I guess I know that feeling too... I thought it was funny that there's only one person from back home that I had trouble getting along with - and he still ended up being brought here with me.
Takaomi-kun right? [Someone's friendly and familiar.] It's pretty obvious you guys don't always get along, but it kind of looks like things are getting better.
[Idly. The gods see all.] But we put out the call and both of you answered. Maybe that's just what partners do.
Mm-hmm. I thought that if you don't mind hearing about someone you already know, maybe he could be part of my secret that I tell a god. There's something I'm still figuring out how to tell him, so I thought I could tell you first. I'm a little nervous!
[senri figured the god of Love might not mind hearing about his boyfriend -
though he's also careful to ask for permission?? he remembers her getting mad at him before,,]
.... I think I might've liked him for a really long time.
[and he'll just swing his legs idly - he doesn't look at her then, but instead just smiles vaguely skyward]
I told him this when we were at the academy briefly - but sometimes I don't know what to say to people. If it's something serious, or something that could really hurt them, I used to shut up instead of risking saying the wrong thing. I've... gotten a little better at that.
[god, he was so persistent about ray]
But I told him - as long as it's him, I didn't need to worry about acting, or being preoccupied with being nice. I didn't have to be who everyone else needed or wanted me to be.
We don't get along - it's still not perfect. We disagree on a lot of things.
... but maybe I've been wanting to be honest with him for even longer than I thought.
...that's really sweet. [First of all.] You'd probably embarrass him by telling him all of that, but that's even more reason to do it.
Sometimes being honest is the scariest thing in the world, and it's even worse when people want you to be honest with yourself. When you spend so long being one kind of person, it can be really hard going backwards to being someone else. Trying to decide who you are and how you should behave for everyone...it's tough. Trust me, I know.
He still likes you anyway and he's willing to learn with you, right?
Somehow! [and senri laughs] .... he's not perfect either. Sometimes he's still really rude to people who don't deserve it, and gets stubborn over nothing.
... but he's one of the best people that I know. He works hard for the sake of everyone else, even if no one really pays attention. He just wants to keep people safe and... I think he's trying to build better connections with people, even though it scares him.
[he's so terribly fond, and he shakes his head]
I want to be the best possible me for someone like that.
I don't know if perfect relationships really exist anyway. [Shrug!] But that's what makes them fun and exciting, right? You get to learn about each other along the way, and learn how to work together. You find good points and bad points in each other, and you help build each other up and support those qualities.
[...] I wanted the same thing for the boy I cared about more than anything. For a long time, I didn't really know how to be the person I was supposed to be, or who that even was. But he helped me find her. And now I want to be the best possible me not only for him, but others, too.
I think wanting something like that is a really good thing to strive for. [So good job, Senri.]
Ahh, it's been so hard Lovey...! [soft crylaugh] I've... had to change a lot of things about how I operate in this game, just to make sure that I don't hurt anyone. I don't... I've never wanted to hurt someone with my lies, but I think I had to realize really fast that they can sting if they're uncovered.
[whereas in shinonome everyone just thinks it's funny when senri's lies get uncovered so he keeps lying, damn,,]
.... but I'm glad. That you were able to find someone like that. My guess was right that the goddess of Love would be able to get where I'm coming from! You know Shishimaru already - can I ask what your person is like?
I think you're still doing your best, and that's kind of what makes it worth it. The willingness to change is the most important part. Sometimes...we have to lie to protect ourselves and the people we love. But it's about knowing which lies to tell and which lies to avoid.
[So. It's hit and miss, but she understands. There's a small laugh though because...] ...he's kind of funny. Charming in his own goofy way, but he's usually pretty levelheaded. He can be rash when things upset him, but he's always been the driving force for our team to keep us going. He's really smart, really good with people, too.
[...] He's been doing some kind of stupid things in this game, but you know...stakes are high. I forgive him.
[senri nods, because he agrees with her. beat for beat. he still hasn't been convinced that lies in their entirety are a bad thing, depending on where they're used, if it's strategic, if anyone gets hurt -
It's...complicated? I mean yeah, I'm happy to see him, but I'm still pretty worried about him being here. He...remembers things a little differently than I do.
