore her. But it's not.
Everyone loves their gods. If it wasn't for the numbers, I'd be right back at Cheri's side at the end, because he's done so much for me. But it's because I love Bambi, I love Dizzy, I love Cheri, I love Seanbon, I love Beauty - so much... and Merriment, Love, and Indulgence are my friends.
Balance is the only answer everyone can believe in, where everyone can be taken care of.
[ . . . ]
Bambi might not forgive me - for choosing everyone else's wishes. But I...
As long as you promise to take care of her, and make sure she's happy, even if she never forgives me... I know my choice.
I know what people need me to do, so I... I'll do it.
[he might just struggle with it, the entire way through. his loyalty to his friends was supposed to be the only real part of him that withstood through everything]
Everything will be alright in the end, because each of us now has a better idea of how we'll need to behave in the future. What I'm trying to say, ultimately, is that regardless of who you all choose to support, I don't think it should be me. It's not that I don't want to win, but what I've learned, after talking with everyone, god or otherwise, is that I don't need to.
[He's trying so hard to assuage Senri's fears.]
Before, I thought winning this was the only hope I had of making a difference--of being able to use my skills in mediation to achieve balance among us for the betterment of our world. But now, everyone I've spoken with, everyone who has agreed to align with me, has shown that they're already willing to listen better than they ever had before. If, after all that, I end up winning, what if I lose some of the trust that I've been given, if it seems that instead of providing support I only ever intended to steal it for myself?
[He shakes his head again.]
No...I don't need to win. I'll be with whoever you all choose, whoever you all adore, every step of the way. And I will make sure that they keep their promises to all of you.
[senri falters for a moment longer, before he shakes his head]
... Madopyon and I agree that just about any of you could win, and be a good leader. I could follow anyone, and I would be able to believe in their vision. Because everything you all want is just a different type of good world. I believe in all of you. [especially now that ruin's dead!]
But... I think you need to know that some people believe in you. Switching to you at the end... wasn't my idea. Not because I don't believe in you, but because I still thought that it'd be easier to just pick the god that has the most followers, before we learned that didn't work. But it was Taka, and Ray-kun. They thought that, even if it wasn't easy, no matter what we should try for the god that has the best chance of balancing out all the personalities, and leaving behind the best possible world.
They believe in you. Ishirin-san and Luke-kun, too. Sasuke would even consider leaving Justice, in the case of a tie, because he wants you to win.
[ . . . ]
People have been telling me that they believe in me during this game, and I don't really know why. But hearing you talk... it makes a little more sense to me.
Sometimes... it really does have to be you. Maybe not to make the difference you wanted - but because there are people who have faith in you. I have faith in you.
There are many possible worlds, and all of them are good.
But... people want yours, and no matter what... I want the world where the greatest number of people are happy. That's why I used to lie - because I wanted their smiles more than their honesty.
I think delivering your world, though... is the closest chance that I have to getting both here.
[Piety's smile comes back, even if it seems sadder than it had been before.]
Whatever the case...I'll fully support the choices that everyone decides to make. This week it's more important than ever that everyone thinks very hard about what it is they want to do, for an honest outcome. I'm prepared to act in any capacity that I may be needed to.
... just talk to the people who want to talk to you. I'm sure that they'll see in you what everyone has seen. What I see, and why we're all coming to agree with a balanced world.
[and he offers a smile, and a tilt of his head]
... I figure it's a pretty big burden that we're putting on you, even if it's in the name of faith.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I figure since we're running down to the wire - we ought to have a chat? I've learned a lot recently and thought it'd help to run some of it by you....
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[ . . . ]
I mean - I like the idea a lot... but I'm a little worried about the others? Justice, Love, Merriment... and I guess I've been torn up this week since I don't want Bambi to feel ganged up on...
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[Pausing, he looks back up at the stained glass again.]
From the very start of the competition, I realized that misconceptions were forming based around several of us due to our names. I'd always had an agreeable relationship with Cunning, and because we're on opposite sides of the so-called split between us, I made a deal with him. I knew that he'd agree with my points, and that he wouldn't feel that I was any kind of threat to his desired leadership.
[...]
After what happened with Guy, I came to Ambition and asked her if she'd align with me, as well. My hope is that I can balance out some of her more abrasive traits and help her think more reasonably. She has a good heart, and everything she did, she only did to protect me...because she was worried for my safety, I knew at once I had to help her, too.
