.... I know. I'm going to talk to Dizzy and see how it'll work - there are some people that I don't trust that their wishes wouldn't be overall bad for people, you know? Like Newt - I have no idea what that guy wanted, and to be honest, I don't really care to find out.
[and senri will just eat a little bit more of his waffle then, growing quiet]
.... sorry.
You probably don't like it when I say rude things like that. It's kinda ugly, huh.
Even if it's ugly, it's honest. And it's what we agreed on, isn't it? [He's chewing quietly.] I don't know if I can find any part of you ugly, really. It's alright if you feel that way.
[ . . . . it's really unfortunate, how that manages to make something twist in senri's chest. he glances away briefly, and reaches out with his free hand to pet antoinette]
... it doesn't feel right to say in front of you.
[because tamaki is always so much better than senri ever is, infinitely kinder and more considerate....
[ . . . and senri just sighs. he places his fork down and seems to think about a way to phrase it. he adjusts how he sits on the bed, pulling one knee up to his chest as he rests his chin on it and thinks]
... Mizuki-san cares about you a lot. It makes me really happy. I've been really grateful, that they've been able to stay with you the entire game while I couldn't.
[ . . . ]
A kiss on the forehead is nothing. You do that to me all the time - [well, maybe it's not nothing. it seems to only hit senri in that second that that's a possibility as he pauses.]
... anyway, it's not really my place to be bothered by that. And I don't know if I'm bothered so much as... I was the one who said 'whoever gets to have you'....
It did remind me that things just aren't going to work out between us - which... I knew... but...
[Oh. That's not what he expected at all and he goes quiet as he listens to Senri. A kiss on the forehead maybe doesn't mean anything from Mizuki, or maybe it does, he doesn't actually know now, but it's strange to think Senri would be bothered by such a thing when he has Taka.
...then again...]
...another life, Senri. [It's what he says first.] It's harder to think about this one when we know what the possibility could be, I guess. Anyway you know Mizuki-san is perfectly happy with Majima-san. [...] ...I'm afraid to say it but I don't anticipate those feelings leaving for quite some time.
.... I'm sorry, that's why I didn't want to say anything. We... can't do anything as things are now.... but I didn't want you to think that I was mad at you for something that I wasn't. It's just...
Me being dumb and reckless, I guess...
[and he shakes his head]
... I want you to be happy more than anything else.
No, it's alright. I'd rather it be said than not because I don't want to actually upset you about anything else.
...I'm happy, you know. It's possible for someone to be happy and sad at the same time, but I am happy. I'm happy because you've come to see me, I'm happy that you saved me, and I'm happy that we've met. Why wouldn't I be?
... anything you do - I could never stay mad at you anyway.
[if he's being entirely honest, and he gives tamaki a soft smile, even though it doesn't manage to reach his eyes. there's still something sad lingering]
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[and senri will just eat a little bit more of his waffle then, growing quiet]
.... sorry.
You probably don't like it when I say rude things like that. It's kinda ugly, huh.
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... it doesn't feel right to say in front of you.
[because tamaki is always so much better than senri ever is, infinitely kinder and more considerate....
he falls quiet for a second]
... sorry I left so abruptly yesterday.
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...it's alright. I understand that what I did was cruel and unfair to you. [You know. Turning him into stone.] It was also a busy day.
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[senri's surprised enough that he turns right back to tamaki]
I wasn't mad at that. I knew you didn't mean it, and you'd never hurt me.
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[ . . . senri pauses then, and decides to strategically scoop some egg onto his fork to take a bite of it so he can pause]
... it's nothing... I think it's dumb.
I shouldn't have been bothered - so I'm apologizing, because it was rude of me to leave you there.
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Senri. Honesty, remember? [Bitch, don't you dare.]
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senri pauses - and pouts]
... it's not a fair thing to say....
And you aren't allowed to give me an answer that won't hurt you - so I don't want to mention it.
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... Mizuki-san cares about you a lot. It makes me really happy. I've been really grateful, that they've been able to stay with you the entire game while I couldn't.
[ . . . ]
A kiss on the forehead is nothing. You do that to me all the time - [well, maybe it's not nothing. it seems to only hit senri in that second that that's a possibility as he pauses.]
... anyway, it's not really my place to be bothered by that. And I don't know if I'm bothered so much as... I was the one who said 'whoever gets to have you'....
It did remind me that things just aren't going to work out between us - which... I knew... but...
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...then again...]
...another life, Senri. [It's what he says first.] It's harder to think about this one when we know what the possibility could be, I guess. Anyway you know Mizuki-san is perfectly happy with Majima-san. [...] ...I'm afraid to say it but I don't anticipate those feelings leaving for quite some time.
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Me being dumb and reckless, I guess...
[and he shakes his head]
... I want you to be happy more than anything else.
No matter what that looks like.
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...I'm happy, you know. It's possible for someone to be happy and sad at the same time, but I am happy. I'm happy because you've come to see me, I'm happy that you saved me, and I'm happy that we've met. Why wouldn't I be?
Admittedly...I dread tomorrow a bit.
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[if he's being entirely honest, and he gives tamaki a soft smile, even though it doesn't manage to reach his eyes. there's still something sad lingering]
... is there anything I can do to make it easier?
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...and you didn't forget about me. That helps as well.