GODLY AUDIENCES - TAKAOMI SHISHIMARU

[divus]

Comments

[bakaomi]

[ he folds his arms on top of the table and sets his head down on top of them. ]

I dunno yet. It's not something I can really talk about.

[divus]

Because it's hard? Or because it's dangerous? Or, perhaps, both.

[bakaomi]

... it feels kind of stupid to complain. Everyone who knows has been through something worse, and I'm not going to worry Senri with it.

[divus]

[A moment's silence.]

I understand. I've never wanted to make people feel sorrow because of myself either. [He actually stops eating and seems to give Takaomi an appraising, curious look.] In a way, it doesn't feel fair to complain because your burdens are ones you feel you can handle alone. You don't wish to be the cause of trouble for people you wish to see happy and safe.

Something like that?

[bakaomi]

[ he lifts his head up to look back at him. ]

Something like that. [ ... ] And in a game like this it seems like... I shouldn't be hung up on this.

[divus]

Shouldn't you? [A strange little pause again.] While I agree to some extent, I've come to find that people can actually be sadder if you don't share your own sorrows. It doesn't make sense, does it? People should be happy and living their lives to the best of their ability rather than be weighed down with your worries, but perhaps they feel that's a reason to worry more.

...you all came here by choice, but some of the choices you've made were an act of force you weren't prepared for. There's a difference.

[bakaomi]

... I'm used to seeing murder cases, because of my job. So, I thought it'll be fine, if anyone actually did it.

[ he wasn't sure that anyone would, but he was prepared for it. ]

But I was... really determined to not do that to win. I was told there were different ways to play the game, and I was going to keep my hands as clean as possible. I was so confident that I could get through this game in the better way.

[ he sets his head back down on his arms. ]

I wasn't even the one who did it. Ishikirimaru-- but. I still shot her, because I wanted her to stop, and that meant killing her.

[divus]

I see. [That's a lot to think about, and for a moment Beauty remains solemn in thought.]

Though it was done in an attempt to save someone else's--multiple someone else's--life, you still feel guilt that your morals have been compromised. Do you plan to continue playing the game in the same matter now? Keeping your hands as clean as possible.

[bakaomi]

... I'm not really sure how it'll be completely possible with what my power is.

[ because if he keeps using it then the chances of getting into trouble will remain high. ]

I don't know. Like I said, it's stupid.

[divus]

If I may say so, I think the only one who thinks it's stupid is yourself.

...to create a lesser evil, sometimes we have to compromise. It hurts and it isn't fair in many cases, but in the end it's the "right" thing. I highly doubt anyone would fault you for doing what you must for the greater good, especially if you're still actively trying to find another way.

[bakaomi]

I guess.

[ he's quiet for a moment. ]

... so you don't think I'm a bad person?

[divus]

No. I think...people are only bad when they go in with malicious intent, and even then it's important to try and understand why. Nothing about you is incredibly malicious, Takaomi-kun. There's a reason no one suspected you, nor Ishikirimaru-san last weekend.

While bad people exist in the world, good people thrust into bad circumstances do not always create more bad people. Do you understand?

[bakaomi]

[ he does, because it makes sense from a logical standpoint. he really does. ]

... can we eat?

[divus]

Yes, of course. Lady Love recommended these, so I think they'll be delicious.

[bakaomi]

[ he finally sits back up and goes to poke at the tofu. ]

This probably wasn't the conversation you wanted.

[divus]

No? Why wouldn't it be? It's honest conversation and that's what I prefer.

[bakaomi]

... it's not a really an enjoyable one.

[divus]

Would you like to change the subject then?

[bakaomi]

For now.

[ he'll have more time to hate himself after ray dies. anyway. ]

[divus]

Alright. Then tell me something else about yourself. What I've heard has come from Senri, but I don't believe that second-hand accounts are the way someone should get to know people.

[bakaomi]

Is there anything you're curious about in particular?

[divus]

Tell me about...[What is a good topic for someone who is depressito?] Something that makes you happy.

[bakaomi]

[ there's a pause

and then he actually smiles. ]

Uribos!

[divus]

[Holy shit he knows how to smile? Magnificent! But also:] Uribos? [o:?]

[bakaomi]

[ well since he has the ipod at this point, he is going to pull it out to quickly look through it until he seems to find what he's searching for.

and then he shoves it and the headphones at tamaki.

if he puts it on, it'll be... well it's like punk/emo music so. ]