GODLY AUDIENCES: SASUKE UCHIHA

[divus]

Comments

[moralmyopia]

[He just--frowns tiredly at Merriment!! What is with this scolding all the time, damn! Clearly, he's seventeen and he is An Adult and he knows So Much. His plans are great?]

Oh, and you have so much experience because--what? You're old?

[divus]

[A light laugh.] No. Because I used to be like you until I found people to try and care about. When I ruined that, I jumped at the chance to ascend.

[So there x2]

[moralmyopia]

[WOW]

You... ran away? [Like a coward? but then he thinks about himself--no, there's no way. He didn't run because he was scared (he was completely scared, of love, of friends), he ran because he needed to be stronger.] You're "merriment."

If that's the case, why?

[divus]

I didn't--[He shuts up not long after that because like. Yeah, okay, he sort of ran away.] Hasn't anybody told you not to look so deeply into the names?

[Anyway.] ...I used to work alone. For a real, real long time. I was good at what I did, it affected the people it needed to, and nobody stood in my way. Nobody's rules but my own, nothing holding me back. But...then I met people who wanted me to work with them even though we were a bad match. They insisted, and eventually I went along with it because they wouldn't leave me alone. They started to trust me. We started working together, protecting the things that matter, figuring stuff out together. It almost felt like having people care about what happened to me. It was weird, but...not totally unpleasant.

And then...something happened. I got distracted by my own goals and thought I knew better. Figured I could stay neutral, play both sides and get what I wanted. I ended up making a mess of things and didn't know how to fix it.

So I left.

[moralmyopia]

[The twisting edges of his face is actually rather guarded in a way, almost like Merriment pinches a string at the center of his chest and unravels him by pulling it over, and over, and over.

He looks away, inwardly ashamed at how familiar the words sting. His silence is very telling, but Merriment probably knew that much already.]

Are you... [He looks up with just his eyes.] ...satisfied with that?

[divus]

I thought I was. I thought things would go back to being the same afterwards once I was on my own again, but it was harder to come back from. I got what I thought I wanted the most, but there were still things I wanted for other people. I'd messed up though and couldn't go back.

That's why I came here. I wanted a second chance to do things over and try again. [...] I've only started being satisfied again about a week ago. [During his host week.]

[moralmyopia]

[He... should not have come to talk to Merriment, he thinks. Slowly, his eyes lower. He shouldn’t have come because he is trying to cling to the last flimsy pieces of his goal, here and there. He’s trying to hold on to all that bitterness, all that hopeless self-sacrifice.

His eyes squeeze shut like his fists.]

I’m not running away. I’m going back, whether I have what you all promised me or not, and I am going to kill Naruto and rebuild Konoha. [It sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything.] My brother... [His eyes open, and he peers at his white-knuckled fists as he raises them. They carefully unfurl. Does he help create an ideal world? Does he assist in killing the gods? The ones treating them as Itachi had been treated by the village. Does he try to become one and leave Konoha and Naruto and the rest to burn?

Very softy, mostly to himself:] What the hell am I doing...?

[divus]

[He doesn't address any of that, letting Sasuke sort of ask himself these questions and watching quietly. At the last question...there's a pause.]

Sometimes things change and bigger, and sometimes better, plans take a priority. Doesn't mean that's a bad thing. Do you get that?

[moralmyopia]

I get it.

[Does he really? Or maybe he does, but--Uchiha. Execution? Remember.

He's quiet for a long time, and then he lets his arms fall down to his sides. Something about it feels like he's reached the beginning of a resolution within himself. Maybe.] I want to see your room before I go. [It sounds more like a request than a demand, actually.]

[divus]

[Sasuke what.] ...can I ask why?

[Mostly he's just wondering.]

[moralmyopia]

[He's still not sure how to completely articulate how he feels, especially not about more personal things. So, he just...]

I want to see what it means to you.

[divus]

[Hm...]

This time it's more like I can't instead of I don't want to. It's part of our rules we ended up making. Participants have to earn things like that, even if it's free game after that. You can look if you really want, but that's up to you.

