[ . . . is what he's saying but also like. he's laughing.
and when some of the laughter dies down, he'll. pause.]
... I miss Ray-kun so much, Cheri. I relied on him a lot - I think a lot more than people knew. I relied him almost as much as I rely on Taka, but twice as much for when it came to trying to make decisions. When I lost him, I thought... that I lost a lot of the support I had in this game. It was extra bad, because I lost Jude-kun and Zo at the same time, and I... I was hurting really badly.
When I found out that he made a brooch to protect me, and gave it to me instead of using it for himself, I... didn't really get why. I think a lot that I'm kind of selfish, and I thought at first that I would've absolutely kept something like that, so why couldn't everyone else?
... but I gave it to Taka on Thursday, as soon as I could. This need to protect people... I think I understand it a lot better now, than when I started here.
I'm still scared - often. I'm still worried that maybe people make the wrong choices for my sake.
But... I think I'm getting better from being here. I really do. And I'm trying not to be too scared to be more... sincere.
[RUFFLES SENRI'S HAIR while he recovers from his laughter]
...I don't think that sounds stupid, Sen-chan. I'm glad you're learning about that... about wanting to protect people. It's a sign of how much you've grown.
[can you, like, call it good growth if it's only because he's in a murdergame? ehhh.]
People are shaped by their experiences. For better or worse, you've had experiences here that in your normal life, you'd never have to deal with. [unless dream!ing has him get kidnapped by a serial killer or smth] Some people who have gone through tougher things before being here already had that protective instinct. Some people who are purely selfish... they get further and further away from developing it the longer they're here.
But it speaks a lot about the kind of person you are that even though you think you're selfish, you have suc a strong urge to protect people.
..... I always thought that's just because I'm from a place that's so peaceful - that I want everyone else to experience that.
[ . . . but he nods.]
I'll keep trying, though. I don't... want to get worse, again. It's... scary, to be real. To think that I might make people unhappy when I try to be myself, but.. being yourself, no matter what other people think, right?
[that's the world cheri wants]
Something tells me that Cheri didn't go through this same type of thing to get as cool as you are... but I'd like to live similarly one day too.
[to not be a coward, to not run away from everything that's difficult, to try to remember he's not alone and people really might like him for who he is]
... it's been hard to be here, but... I'm glad that I got to meet you.
[cheri is in his underwear but whatever it's time for a hug]
I'll say it again next week but it still felt important to say now.
[he hugs him back. a little skin-on-skin contact never hurt anyone, i guess? god. sincerity, please put some clothes on. where the fuck is his geek girlfriend to screech about how he needs to get dressed.]
I mean - Mizuki-san has Above Suspicion, and I think that they might be up for saving Sasuke but... I'll also understand if they're nervous to use it when we still have one week left, and we might lose someone important to get executed if we're not careful. So... I might offer to swap to Beauty - but Madopyon will come join you instead, so you don't drop to zero.
[and then mizuki says that they were going to FORCE SOMEONE TO BEAUTY ANYWAY so senri was forced into agreeing before things got out of hand, cry]
Tama-chin said that you haven't all decided as a pantheon if you can contact people from your old lives... but I think you should totally make a rule that says you can talk to the people you've met here. Nothing to hide, you know?
... I get it if Cheri doesn't want to talk about it -
But... Tama-chin has a problem of holding all his problems to himself. I don't think you're the same but... I'm here to listen, if you ever want an ear.
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[ . . . is what he's saying but also like. he's laughing.
and when some of the laughter dies down, he'll. pause.]
... I miss Ray-kun so much, Cheri. I relied on him a lot - I think a lot more than people knew. I relied him almost as much as I rely on Taka, but twice as much for when it came to trying to make decisions. When I lost him, I thought... that I lost a lot of the support I had in this game. It was extra bad, because I lost Jude-kun and Zo at the same time, and I... I was hurting really badly.
When I found out that he made a brooch to protect me, and gave it to me instead of using it for himself, I... didn't really get why. I think a lot that I'm kind of selfish, and I thought at first that I would've absolutely kept something like that, so why couldn't everyone else?
... but I gave it to Taka on Thursday, as soon as I could. This need to protect people... I think I understand it a lot better now, than when I started here.
I'm still scared - often. I'm still worried that maybe people make the wrong choices for my sake.
But... I think I'm getting better from being here. I really do. And I'm trying not to be too scared to be more... sincere.
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...I don't think that sounds stupid, Sen-chan. I'm glad you're learning about that... about wanting to protect people. It's a sign of how much you've grown.
[can you, like, call it good growth if it's only because he's in a murdergame? ehhh.]
People are shaped by their experiences. For better or worse, you've had experiences here that in your normal life, you'd never have to deal with. [unless dream!ing has him get kidnapped by a serial killer or smth] Some people who have gone through tougher things before being here already had that protective instinct. Some people who are purely selfish... they get further and further away from developing it the longer they're here.
But it speaks a lot about the kind of person you are that even though you think you're selfish, you have suc a strong urge to protect people.
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[ . . . but he nods.]
I'll keep trying, though. I don't... want to get worse, again. It's... scary, to be real. To think that I might make people unhappy when I try to be myself, but.. being yourself, no matter what other people think, right?
[that's the world cheri wants]
Something tells me that Cheri didn't go through this same type of thing to get as cool as you are... but I'd like to live similarly one day too.
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[he grins at him]
Just be you, Sen-chan. The most important thing is to be true to yourself, no matter what's going on or who's around you.
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But... okay, Cheri. I'll do my best.
[to not be a coward, to not run away from everything that's difficult, to try to remember he's not alone and people really might like him for who he is]
... it's been hard to be here, but... I'm glad that I got to meet you.
[cheri is in his underwear but whatever it's time for a hug]
I'll say it again next week but it still felt important to say now.
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...I'm glad I got to meet you, too.
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senri will pull back though and just laugh]
You'll do great in whatever world you get after this - I know it. Someone like you will always do great things.
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[sinerity will CONQUER THE NEW WORLD]
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Oh... but I am thinking of striking up a deal for something, just in case.
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[and then mizuki says that they were going to FORCE SOMEONE TO BEAUTY ANYWAY so senri was forced into agreeing before things got out of hand, cry]
Just so you know....
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the comment from speed dating]
... Cheri sure likes to embarrass me...
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Well... I've just been trying to follow your advice, you know?
Trying to leave here without any regrets.
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You have to ring me up first thing. Maybe second thing - but I'll only accept being second to Jude-kun or Madopyon.
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Tama-chin said that you haven't all decided as a pantheon if you can contact people from your old lives... but I think you should totally make a rule that says you can talk to the people you've met here. Nothing to hide, you know?
[senri shut up]
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[and he just offers up a smile]
I'm sure there are people from Cheri's past life that miss you too.
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...yeah, probably. [he chuckles]
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But... Tama-chin has a problem of holding all his problems to himself. I don't think you're the same but... I'm here to listen, if you ever want an ear.
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Pretty sure they'd be relieved at first, then realize how empty their lives are without me. [...] Which sounds bad, but whatever! It's true!
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My life would be way emptier without you! How does someone not realize that right away?!
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