For a hint like that, you'd have to do something really big. And I know you don't want me to win, so getting you to defect to me isn't going to cut it.
You're not getting it. Something of that cost is what it will take. "Get me a permanent follower" is the nonviolent option, but you can't guarantee that anyone will stay but you. And you won't leave your god.
The other option is "remove someone from the game permanently," and I don't want you to do that for me. It's either put my numbers up, or put someone else's down.
senri can't say he's surprised. there's a moment where her words really seem to take a second to sink in, and he nods]
... yeah. Yeah, that sounds....
[ . . . ]
You're looking out for me. I know you are. [he's blinking furiously, as if that'll get the tears to keep from welling up in his uno eye] I can't do those things, so it's good for you to tell me now.
I... [he shakes his head, as if that'll get his emotions to settle] I appreciate you, like I always do, Bambi.
[ . . . and senri will just walk over to where the table is. he'll only move once his face is dry, and he'll move to put a hand over hers where she's arranging nail polish]
... I know.
I'm not mad.
I trust you. Even if you can't do something for me as a god, I know you would've tried as a friend. And... knowing that...
It still stings - but it's not your fault. It just means I have to work harder, with the pieces I already have.
Look at you - you're winning the whole thing. You... You can make a world and work with the other gods and...
[ . . . ]
You're... so close to doing it all....
[he breathes in quietly, and breathes out]
... it's not that I don't want you to win. I... want you to know that. It's just... Sometimes it's a lot of pressure, to be in charge and - you're capable of amazing things, Bambi. Your heart is kind, and you're snappy, and you're so smart.
I just - I want you to be able to live a normal life with friends and people who care about you, even more than I want you to lead. Maybe I'm just... a little late for that.
But - don't think for even a second it's because I don't believe in you.
... then you're saying it yourself. You're... You're prepared.
[ . . . . ]
I guess I'm just... selfishly scared for you. I won't be here anymore after this competition, and I don't want to leave you behind with people you might not get along with at first glance.
... even if you don't - whatever chance that is - I... I want you to know that you'll always serve a purpose. Because you're you, and that's all that you have to be.
[senri sighs softly]
Mm... Okay.... You'll have to make sure you play super nice with Cheri and Beauty after I'm gone - they've taken care of me... They'll take care of you too.
... it's always enough. It... It takes a little while to believe. Because sometimes it's easier to see the mistakes than what you do well.... but as long as you're willing to learn....
[senri huffs out a little laugh at that though]
Did he.... That sounds like the Beauty I know. Can I ask what he did...?
..."as long as you're willing to learn"... that sounds a lot like "you have to want it".
[She really is going to be Ambition forever, isn't she? Always chasing after something new. The question is whether or not he'll actually get it.]
...someone wanted to make a deal with me after the trial. I didn't want to take it. He agreed to be my witness that I actually turned it down, in case... it goes badly and people try to bring it up to get rid of my followers next week.
... it's not a bad thing - to want things, to want to learn. That's how you get better and better everyday. It doesn't mean that anything's wrong with you, but it's alright to want to be more than you are.
[and he'll lean over to kiss the top of her head at that, a soft and encouraging little gesture]
What was the point in having a private audience if he was just going to tell everyone about it anyway...?! [she wipes furiously at her eyes] He's the one who asked to talk to me, you know? And it's not even the first time!
[oh bambi - senri's just going to reach up to gently try to brush away some of the tear tracks with his thumb, because he's helping,,]
He's talked to you a lot...?
I mean - I'm glad, because of course people should talk to you but... I'm a little mad that he'd try to ask you to do something that we don't even know if you can do or not....
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Bambi, will you let me do you some favors this coming week? Not yet, obviously but...
[he rubs at his face, which is still red from how he's obviously been crying]
I...
How do I still not have enough to work with....?
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[she's still working on her nail polish arranging, sorry]
You tell me what you want, I'll tell you what the price you'd have to pay is. That's how it works.
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It's the only thing I'll want for a while.
Who hurt Ray-kun.
