No...if you still wish to choose me, I won't ask for anything. In the end, I plan on doing my part. I was worried, because I had an understanding with Ambition similar to Cunning's--that if she won, she'd give me my platform and let me help her lead appropriately.
That's why, when I realized just how likely it was that I may win after all, I had to inform her that this hadn't been a plan of my own design. You understand, don't you? If she felt that she'd been double-crossed by me, that I'd manipulated her feelings, things would only get worse in the future. It would start a chain of negativity that would erase all of the development that she and others have had over these past several weeks.
...but she knows, now. She won't be blindsided, so she'll accept whatever happens without drawing damaging conclusions. I'm still wary of how our relationship will change in the immediate future, but as angry as Senri is with me, he has the chance to reconcile with her and I believe that I may have the same chance...at least in due time.
[He holds onto Ishi's support like a lifeline of courage.]
So please, just follow your heart. I will act accordingly no matter what the final tally brings.
...that explains a couple of things, I suppose. I do wish you had said something and left that to us-- we could have made it clear to her that you did not organize anything. Allowing Nito-kun to tell her in the first place may have avoided any such hurt.
[but he exhales a slow breath, giving his head a slight shake. he doesn't let go of ion's hand.]
If that is what you meant when you said you didn't wish to tarnish any trust, then allow Nito-kun to do what he does best and work with her. I have faith that he can help sort things out.
I would have left it to him if he hadn't already expressed that he didn't wish her to know.
[But he seems to feel a bit better, now, his shoulders starting to relax.]
...there's still a lot that I still have to learn, too. I work hard, but there are many emotions and complex situations that I haven't experienced in my short lifetime. I realize that I misjudged, but it was never my intention to further any ill will between anyone. To cause hurt or anxiety...
It will be all right. We will see to that as well as we can; just bear this in mind in the future.
[his tone is gentle, there, but he holds ion's gaze steadily.]
But, Ion- should this be resolved enough for us to have some certainty it will not harm the future harmony of the pantheon... will you still say you do not wish to win?
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No...if you still wish to choose me, I won't ask for anything. In the end, I plan on doing my part. I was worried, because I had an understanding with Ambition similar to Cunning's--that if she won, she'd give me my platform and let me help her lead appropriately.
That's why, when I realized just how likely it was that I may win after all, I had to inform her that this hadn't been a plan of my own design. You understand, don't you? If she felt that she'd been double-crossed by me, that I'd manipulated her feelings, things would only get worse in the future. It would start a chain of negativity that would erase all of the development that she and others have had over these past several weeks.
...but she knows, now. She won't be blindsided, so she'll accept whatever happens without drawing damaging conclusions. I'm still wary of how our relationship will change in the immediate future, but as angry as Senri is with me, he has the chance to reconcile with her and I believe that I may have the same chance...at least in due time.
[He holds onto Ishi's support like a lifeline of courage.]
So please, just follow your heart. I will act accordingly no matter what the final tally brings.
no subject
[but he exhales a slow breath, giving his head a slight shake. he doesn't let go of ion's hand.]
If that is what you meant when you said you didn't wish to tarnish any trust, then allow Nito-kun to do what he does best and work with her. I have faith that he can help sort things out.
no subject
[But he seems to feel a bit better, now, his shoulders starting to relax.]
...there's still a lot that I still have to learn, too. I work hard, but there are many emotions and complex situations that I haven't experienced in my short lifetime. I realize that I misjudged, but it was never my intention to further any ill will between anyone. To cause hurt or anxiety...
I'm really so, so sorry.
no subject
[his tone is gentle, there, but he holds ion's gaze steadily.]
But, Ion- should this be resolved enough for us to have some certainty it will not harm the future harmony of the pantheon... will you still say you do not wish to win?
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So long as it's resolved, I wouldn't reject the responsibility. It would be my honor.
[And then he looks down, and away.]
I'll leave it to all of you.
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[ishi gives his hand a gentle little squeeze, before finally releasing it and giving him a small smile.]
I need to go speak with them again, but if you have any need of me, please-- call on me.
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[Nodding his ascent, Ion folds his hands in his lap.]