[She turns on the heat before turning to look at him.]
Everyone processes these things differently. You don't need to put yourself down; we may be in the middle of a contest but that doesn't mean that suffering is being contested, as well.
[Nodding, he walks over to the cabinet and opens it.
These days, it's hard to figure out how he should approach the other gods. They know the truth, so is there a point in sugarcoating this?]
But . . . I really don't feel anything. In a contest like this where death isn't permanent and all that's at stake are our wishes, there's an awful lot of emphasis on morality among the participants. I'm not interested in any of that.
[In so many ways, he feels like an outsider looking in.]
[Please, don't get too close! He's never spoken to you before, so you still fall under the category of terrifyingly intimidating!]
Great Disorder, don't get me wrong. Whether death is lasting or transient, I still want to avoid the experience of dying a second time.
It's just, I accepted the invitation to participate in this contest for a chance to see my wish fulfilled. Contributing to the creation of a new world is an enormous task beyond someone as lowly as me. Next to my fellow participants, I'm really just a simple-minded fool.
[Blinking, he looks up from the cabinet. It's hard to focus on choosing a flavor when she's right there and he's running his mouth to such an extent that he might regret this later.]
It's really an awful shame what happened to Fortune--I know you really liked her, and your defection was part of Ambition's plan...I was surprised you ended up choosing her after all. Piety seemed like a good choice for you, as well.
[Disorder sighs sadly.]
But it's been working out well for you for awhile, hasn't it? Because if what you said is true, and you want your wish most of all, then who you like or agree with the most...it's really irrelevant, in the end. Ambition had a solid lead for a few weeks.
[He likes Piety. Unfortunately, Ambition had the bigger bark at the time, so he lacked the courage to leave. For someone like Piety, he has a feeling that he would have defected at the drop of a hat if it were convenient for him . . . Maybe it's better that things turned out this way.
If only Ambition were as soft and inviting as Piety!]
It's irrelevant, but it also works out this way. Great Ambition's ideals aren't foreign to me. I believe hard work and initiative should be rewarded. I guess . . . all things considered, I've been really lucky.
[Maybe starting out with Fortune boosted his luck stat!]
[Even in such a tense situation, he still has his appetite. With a backwards glance, he grabs the nearest flavor of tea, shuts the cabinet, and rises.]
Well, you heard all about Guy and what happened there, don't you? I'm pretty sure he came clean after Estelle sacrificed herself. After that, even if people are willing to forgive her, they certainly aren't going to trust her.
You'd think. I'm not sure how many people here haven't turned on those they started off closest to. Or how many people stayed with who they started with...or came back like they promised.
[She shakes her head.]
I know Ambition really well. She's tough, but she's prone to cracking under pressure, too.
[She sure is! He hasn't forgotten her stint as a crybaby when Cunning was near the chopping block. After a display like that, her cracking under pressure is bound to be like an earthquake with a magnitude of 8.0.]
What about you? As of now, where do you see yourself in all of this?
[The kettle starts to whistle, so she gets up to grab it, turning off the stove.]
I haven't done well for myself this competition...but I've kept myself in it this long, as steadily as I can. I'd say that if I just had the right support, I could be considered a bit of a hopeful underdog.
Oh, I've had ideas...but at this point in the game, beggars can't be choosers. Someone with an open mind, and with aspirations. Someone who can listen.
[There's a lot of participants with an open mind, and all of them have aspirations. Not many of them are good at listening. Disorder, this doesn't look good!]
It would be good if someone like that were to come your way. Even though it took me this long to ask for an audience, you were gracious enough to take me in without question. Your ideal world isn't bad at all, either.
[Not that it MATTERS since he still GOES BACK TO AMBITION.]
It's too bad for me, nobody cares about the ideal world of someone named disorder. No matter how much I say what it is I want, I seem to just give off the impression that I'm lying.
[His heart swells with sympathy for Disorder. Yeah, this sucks!]