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[ . . . ]
If you tell me what you need me to do, I can try to do it. If I can't... I'll work with what I have.
But I... I can't lose the opportunity to just try to keep moving forward with this.
[and he pauses - ]
... and it's not that I....
... we'll talk about that after, if that's okay.
[one thing at a time]
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The other option is "remove someone from the game permanently," and I don't want you to do that for me. It's either put my numbers up, or put someone else's down.
So, no. I can't help you right now.
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senri can't say he's surprised. there's a moment where her words really seem to take a second to sink in, and he nods]
... yeah. Yeah, that sounds....
[ . . . ]
You're looking out for me. I know you are. [he's blinking furiously, as if that'll get the tears to keep from welling up in his uno eye] I can't do those things, so it's good for you to tell me now.
I... [he shakes his head, as if that'll get his emotions to settle] I appreciate you, like I always do, Bambi.
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[she shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut]
It wouldn't work. It wouldn't change anything. I can only give hints, not get around the gods' rules. I see that now.
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... I know.
I'm not mad.
I trust you. Even if you can't do something for me as a god, I know you would've tried as a friend. And... knowing that...
It still stings - but it's not your fault. It just means I have to work harder, with the pieces I already have.
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[Her voice breaks as his hand comes to rest over hers.]
But what if wanting it isn't good enough?
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only to open his arms quietly]
... we can talk about it, Bambi.
What... what purpose do you want to serve? What do you want....?
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[hey dana guess her canonpoint]
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[and he'll
just quietly and slowly bring her into a hug]
You're useful, Bambi.
Look at you - you're winning the whole thing. You... You can make a world and work with the other gods and...
[ . . . ]
You're... so close to doing it all....
[he breathes in quietly, and breathes out]
... it's not that I don't want you to win. I... want you to know that. It's just... Sometimes it's a lot of pressure, to be in charge and - you're capable of amazing things, Bambi. Your heart is kind, and you're snappy, and you're so smart.
I just - I want you to be able to live a normal life with friends and people who care about you, even more than I want you to lead. Maybe I'm just... a little late for that.
But - don't think for even a second it's because I don't believe in you.
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[she clings to him tightly, though]
My life stopped being normal a really long time ago.
But it's the only reason I've been able to do what I have here... I think.
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[ . . . . ]
I guess I'm just... selfishly scared for you. I won't be here anymore after this competition, and I don't want to leave you behind with people you might not get along with at first glance.
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[...]
I've already started getting along a little better with some of the others...
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[senri sighs softly]
Mm... Okay.... You'll have to make sure you play super nice with Cheri and Beauty after I'm gone - they've taken care of me... They'll take care of you too.
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[It probably still isn't now, if you ask most of the people here.]
...Beauty... isn't that bad, I guess. He helped me out today.
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... it's always enough. It... It takes a little while to believe. Because sometimes it's easier to see the mistakes than what you do well.... but as long as you're willing to learn....
[senri huffs out a little laugh at that though]
Did he.... That sounds like the Beauty I know. Can I ask what he did...?
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[She really is going to be Ambition forever, isn't she? Always chasing after something new. The question is whether or not he'll actually get it.]
...someone wanted to make a deal with me after the trial. I didn't want to take it. He agreed to be my witness that I actually turned it down, in case... it goes badly and people try to bring it up to get rid of my followers next week.
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[and he'll lean over to kiss the top of her head at that, a soft and encouraging little gesture]
.... Mm. Was it.. Yu-kun's deal?
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He told you about that?
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... yeah. Yeah, he did. A little bit before I came here...
Are you okay? I'm more worried about you....
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What was the point in having a private audience if he was just going to tell everyone about it anyway...?! [she wipes furiously at her eyes] He's the one who asked to talk to me, you know? And it's not even the first time!
[
yu probably didn't tell senri that. whoops.]
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He's talked to you a lot...?
I mean - I'm glad, because of course people should talk to you but... I'm a little mad that he'd try to ask you to do something that we don't even know if you can do or not....
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