It's pretty boring stuff. [It's a little weird though?] It's just...he remembers something happening to us at home. It's the last thing he remembers, but I remember something more after that. I don't really understand how it happened, but I haven't told him either.
I think...if he knows? He might not fight as hard in this game. Is that selfish? He's worried about our friends back home, but if he knew they were alright, would he keep playing the way he's been playing? I don't know.
I'm not even sure what he really thinks about me being here. What he thinks happened, I mean.
I hope so. [She doesn't sound quite so sure, but she shakes her head.] It's okay. It'll work out the way it's supposed to. Sort of like how you and Takaomi-kun worked out.
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[ . . . well. senri laughs]
I guess I know that feeling too... I thought it was funny that there's only one person from back home that I had trouble getting along with - and he still ended up being brought here with me.
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[Idly. The gods see all.] But we put out the call and both of you answered. Maybe that's just what partners do.
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[senri figured the god of Love might not mind hearing about his boyfriend -
though he's also careful to ask for permission?? he remembers her getting mad at him before,,]
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What are you stuck on?
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[and he'll just swing his legs idly - he doesn't look at her then, but instead just smiles vaguely skyward]
I told him this when we were at the academy briefly - but sometimes I don't know what to say to people. If it's something serious, or something that could really hurt them, I used to shut up instead of risking saying the wrong thing. I've... gotten a little better at that.
[god, he was so persistent about ray]
But I told him - as long as it's him, I didn't need to worry about acting, or being preoccupied with being nice. I didn't have to be who everyone else needed or wanted me to be.
We don't get along - it's still not perfect. We disagree on a lot of things.
... but maybe I've been wanting to be honest with him for even longer than I thought.
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Sometimes being honest is the scariest thing in the world, and it's even worse when people want you to be honest with yourself. When you spend so long being one kind of person, it can be really hard going backwards to being someone else. Trying to decide who you are and how you should behave for everyone...it's tough. Trust me, I know.
He still likes you anyway and he's willing to learn with you, right?
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... but he's one of the best people that I know. He works hard for the sake of everyone else, even if no one really pays attention. He just wants to keep people safe and... I think he's trying to build better connections with people, even though it scares him.
[he's so terribly fond, and he shakes his head]
I want to be the best possible me for someone like that.
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[...] I wanted the same thing for the boy I cared about more than anything. For a long time, I didn't really know how to be the person I was supposed to be, or who that even was. But he helped me find her. And now I want to be the best possible me not only for him, but others, too.
I think wanting something like that is a really good thing to strive for. [So good job, Senri.]
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[whereas in shinonome everyone just thinks it's funny when senri's lies get uncovered so he keeps lying, damn,,]
.... but I'm glad. That you were able to find someone like that. My guess was right that the goddess of Love would be able to get where I'm coming from! You know Shishimaru already - can I ask what your person is like?
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[So. It's hit and miss, but she understands. There's a small laugh though because...] ...he's kind of funny. Charming in his own goofy way, but he's usually pretty levelheaded. He can be rash when things upset him, but he's always been the driving force for our team to keep us going. He's really smart, really good with people, too.
[...] He's been doing some kind of stupid things in this game, but you know...stakes are high. I forgive him.
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and then he pauses when she goes on.]
In this....
[ . . . ]
Yu-kun....?
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[he didn't trick anyone!!]
Are you happy to see him?
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[the same world? he frowns, obvious that he doesn't quite get it]
... If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears, but I don't want to make you feel like you have to, either.
I guess I just would feel weird if Taka and I remembered different things.
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[ . . . ]
You don't want to...? Do you think it'll worry him?
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I'm not even sure what he really thinks about me being here. What he thinks happened, I mean.
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[ . . . ]
But I'm sure that even then - he'll know that you're thinking of him, and how you only want the best for him.
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Hopefully less bumpy than us.
You deserve something really sweet, and really happy.
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Is there anything else I can help you with today?
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