GODLY AUDIENCES: RAY

[divus]

Comments

[divus]

Then I suppose you have your answer.

[selfimmolates]

What happened? Did he confess to you and you turned him down, or what?

[divus]

No. It was simply a misunderstanding and now things have changed. [Still vague.] Last week was very busy for him.

[selfimmolates]

[ray just stares because he's not any less concerned??]

[divus]

...please don't doubt the fact that I care for him and want his wish to come true. There were simply unexpected factors along the way.

[selfimmolates]

I don't doubt that—I just want to know why he's apparently sad now!

[divus]

[There's a brief moment before Beauty sighs again.]

Poor timing, truthfully. That's all.

[selfimmolates]

[he just flops onto the table (avoiding the drinks, thanks).]

That doesn't tell me anything...

[divus]

...Ray-kun. Can you tell me why you wish to know? I just want to understand.

[selfimmolates]

... Because from what I know, Senri is the kind of person who'd rather hide any meaningful sadness and keep up the shallow pretense, so there's no way he'll admit to anything on his own.

But given everything else that's already weighing him down, I don't want that for him.

[is ray being a giant hypocrite? yes. but shhh.]

[divus]

[...] You care for him. [That's really sweet though.] You have to consider there are those of us who wish to see other people be happy and we keep our sorrows to ourselves. It's not out of selfishness or ill will, but rather out of wanting to care for other people.

["Us" of course seems to imply himself and Senri both, and maybe that answers some things.]

...as I've said, it was a misunderstanding first on my part, and then on his. But I believe he'll find happiness even among the sadness.

[...] Has it occurred to you that you'll be leaving us soon?

[selfimmolates]

Trust me, I've considered that. Have you considered what it's like to be on the other side of that?

[...]

Yes.

[divus]

...yes. I've considered that, and I think Senri has as well.

[There's a lingering pause.] There is happiness in being around someone, and sadness in knowing you can't keep them forever. And though it's sad, focusing on happiness seems more effective in this place.

[selfimmolates]

Tell me that's a hint as to what happened, because otherwise, I hope you realize you're talking to someone who grew up watching the people around them die?

[divus]

I know who I'm talking to and yes it's a hint to what's happened. [Now he just sounds a little annoyed.] And it's for that reason I think it's selfish to explain something so...

[...meaningless isn't the right word, but people are dead and Beauty's not sure how to explain things are messed up emotionally.] There are bigger problems here. Senri will be alright because he has someone to rely on. And he has you even if you won't tell him so yourself.

[selfimmolates]

[...]

If you say so.

[divus]

[...]

Sometimes, especially in situations such as these, you develop feelings for people you didn't expect. Wouldn't you say it's the same for you and people like Senri? I hardly think you expected to be friends with him when you first met. Or Zoe-chan. Or any of the others you've met.

[selfimmolates]

Knowing that none of this will last is also why I preferred not complicating things.

[with actual attachments, damn it.]

But I've never fooled myself into thinking we wouldn't part ways.

[divus]

Foolishly, I let myself forget that part. This week, however, was a reminder of that.

It's also a reminder though that time is precious and we should take advantage of the time we have here. But there are factors that make doing so a little more complex than you'd imagine.

...you haven't asked Senri any of this, have you?

[selfimmolates]

No.

[divus]

[...there's a moment when Beauty pauses and sighs, reaching up to test his mask before finding it comes off in his hand. He sets it aside on the table, hood coming down and allowing him to fully face Ray.]

Then why come to me to ask first?

[selfimmolates]

[well okay, he wasn't expecting that, especially after annoying beauty.]

... Um, I actually just came to see if you were in danger of losing followers.

[divus]

[Without the mask, it's also easier to see it's solely so Ray can see his expression which is bordering on frustrated and also kind of sad, so.]

Which is precisely why I'm wondering why you've persisted this line of thought. [It's a reminder that Ray went really off track and Beauty doesn't think it's wise to spill Senri's secrets.] Mizuki-san and I will be fine, I've lost faith in my other follower though I may contact them myself to see why, precisely, they've avoided doing so for so long, and...I'll start the recruitment process again. While the roses Senri delivered were effective, most of you were too attached to your previous gods.

[selfimmolates]

[...]

All right then.

[divus]

[...there's only a few moments and he sort of just crumbles instead.]

My apologies. You'll have to forgive me for being so callous about such a delicate topic, but I do feel that my relationship with Senri is...complicated enough it may be a distraction.