GODLY AUDIENCES: SENRI

[divus]

Comments

[divus]

Yes. Lift this in the back?

[usogi]

[and senri will do as directed - apparently he has a new cut (steals anna's description) "across the right side and back, by the ribs"

thanks sasuke]

Is it bad?

[divus]

[There's an unhappy little noise.] It's large, actually. It may be worth asking what he's doing to cause these things.

[Give him a moment before he'll just attend to that, cleaning the wound a bit and working on making sure it's not still actively bleeding.]

[usogi]

I doubt he meant to....

[he has so much faith in this shitty ninja - and senri will just wince and try to hide his expression from tamaki as he works so he doesn't worry him]

... sorry. I shouldn't have come to visit.

[divus]

Why not? [His hands are careful so that he doesn't make it worse, making sure the bandages cover the wound itself.]

[usogi]

If I was somewhere else, you wouldn't have to be the one to take care of me....

[IT'S ALWAYS TAMAKI??]

[divus]

Why does it matter if it's me?

[usogi]

Because it's always you....

[he sighs and he's glad that he's not facing tamaki? he looks up to the ceiling and pouts]

Don't get me wrong - Taka takes care of me too. So does Sasuke. Ray-kun sometimes. Zo. Ishirin-san....

But you're the one who always deals with me when I'm at my worst, or most troublesome. You might be okay with it, but I'm not.... Even if I didn't feel anything anymore - [and he can't even pretend like he doesn't, it's too obvious] - I wouldn't want to make my friends deal with me like this.

[divus]

...I don't know what to say to that, actually. [He finishes patching Senri up before letting the shirt close around him again.] Does it really make you that unhappy...?

[usogi]

[senri will pull the shirt around him and carefully holding it closed, though he takes a second before he turns so that he can face tamaki again, offering a smile]

... guilty is the word, I think.

You always take really good care of me....

[divus]

...I don't think I know how to do anything else at this point.

[usogi]

[ . . . and senri will reach for tamaki's hands]

... I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it.

You know you can do plenty of things...? You're talented? You're a god. I don't know what you mean....

[divus]

[Senri gets to keep his hands, and Tamaki doesn't respond immediately.]

It's nothing. [There's a smile, and he squeezes Senri's hands a little before he tries to pull them back.] Does it hurt less?

[usogi]

[senri will let him pull back and he blinks a little at the question

tamaki doesn't really want to touch him anymore and is emotionally withdrawing from him too

the answer should be 'yes'

but as he tries to understand what's happening, what he says is:]

... I don't think so.

[divus]

[...]

...what hurts? [He'll just park his ass back down next to Senri and openly stare at him.]

[usogi]

[senri looks away - though he makesno effort to hide the frown on his face]

You're not telling me something...

[divus]

It's not that, Senri. I promise.

[usogi]

Then why does it feel like that....?

[he turns his gaze to Beauty, confused and a little injured]

If I said something wrong, you should tell me. Please.

[divus]

..it's not that. It's...with everything, I want to do so much more for you but I can't. So I'll do what I'm allowed. [Which is taking care of him, apparently. So...] But if it makes you feel guilty, then...

[Mostly "this is all I can do" is "this is all I can do to show my affections because you have a boyfriend" so Senri telling him no was rude.]

[usogi]

[ . . . . . ugh.

they really do keep tripping over this line they've drawn. senri winces a little bit again - this time from a pain much sharper than that of a physical injury - and he'll reach out to cup tamaki's cheek to get him to face him directly]

.... it only makes me feel guilty because I don't know what to do for you in return.

I haven't figured out how to make you happy...

[divus]

[He'll let that happen even as he sort of just stares at Senri again.]

What makes you think you haven't made me happy in the first place?

[usogi]

... I don't know how to make you happy without making you sad at the same time.

[because -

they still can't be together.

and it hurts senri too, but at least he has a way to bandaid it with someone that he can have.]

[divus]

The sadness isn't your fault, you realize. And I'm happy when I get to see you and spend time with you.

[usogi]

[ . . . it's still a little hard to reconcile.

but feelings are complicated, and senri can't even bring himself to disagree. there's no way to solve this, because there's nothing they can do about it. there's nothing they should do about it, because there's nothing possible that won't hurt someone else who doesn't ever deserve to be hurt.

senri will shift so that he can hug tamaki - around the middle, because his arms can't lift high enough to go back around his shoulders again]

.... okay.

Then - I'll be happy with that too, and try to not feel guilty.

[ . . . ]

I really like when you take care of me... maybe a little too much.

[divus]

[Oh. He looks down at Senri for a moment before the action is carefully reciprocated as to not aggravate the injuries.]

Is it possible to like something like this too much? I really don't know. But I think the world could do with a little less loneliness and more people taking care of each other.

[Every day Tamaki misses his hosts a lot. If he can't do what he used to be good at, he can try to be the princely type here.]