[ishi is... not letting go. this is just a thing that's going to continue happening, because it seems like they could both use it; he definitely can, much as he would never admit it out loud.]
It isn't fair to you, especially not to those of you who never wanted it to be this way. It does not matter whether we will come back or not, because it has still happened, and whether we are able to forget it or not... will it be that easy for you?
[this is the sort of thing they cannot forget, because that's how it happens again. that's how these cycles repeat, and that can't happen.]
...I am tired of the same thing. Our duty sometimes means it is necessary to kill, or to stand by and not interfere with a death that history has dictated. Ignoring the course of history and altering it without care leads only to becoming corrupt, but still, I--
We made it happen once. Once, out of all those times we had to let humans die. Perhaps that one time has... clouded my judgment, but I cannot forget that it was not impossible after all.
[for all his current sorrow, he's still trying to hold on to that, even though he's admitted how hopeless it feels. there was a way then. there might still be a way now.
[Ishi is maybe the only person who can get away with this. Well, no, Taka could, but Taka's not here and Ishi's way too remnant of somebody Jack remembers from the old life. So yeah, a hug can continue.]
I worry about some of the younger ones who have to deal with knowing. Some of them are really just kids. But...no. We can't erase our memories of this the way we may be able to for you guys. I don't know if I'd want to anyway, but it's...hard. Sometimes.
[He can admit that, at least.] ...likewise, it's probably hard to give up when you know if you just try again, maybe it'll work. That's the tricky thing about hope. You don't give up even when it's...bad.
Clouded judgment or not, I'd rather you guys keep fighting than give up. That doesn't mean you can't be sad about what happened this time.
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no subject
[ishi is... not letting go. this is just a thing that's going to continue happening, because it seems like they could both use it; he definitely can, much as he would never admit it out loud.]
It isn't fair to you, especially not to those of you who never wanted it to be this way. It does not matter whether we will come back or not, because it has still happened, and whether we are able to forget it or not... will it be that easy for you?
[this is the sort of thing they cannot forget, because that's how it happens again. that's how these cycles repeat, and that can't happen.]
...I am tired of the same thing. Our duty sometimes means it is necessary to kill, or to stand by and not interfere with a death that history has dictated. Ignoring the course of history and altering it without care leads only to becoming corrupt, but still, I--
We made it happen once. Once, out of all those times we had to let humans die. Perhaps that one time has... clouded my judgment, but I cannot forget that it was not impossible after all.
[for all his current sorrow, he's still trying to hold on to that, even though he's admitted how hopeless it feels. there was a way then. there might still be a way now.
but what if there's really not?]
no subject
I worry about some of the younger ones who have to deal with knowing. Some of them are really just kids. But...no. We can't erase our memories of this the way we may be able to for you guys. I don't know if I'd want to anyway, but it's...hard. Sometimes.
[He can admit that, at least.] ...likewise, it's probably hard to give up when you know if you just try again, maybe it'll work. That's the tricky thing about hope. You don't give up even when it's...bad.
Clouded judgment or not, I'd rather you guys keep fighting than give up. That doesn't mean you can't be sad about what happened this time.