One of them hit me with something. A power. I... [A pause, as he has to stop and take in a breath because BOY HIS VOICE JUST CRACKED.]... it didn't stop me from killing her outright, but...
Everyone's been assuming I was just really close with her. [A laugh, broken.] I only talked to her twice. I hardly knew her, and yet all I can think about is how I failed her and how I need to make things right by her somehow, even though I know.
It makes me want to chew off my own damn tongue, because there's nothing I can do to stop it. And if I'm like this tomorrow...
[Ambition makes an aggravated noise in the back of her throat. That just figured - she'd known that Hopelessly Devoted had been used, of course, but some small part of her had been hoping it wasn't on him.]
Unfortunately, there isn't anything I can do about that. Love's the one who could lessen the effects of her power, but she's not going to be too happy about getting a request from either one of us.
look how MUCH OF A MESS HE IS i can't wait for him to get caught five seconds into trial
But I'm not going to her. Not until the end of trial. She... [hrk.] She did this because she wanted to live, and I-- [THE WAVE OF REGRET THAT IS BOTH HIS AND ALSO ISN'T IS SO BAD AND HE WANTS TO JUST SIT IN A HOLE SOMEWHERE UNTIL IT GOES AWAY SO HE CAN FOCUS ON NOT GETTING CAUGHT?????]
-- I can't do that to Love, and it's not going to help Zoe to make her god upset.
The most I can do is hope that there's something else to keep my attention, and just... try to watch what the hell I'm saying. As much as I can, anyway.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[She promised, so she'll do it.]
You have to make it through this. Luke will be devastated if you get executed, you know.
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I tried as hard as I could. But...
One of them hit me with something. A power. I... [A pause, as he has to stop and take in a breath because BOY HIS VOICE JUST CRACKED.]... it didn't stop me from killing her outright, but...
Everyone's been assuming I was just really close with her. [A laugh, broken.] I only talked to her twice. I hardly knew her, and yet all I can think about is how I failed her and how I need to make things right by her somehow, even though I know.
It makes me want to chew off my own damn tongue, because there's nothing I can do to stop it. And if I'm like this tomorrow...
[He's basically fucked??????]
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Unfortunately, there isn't anything I can do about that. Love's the one who could lessen the effects of her power, but she's not going to be too happy about getting a request from either one of us.
look how MUCH OF A MESS HE IS i can't wait for him to get caught five seconds into trial
But I'm not going to her. Not until the end of trial. She... [hrk.] She did this because she wanted to live, and I-- [THE WAVE OF REGRET THAT IS BOTH HIS AND ALSO ISN'T IS SO BAD AND HE WANTS TO JUST SIT IN A HOLE SOMEWHERE UNTIL IT GOES AWAY SO HE CAN FOCUS ON NOT GETTING CAUGHT?????]
-- I can't do that to Love, and it's not going to help Zoe to make her god upset.
well.
[Oh, yikes. This is bad.]
She made you fixated on that...?
now that trial is over, hello
I can grit my way through it if the conversation turns the right way, but the second the topic turns back around, it's like I'm not myself anymore.
hELLO
Ugh... I don't want you to get caught. That's not going to help Luke, or Piety, or Cunning...
[Think, Ambition. How can this be salvaged? ...she can't think of anything.]
this just makes that conversation they had .5 seconds before luke went kaboom like 90000 times worse
The most I can do is hope that there's something else to keep my attention, and just... try to watch what the hell I'm saying. As much as I can, anyway.
hahaha yep
[she looks down at her feet]
...if it goes wrong, I'm... I'm sorry. I just wanted to help, and I didn't know how...
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If it goes wrong... we'll all just have to learn from that mistake, then.
Let's just hope at least some of us are around to learn from it.
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[that kind of thinking is exactly what got them into this situation]