GODLY AUDIENCES - TAKAOMI SHISHIMARU

[divus]

Comments

[divus]

[There's a brief time he's considering that.]

...I don't regret what choice I made when I voted to make this a killing game, because you guys still get to come back and that's a luckier situation than some people ever get. But I think if I'd known then what I know now I would've thought about it a little more before immediately backing Ruin's suggestion.

[bakaomi]

... I'm still mad about that, but I can't be too upset because I agreed to come here.

[ he is just. so traumatized because he is the wrong genre for this. he was so unprepared for this level of bullshit. ]

But... in the end, I think there was more good than bad. The bad still sucked though. A lot.

[divus]

You did. ...but I get it. Sometimes you agree to stuff without realizing what the hell you're getting into. The bad sucks a lot. Dying sucks a lot. The whole thing kind of sucks a lot but if you're getting something good out of it maybe we didn't screw up that much.

[He takes another slice of pizza just because.] ...it's almost over. At least it's just a couple of months.

[bakaomi]

People can forget if they want, right?

[ since merriment had implied they could, a few weeks back. ]

[divus]

Yeah. It'd be kind of a dick move if we didn't give you that option. Thinking of taking it after all?

[bakaomi]

... nah.

[ if things had gone very, very differently, then maybe. but. ]

Senri would kill me. [ ... ] And I'm already enough of a coward without that.

[divus]

...yeah. You and me both. [Hm.] Can't say I'd blame anybody who did take the option. It's appealing, I get it. But it's a whole personal choice thing.

[bakaomi]

... how would it work if you got your wish? You'll just suddenly get what you want without remembering how it happened?

[divus]

Pretty sure if we can erase your memories, we could change them to think you earned it yourself somehow. But that's just a guess.

[bakaomi]

Ugh.

[ he'd be pissed, even if in this situation he would not know why he would be pissed ]

[divus]

...revival was partially my idea. So I could probably figure out the mechanics. I'm one of the only ones with any experience in a world where rebirth exists. So I figure if I take that same idea but without actually doing a full mindwipe...it'd work.

[But it's still stupid and he knows that.]

Makes me wonder how many of you are actually going to want to forget though.

[bakaomi]

I dunno... it's hard to tell what people are thinking.

[ that's more taka's fault than anything. he's not sure if he's particularly close to anyone enough to really be able to gauge that. ]

[divus]

I stopped trying after a while to be honest. [A shrug.]

...sort of hard to believe this thing's almost over. It's going to be a pretty close race to the end. [...] You're going to really stay with your god until the end?

[He doesn't sound like he cares one way or another, but he's curious.]

[bakaomi]

I want to.

[ he knows merriment isn't going to win, but... ]

I'll have to see what next week looks like. But... it's what I'll prefer.

[divus]

Loyal. [It's a thoughtful sort of tone.]

...even after everything, I think Guy might stick around. Everybody else is up in the air. You guys are gonna have to watch the numbers really close in the last week.

[bakaomi]

I have no idea what it'll look like at this point. This week is pretty even, but...

[ people are

so unloyal ]

[divus]

I know. [...] It's why I'm worried about Ambition.

[bakaomi]

[ he frowns ]

Why?

[divus]

You've seen the fluctuation in numbers, haven't you? Why wouldn't I be worried about that?

[bakaomi]

[ yes but he wanted to hear him say it. ]

... she takes it really personally, too.

[divus]

I know. She's just a kid, this competion's been rough on her even when she was in the lead. [Ambition is the one person Cunning is actually soft for. ] Figured people like you and Senri are going to keep trying to talk to her anyway at least but...I dunno.

[bakaomi]

There's only so much you can do.

[ you can try to support someone, but if she doesn't actually believe in the support. ]

I think some people treat her like she's older.

[divus]

Oh, they do. [Which also pisses him off a little.] And I don't blame them. She's smart and she's capable and she's a lot more mature than most people. […] She's still fourteen. And when you have a lot of people trying to bargain and counting on you to create the best possible scenario? That's a lot of pressure either way.

[There's a sigh.] …my entire life's been dictated by girls who know what they're doing and forget how to be a kid. I shouldn't be surprised, but I can at least try to monitor things from my end.

[bakaomi]

... that's an interesting thing to picture.

[ but also makes sense as to why he is so fond of her. he remembers senri saying that cunning and disorder didn't actually care that much about ambition, but it didn't really... seem right. ]

We'll try to keep an eye on her.

[divus]

Is it? [Senri maybe had a biased picture since Cunning said he couldn't actually always rely on the girls, but that's his own issue. He shrugs though.]

But thanks. […] I almost failed back in my own world, so I'm not sure I'm ready to fail somebody else in this one. It's why I'm trying to win. At least if she's with me she can delegate and still have somebody else to take the pressure off.

Then again, I think she's starting to change because of you guys, too.