GODLY AUDIENCES - TAKAOMI SHISHIMARU

[divus]

Comments

[bakaomi]

... this is why emotions are so dumb. I know you're right. Everything you're saying makes sense, and I knew before I came here.

[ he covers his face with his hands ]

But my heart still hurts anyway.

[divus]

[Ow? Ow. For a minute Merriment seems to be stunned into silence.]

...I know. I know, that's--that's what's unfair about this game, you know? This shouldn't be your responsibility but with that power it kind of feels like it is.

[There's another pause.] If there's anybody who should be at fault here, it's me, not you. Okay? It's a scary thing to come across when you least expect it, and even worse when something like today happens.

[bakaomi]

[ he glances at him, quiet for a second ]

How can you handle it?

[divus]

Which part? [That's an interesting question, but willing to answer anyway.]

[bakaomi]

The responsibility. Knowing that you can't predict how we're going to act in this game, but knowing you had a hand in it anyway.

... guilt.

[divus]

...old age? [It's sort of a joke but sort of not.] It's...harder than it looks. I think all of us except for maybe Ruin are capable of feeling some amount of guilt. But for me it's about knowing there's something more important to focus on than letting guilt get to me. And that's protecting you while you're here and under my watch.

[...] I messed up in my old life, too. I'm not allowing that to happen here, and that's how I can handle it. Having something to fight for and making sure you and the others that've come to me will make it out of here alive.

[bakaomi]

[ he could mention that merriment really does not sound that old, but people already have weird ages here anyway ]

... mm. You're kind of cool.

[ it's muttered ]

[divus]

[Thank you for being understanding of the old man, Taka. There's a light laugh because that's probably as good a compliment as any.]

I'm okay with kind of. [Part of him is debating if he should leave Taka alone, and the other part is like "this kid has been very traumatized and probably could use a hug." In the end, a hand comes up for a comforting squeeze to his shoulder that Taka can make whatever he wants of it.]

...I'm not going to lie to you and say everything's gonna be alright because I don't really know. But I'm gonna try to make it alright. And I know you will, too. [...] Are you going to try again with that power?

[bakaomi]

[ he doesn't shake the hand off or anything, which is a big jump from how he would have reacted if the same gesture was offered last week. week 2 has been a thing. ]

... I dunno. Probably.

[ he's been thinking about it. ]

I don't want to... see something like that again, but there's a chance I might be able to find something that could help.

[divus]

[Progress!]

...it's your call. But I think there might be something coming that'll help you if you can trust it. [Or someone, since Senri apparently told Taka in another thread but Merriment can't say so thanks to #godrules.] You just have to work together.

[bakaomi]

... hm.

[ he'll consider that. ]

Can I ask you something?

[ he knows he can, but he doesn't just want to leap right into a question that's off topic ]

[divus]

[It's enough for Merriment to turn his head and look at him.]

Sure. What is it?

[bakaomi]

... I have two, actually.

Want to hear the one that might be easier for you to answer or the other one?

[divus]

...okay. We can go in that order. [Taka should he be concerned??]

[bakaomi]

Okay.

First, can you tell me what your special skill is?

[divus]

[Ah.]

"Seeing possibilities." ...I can see the potential in situations and the good that can come from things.

[If he sounds a little confused it's because he sure is.] Haven't quite figured out how to really use that yet.

[bakaomi]

Why do other people get straightforward shit like "items"?

[ that is....

so vague. ]

[divus]

Nothing has ever been straightforward for me so why should this be any different? [Lmao yeah he's. Annoyed too.] I get it but using it is the tricky part.

[bakaomi]

How does it work...?

[divus]

...it's sort of based on belief. If someone comes to me with a thought or an idea I have a better sense than most if it's worth pursuing and following through. I can't tell you specifics like names, but I can advise and pick the best possible routes. It works for me, too. If someone approaches me with an offer or a plan I can tell what good and bad potential will come from it.

[bakaomi]

... huh.

[ he taps his chin. ]

That's useful. Still vague as fuck, but.

[divus]

Tell me about it. [He should be telling Taka not to swear but whatever.] I haven't had to use it for any of you yet though.

[bakaomi]

Have you told any others about it yet?

... although you probably can't tell me that.

[divus]

Nope. Nobody has asked. [Apparently he's allowed to say.]

[bakaomi]

....

[ SIGHS ]