[There's a shrug.] And it's not like anybody will walk in and trap you under a bed.

[moralmyopia]

[He just keeps getting no'd left and right by the gods. It's what he deserves.]

So if I find it for myself, I can see it? Is what you mean.

[He makes a face about being teased for the bed trapping... and... everything else.]

[divus]

That's what I mean. [Also Sasuke 100% deserves this.] They're meant for you guys to find, we don't care about that, but it's an extra challenge? Don't ask me how we ended up passing that as a rule.

[moralmyopia]

[This............ manages to legitimately get the barest hints of one of the first subdued smiles he's given in earnest??? It really does look better on him than the scowl.]

I don't even want to know. [Probably. The gods are as much disasters as they are.] I'll look for it then.

Do I have to prepare for snow?

[divus]

[Sasuke...you're so strange and Merriment continues being intrigued. The kazoo plays a note by itself again.]

Knowing you, you'll find it a lot faster than you think. [He sounds like he's grinning though.] I wouldn't worry about snow, but maybe bring a jacket anyway. [A beat.] ...and don't be disappointed by what you might find.

[moralmyopia]

I'm not looking for anything important. [Maybe answers he can give his own self just by seeing a new place, if anything.] If it's important to you, that's what matters.

[divus]

[He has zero qualms with this and nods in agreement.] Then okay. You come back and look around, figure out how to open the door, and you're free to look around. I'll even give you space to snoop on your own if you want.

[He's very blase about it, too.]

[moralmyopia]

Alright.

[But he doesn't turn around to leave. He glances up from the floor, at Merriment, at the kazoo, and then at the billiard table. Quietly:]

Do you know how to play? The table you're on. It's a game, right?

[divus]

[A look down at the table and a hand reaches out to pick up one of the billiard balls from the triangle rack, rolling it across the felt of the table.]

It's a game. I've learned how to play but it's kind of a strategy game for people with good aim. Pretty easy to pick up on, too.

[moralmyopia]

[There's a short, considering pause.]

Teach me how, and I'll play one with you.

[He can do maybe one game with Merriment before slinking out like a cat.]

[divus]

Okay. [That's surprisingly easy, and though Merriment looks at Sasuke through the mask he's pocketing the kazoo and swinging himself off of the table.] There's a couple of games you can play on this table, but we'll start with a really easy one. Grab a cue. [A gesture to the rack of wooden pool cues on the wall. While Sasuke does that, a white cue ball seemingly appears out of nowhere, bright and glistening.]

You might like this one. It's all about planning your next move. We'll do solids versus stripes.

[The billiard balls are still in the triangle formation at one of the table, and Merriment centers them in a very specific place. Pulling off the triangle-rack to leave the balls in place, he's also grabbing a cue.

Maybe Sasuke will understand later why this is interesting.]

[moralmyopia]

[He follows the hand to the rack of sticks on the wall, and then he moves to slide one down out of the clamp. Carefully, he looks it over--heavy and thicker on one end, small on the other. The tip is strange? Flatter, rounded, defined.

When he comes back over to watch Merriment, his eyes linger on the pockets along the edges, the cue ball, the triangle of other pool balls. Sets colored differently and they're numbered...?]

Alright.

[divus]

I'll let you break to make it easier, too. [Merriment sets down the cueball at the opposite end, taking his cue and lining it up as an example.] What you want to do is aim to break apart the cluster and send the balls wherever. If you sink one of the balls, that's your pattern to go after. If you sink one of each, you get to pick. Save the eight ball--the black one--for last or the game's automatically over. Make sense?

[moralmyopia]

Yes.

[Sasuke watches Merriment like he would watch anyone back home, studious, intense. He glances out at the triangle of colored balls and then sets up at the opposite end as Merriment had. Hm.

It's not much different than trying to use chakra to walk up a tree. If he hits them too hard, they'll fly everywhere. If he hits them too softly, he won't break them enough. Carefully, he tests the cue stick in his hand by bobbing it forward and back.

He aims and then swats the ball down the table to crack into the top of the triangle. Most of them disperse without being tossed roughly. The striped fifteen rolls into the middle pocket on the right.]