[One more pause.]
As for the others, I was approached by Mizuki just recently--ah, this was the first time I'd ever spoken with them--about how I felt about an alliance with Indulgence, Beauty, and Sincerity, since we're all on the same "side" and we all had one follower. I told them that I had no problems with that. I haven't heard anything in the way of Disorder, however.
[He smiles.]
Ultimately, for me, I plan on working closely with the Pantheon, whether or not I come out as the winner, so I've been happy to throw in my aid for whoever will have me. I don't plan on double-crossing or ganging up on any one person.
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... Ogou-san said that Passhi said - ah, it's telephone... But Passhi said that if there's an alliance, then no matter which god in the alliance wins, all the followers will profit.
I know what you mean and I trust you. I wouldn't support you if I didn't think that you'd take care of everyone. That's... been my problem the entire game. I like all of you, in different ways. [well. he's working out his relationship with Cunning. but his boyfriend likes him so Cunning can't totally suck?] But Taka wanted me to be sure that if you win, at the end, Love and Merriment will still be taken care of. Sasuke really worries after Justice, too.
[ . . . ]
I think... I can do it. Or I can help do it - I think we can all do it. Enough followers to switch to you, at the very end, because they believe in balance. I know it's late in the game but...
I just wanted to be sure. Taka would be upset with me if I didn't triple-check.
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[Piety does pause, however, his smile fading just a touch.]
I should warn you...that even if we're able to achieve an ending like this, where the most gods and followers are benefited, that doesn't necessarily mean that it will be a happy ending.
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at piety's last statement, his expression softens]
... of course not.
Happy endings don't exist in nonfiction. Despite my performance last week... this isn't a story. These are real people's experiences, and their lives, and... we haven't found a way for everyone to win, and it sounds dangerous to hope for that when it might not be possible.
[ . . . ]
Do you think there should be something specific that I brace myself for, Pippin? Or do you just mean that not everyone will be happy at the end, even now?
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[...]
I expect that some of the others will be upset that I made multiple alliances. It'll feel like a betrayal of trust, it'll make any genuine support seem shallow. I'm willing to shoulder these hurt feelings, because I'm going to have the time to reconcile with all of them.
[Piety reaches to take Senri's hands and squeeze them gently.]
You aren't going to have that same time. There may be gods that you've encouraged and supported that find out you're also encouraging people to leave their following and help a different god win, and the greater good won't matter to them. It'll hurt, and you may be leaving this place with that hurt directed at you. Don't forget that none of that invalidates the good that you've done here.
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... if she doesn't listen to me before I go, please remind Bambi that I'm her friend, and I want her to be taken care of. I've always... wanted a world where she can still feel like people like her, and pay attention to her, and listen to her. I know she told me that she's already moved on from her past life but - I want her to just live so that she can make friends, and feel useful. Because she is. She's amazing.
[he thinks that it's impressive - the way that piety really can see into the heart of a person. and senri's shoulders droop as if burdened with a weight]
Because I... I don't know what to do... when she's my friend. When people need me to convince Shang-san to leave her, but I can't. Because I don't want her to lose someone who's stood by her, and believed in her. When everyone's been asking me what I can do about her numbers, and how to make sure she doesn't win.
Even though I don't think that'd be so bad...
[and it's suddenly so very hard
to choose]
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If that's how you're feeling, may I make a suggestion?
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If there's something that you think I can do...
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and senri
falters]
... I can't. Pippin, you know I can't...
Ishirin-san, Taka, Ogou-san, Mizuki-san... They can't get their wishes like that.
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We have to believe in your worlds, right? Or else the game is forfeit, if it's just for numbers. And the world you end up with won't match the world that Bambi wants, if people don't believe in her.
Ishirin-san... doesn't think she's fit to lead. I don't think Ogou-san or Mizuki-san agree with her either. Taka never thought she'd win. He'd sooner stay with Merriment than join her team.
I won't be able to convince them in time...
If it was just me, and only my wish mattered, I would join Bambi's team, because I believe in her.
But I can't leave everyone else behind like that.
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You don't have to believe in the world we're going to create, no. You just have to believe in what we stand for. If you believe, in Ambition's case, that good things will come to those who work hard, that's enough.
[...]
