GODLY AUDIENCES - TAKAOMI SHISHIMARU

[divus]

Comments

[divus]

[There's a pause.]

I've been alone for a very long time. If losing meant that the winner can be one of the others who'll make the world better, then can't say I'd be too mad, no.

[Despite that, they can't quite keep the almost-lonely tone out of their voice.]

[bakaomi]

[ oh...... emotions

taka is bad at this. ]

Can't you make the world better?

[divus]

[Hm. It's fine, Merriment is also bad at this and immediately pushes that subject away.]

What would you call better? [They're genuinely curious and also avoiding the question for a minute.]

[bakaomi]

... I don't know. I don't think about that kind of stuff.

[ he's not sure if his definition really matches with other people's ]

But wouldn't a god see things differently than I do? I'm a normal kid.

[divus]

[SHRUG.]

I haven't been a god that long. I have ideas but that doesn't mean they're going to be what's best. [How to explain this...] A better world would be a world where people can protect what matters most without fail.

[bakaomi]

What if what matters most to people contradicts each other?

[ some people are nice but

others are not ]

[divus]

[Some people suck, this is true, and Merriment seems to acknowledge that with a brief hum.]

Some people want a world where everyone will live in fear, because they think that's what matters. That's not a world I want. If what matters contradicts, you either try to compromise or you try harder to change their minds. The good will always win.

[Hope Taka wasn't expecting, like, a real answer.]

[bakaomi]

... no it doesn't.

[ did he really pick some optimistic god or something?? lord. ]

Good gets fucked over all the time.

[divus]

[The fact that they don't say anything is maybe enough of an implication that they agree and that they're....trying. Context would maybe help in a lot of cases but that's apparently too hard so sorry Taka.]

Believe in something strong enough, it'll happen. Even if it seems impossible. That's all I'm saying.

[bakaomi]

... hm.

[ he's not sure if he can believe that, but he can tell that merriment seems to have some sort of complicated feeling on the subject so taka at least chooses not to argue the point further. ]

You said you haven't been a god for long?

[divus]

[Oh thank god. Merriment is still a little awkward with people, but they're trying and are extremely grateful for the change in subject.]

You heard right. Most of us are new to this thing.

[bakaomi]

How new is "new"? You said you've been going at it for a long time.

[ and also that they've been alone for a long time but that's awkward to bring up in a first conversation or ever ]

[divus]

Longer than you know. [A correction.] We're not the oldest gods, but we've been on the job for--[And suddenly there's a strange sort of abrupt sound as if their tongue's curled up on itself.]

Oh come on, I can't even say that? [Ugh, fine!!] Guess that's a little too important to share right away.

[bakaomi]

... so there's certain things you're just not allowed to say?

[ intewesting]

[divus]

Wonder how long that's going to last. [So perhaps this means it won't always be the case, nor was it always the case. Hm. Intewesting indeed.]

[bakaomi]

Soooo what decides what you can't say or not?

[divus]

[Sigh.] ...when we started this contest, all of us made a bunch of rules to try and keep each other accountable, but some of them were vague at best and impossible to interpret at worst. We ended up under divine oath when we made them and now there's no going back.

[We already established the gods don't have their shit together, are you surprised?]

[bakaomi]

[ oh my fucking god ]

Did you pick your names out of a hat too?

[divus]

We didn't have a real say in that. It just...happened. When we were chosen and ascended. I don't think any of us thought to ask or question it because it felt right and we just knew who we were.

[bakaomi]

Huh.

You don't seem very... merry.

[divus]

It's complicated. [Is it?] I'm not exactly cut out for responsibilities and everything, but if that's the title I was given there has to be a reason why.

[bakaomi]

Hm.

The other ones I was offered were Love and Beauty. Would they be mad I didn't pick them?

[divus]

No. Well actually... [Man. Okay.] Love wouldn't mind. Love is the type who wants everyone to pick what's best for them, and Beauty's a little overdramatic and might be offended for a few minutes but they'd get over it. ...they're both good kids.

[Though that brings up a question:] Why did you choose me?

[bakaomi]

[ he shrugs. ]

Going by the names alone didn't really help. But... I guess Merriment just didn't sound as bad as the others.

[divus]

[...they end up laughing, a little disbelieving and also a little relieved.]

It's also been a long time since I've worked with anyone. But if you stick with me, I'll do my best to make this work. [They almost sound a little more cheerful, god.]