Systems that choose for you without regard for the consequences are really unjust. Even though I am the creator of my own world, I was stuck inside the body of this shady villain, whose fate is to die a premature death. So I understand your plight. Great Disorder, the connotation of your name has no bearing on this one!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[She points at one.]
If you'd like to pick one out.
[She turns on the heat before turning to look at him.]
Everyone processes these things differently. You don't need to put yourself down; we may be in the middle of a contest but that doesn't mean that suffering is being contested, as well.
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These days, it's hard to figure out how he should approach the other gods. They know the truth, so is there a point in sugarcoating this?]
But . . . I really don't feel anything. In a contest like this where death isn't permanent and all that's at stake are our wishes, there's an awful lot of emphasis on morality among the participants. I'm not interested in any of that.
[In so many ways, he feels like an outsider looking in.]
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[She stops and comes closer, her hands folding behind her back.]
What are you interested in, then? I'd like to know.
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Great Disorder, don't get me wrong. Whether death is lasting or transient, I still want to avoid the experience of dying a second time.
It's just, I accepted the invitation to participate in this contest for a chance to see my wish fulfilled. Contributing to the creation of a new world is an enormous task beyond someone as lowly as me. Next to my fellow participants, I'm really just a simple-minded fool.
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I don't see you that way at all. Actually, you've been very clever.
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Huh?
[Blinking, he looks up from the cabinet. It's hard to focus on choosing a flavor when she's right there and he's running his mouth to such an extent that he might regret this later.]
I don't . . .
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[Disorder sighs sadly.]
But it's been working out well for you for awhile, hasn't it? Because if what you said is true, and you want your wish most of all, then who you like or agree with the most...it's really irrelevant, in the end. Ambition had a solid lead for a few weeks.
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If only Ambition were as soft and inviting as Piety!]
It's irrelevant, but it also works out this way. Great Ambition's ideals aren't foreign to me. I believe hard work and initiative should be rewarded. I guess . . . all things considered, I've been really lucky.
[Maybe starting out with Fortune boosted his luck stat!]
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[But anyway, she takes a seat in one of the stools, crossing her legs casually.]
It's too bad that she's not going to win. I feel really bad for her, after all the work she's done on her followers.
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Why do you say that . . . ?
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Well, you heard all about Guy and what happened there, don't you? I'm pretty sure he came clean after Estelle sacrificed herself. After that, even if people are willing to forgive her, they certainly aren't going to trust her.
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She's gossiping. Is that what this is? This kind of talk, she means to turn him around with doubt.]
Some aren't. There are just as many of us, though, who are prone to trusting others.
[His tone is neutral, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Disorder, because he does see her point. And it worries him.]
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[She shakes her head.]
I know Ambition really well. She's tough, but she's prone to cracking under pressure, too.
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What about you? As of now, where do you see yourself in all of this?
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[The kettle starts to whistle, so she gets up to grab it, turning off the stove.]
I haven't done well for myself this competition...but I've kept myself in it this long, as steadily as I can. I'd say that if I just had the right support, I could be considered a bit of a hopeful underdog.
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It would be good if someone like that were to come your way. Even though it took me this long to ask for an audience, you were gracious enough to take me in without question. Your ideal world isn't bad at all, either.
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[Not that it MATTERS since he still GOES BACK TO AMBITION.]
It's too bad for me, nobody cares about the ideal world of someone named disorder. No matter how much I say what it is I want, I seem to just give off the impression that I'm lying.
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If that's the case, why use disorder in the first place? Couldn't you have called yourself by another name?
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[Ugh...]
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Systems that choose for you without regard for the consequences are really unjust. Even though I am the creator of my own world, I was stuck inside the body of this shady villain, whose fate is to die a premature death. So I understand your plight. Great Disorder, the connotation of your name has no bearing on this one!
[Nobody cares.]
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[But he probably doesn't want that so, blessing in disguise.]