I don't think that she's prepared to lead yet. But she's already agreed to let me help. Cunning and Disorder will be supporting her, too, and neither of them is going to let her down, because the three of them love one another.
[He can't help looking a little sad.]
She's grown so much since the beginning of the game. She hasn't had a chance to show many people, because she wasn't trusted from the start. And it isn't just her...each of us is learning. Each of us is growing, little by little, every day because of all of you.
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[senri's brow furrows, expression growing more torn, more hurt]
But I don't... I don't have enough time, Pippin. I've been trying for a while - I've been telling everyone how nice Bambi is, and how hard she's working, and... Cheri told me that I can't be expected to change people's minds, and I don't think that I can anymore.
If this was just about how much I love Bambi, I'd shout from the rooftops how much I adore her. But it's not.
Everyone loves their gods. If it wasn't for the numbers, I'd be right back at Cheri's side at the end, because he's done so much for me. But it's because I love Bambi, I love Dizzy, I love Cheri, I love Seanbon, I love Beauty - so much... and Merriment, Love, and Indulgence are my friends.
Balance is the only answer everyone can believe in, where everyone can be taken care of.
[ . . . ]
Bambi might not forgive me - for choosing everyone else's wishes. But I...
As long as you promise to take care of her, and make sure she's happy, even if she never forgives me... I know my choice.
I know what people need me to do, so I... I'll do it.
[he might just struggle with it, the entire way through. his loyalty to his friends was supposed to be the only real part of him that withstood through everything]
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[He looks sympathetic.]
Everything will be alright in the end, because each of us now has a better idea of how we'll need to behave in the future. What I'm trying to say, ultimately, is that regardless of who you all choose to support, I don't think it should be me. It's not that I don't want to win, but what I've learned, after talking with everyone, god or otherwise, is that I don't need to.
[He's trying so hard to assuage Senri's fears.]
Before, I thought winning this was the only hope I had of making a difference--of being able to use my skills in mediation to achieve balance among us for the betterment of our world. But now, everyone I've spoken with, everyone who has agreed to align with me, has shown that they're already willing to listen better than they ever had before. If, after all that, I end up winning, what if I lose some of the trust that I've been given, if it seems that instead of providing support I only ever intended to steal it for myself?
[He shakes his head again.]
No...I don't need to win. I'll be with whoever you all choose, whoever you all adore, every step of the way. And I will make sure that they keep their promises to all of you.
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[senri falters for a moment longer, before he shakes his head]
... Madopyon and I agree that just about any of you could win, and be a good leader. I could follow anyone, and I would be able to believe in their vision. Because everything you all want is just a different type of good world. I believe in all of you. [especially now that ruin's dead!]
But... I think you need to know that some people believe in you. Switching to you at the end... wasn't my idea. Not because I don't believe in you, but because I still thought that it'd be easier to just pick the god that has the most followers, before we learned that didn't work. But it was Taka, and Ray-kun. They thought that, even if it wasn't easy, no matter what we should try for the god that has the best chance of balancing out all the personalities, and leaving behind the best possible world.
They believe in you. Ishirin-san and Luke-kun, too. Sasuke would even consider leaving Justice, in the case of a tie, because he wants you to win.
[ . . . ]
People have been telling me that they believe in me during this game, and I don't really know why. But hearing you talk... it makes a little more sense to me.
Sometimes... it really does have to be you. Maybe not to make the difference you wanted - but because there are people who have faith in you. I have faith in you.
There are many possible worlds, and all of them are good.
But... people want yours, and no matter what... I want the world where the greatest number of people are happy. That's why I used to lie - because I wanted their smiles more than their honesty.
I think delivering your world, though... is the closest chance that I have to getting both here.
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Whatever the case...I'll fully support the choices that everyone decides to make. This week it's more important than ever that everyone thinks very hard about what it is they want to do, for an honest outcome. I'm prepared to act in any capacity that I may be needed to.
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[and he offers a smile, and a tilt of his head]
... I figure it's a pretty big burden that we're putting on you, even if it's in the name of faith.
Thank you, for taking care of it.
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... "Made"...?
I'm sure you were made for a lot more than that...
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[senri tilts his head]
I know that we've mostly talked about the game, or that time with Sasuke... but I'd like to get to know you better as a friend, too.
Sorry that I'm a little late - but if you're interested...
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