GODLY AUDIENCES: RAY

[divus]

Comments

WEEK 4, MONDAY

[divus]

[This time in the parlor there's no set-up for tea or snacks or anything. It's just Beauty seated at the window and staring down into the courtyard. His mask is back in place and when Ray enters he'll notice the flowers are on the piano in a vase.]

Good morning, Ray-kun. [Quiet and polite, but also a little guarded. Are you here to yell at him, small child?]

[selfimmolates]

[ray is definitely staying by the doorway in case beauty decides to shank him. in any case, somewhere in the midst of continuing to privately unravel without his emotional crutch(es) around, he figured he might as well. deal with beauty first.]

I'm... sorry. I don't really take back what I said, but I shouldn't have pushed you when you were also in a shitty mood.

[this is about as good of an apology as you can generally expect from ray.]

... That's all. I don't need anything.

[divus]

[Beauty doesn't plan on moving. He seems sort of resigned actually]

...alright. Thank you for the apology. [...] You spoke to him?

[selfimmolates]

... Well, yeah. I was always planning on it.

[divus]

What precisely has he told you...?

[selfimmolates]

Pretty much the same thing you said, and that he didn't want anyone treating you differently. And that he had Takaomi, which was the important part, really.

[divus]

[His shoulders relax just a bit when Ray mentions Takaomi.]

He's been honest...that's good. [Thank god.] ...in another time, I suppose Senri and I could have been happy together, but misunderstandings made it complicated. When this is all over, he'll go home with Shishimaru-kun and that's, perhaps, the best thing for him.

[If you love something let it go, etc etc.] That doesn't change how I feel about him or this game or any of you.

[selfimmolates]

... What, so my guess that confessions were involved wasn't so far off after all?

[divus]

[A laugh, but.] A little too late, but perhaps you weren't far off after all.

[selfimmolates]

... Right. Well, anyway... that's it for me.

[this is still awkward.]

[divus]

There was a reason I never said what it was. [He can sense the awkwardness, thanks.] But I'm glad you found your answer.

[selfimmolates]

[i mean, it's mostly awkward because he's standing here wondering how mad at him beauty is??]

Mm-hmm.

[divus]

[He's still talking?? He's not mad?? Ray please.]

...it wasn't fair of me to be upset with your line of questioning either, but it wasn't my place to share his secrets. I had a feeling he hadn't told many people about Shishimaru-kun, so it wasn't the time to answer such things.

[selfimmolates]

[you can be mad and still be talking to someone???]

... You know, I think I'll just stay single for the rest of my life. All of you make this seem pointlessly messy.

[divus]

It's only messy when people don't communicate. [Because he's had this happen a few times, truthfully.] But at the same time, it can be wonderful. You may change your mind someday.

[selfimmolates]

And that's why I said communication was important... but I doubt it.

[namely because 1) zero options anyway and 2) trying very hard to close yourself off since you were a baby does not do wonders for your capacity for romantic feelings. also 3): ]

Not like I'd have time for it even if I wanted it, at any rate.

[divus]

Truthfully, I wasn't sure if it should be a serious consideration when he's very attached to other people. [But Beauty didn't ask either.]

...do you suppose you have time to at least care about other people?

[selfimmolates]

No, I just picked Love for fun.

[divus]

Then there's also time to care about people at a higher capacity. [Just pointing that out.] Then again, you're a bit young for this. But in the future.

[selfimmolates]

That's assuming I manage to make a future happen, but sure.

[divus]

Do you really doubt that?

[selfimmolates]

No. I'll make it happen, one way or another.

I just don't know how many years it'll take.

[divus]

The future is an endless thing, Ray-kun. Even when you reach that point, it continues to change.

But you're determined enough that this isn't surprising to hear.

[selfimmolates]

Would any of us be in this competition if we weren't determined enough for something?

[divus]

You would be surprised how sometimes determination wavers when the stakes change. I cannot fault anyone for how they feel during this competition, but it's changed things.