That selflessness of yours is going to drive me crazy someday soon, Tamaki-kun. [ they laugh under their breath. ] Listen to us - just trying to sacrifice for each other, back and forth. It's really embarrassing.
[ sooner or later, one of them is going to have to budge... and it's going to be them, because they're supposed to be ready to throw away anything to help people. They know that. They just don't like it. They don't want to let this good, innocent boy down. But part of the reason they came here was to talk about it.
There's a long pause; Mizuki averts their eyes, idly drawing a finger through their long hair. Then, finally, they continue, voice serious. ]
... Tamaki-kun. I think I'm going to have to defect tonight. I want to make sure this game ends properly. [ ... ] I'm sorry. I failed you. The only thing I could promise you was my loyalty, but in the end, I couldn't manage that, either.
It's why we belonged together, Mizuki-san. [Calmly. He seems to be implying he imagined they shared that trait, but that was definitely a wild guess. He couldn't have known how they would get along.
Still...he bows his head a bit though there's still a soft smile.]
This isn't failure. You've stayed with me for this long, and you've kept me alive. I can never truly repay you for such a gift. I want you to be able to receive your wish, and right things in your world. You deserve to be happy and achieve your goals. And if you can accomplish that, then I consider this a victory with or without my involvement.
[ he's so damned nice. Mizuki almost wishes he'd hate them a little bit for what they have to do - it would make this all easier in the end. They don't want this game to conclude with them apart and with him losing. They should have tried harder to win. They let too many things complicate their vision -- then again, Tamaki is just one of those things, too.
They sigh - their breath is a little shaky. ]
... Mm. You're right. For me, this should be a victory. But... I don't feel happy.
[ they wonder why they're the way that they are. Why can't they be stronger...? They've tried so hard to distance themself from their emotions, but their heart is still breaking for being yet another person that has to leave this lonely boy behind. ]
When I go, you won't have any followers left. You're all right with that...?
[It's just a sacrifice, he thinks. It's worth it if Mizuki can get what they deserve, and he's always known they'd have to split up anyway. It's sad, of course. But...]
Give it time...it will be worth it in the end, even if it's...bittersweet, I guess. I've been told that sometimes the sad things turn out to be happy things with time and distance.
[But he shrugs a little.] The game's over as of tomorrow morning. I won't be in danger, and...should Piety be the victor, I imagine he'll take care to ensure we're all heard. It'll be alright.
I know...[A half-smile.] Someone once came to me to ask if they should switch to me, to ensure that I'd be alright. And I told them it wasn't necessary because I had you and you would stay with me as long as possible. I've never doubted that.
[He nods though.] I'll remember everything. My mortal life, this game, and everything to come. We'll have an eternity to create new memories but they won't replace the old.
[ they feel like they can guess who that was... but they don't want to think about him right now. ]
Good. Then I want you to hold onto that for me. [ they gesture to the ribbon with their eyes, then smile, a little sadly. ] ... I've never been the religious type, you know. But when this is all over, I think I'll start praying for you. Maybe if I wish hard enough, you'll come running down a hallway for me again.
[He's keeping the ribbon safe, holding it gingerly as if he's afraid it'll fall apart in his hands if he's not extra-careful. But he manages a laugh all the same, smile brighter as he nods in agreement.]
I think...even when this is over, we'll be able to hear it. I want to believe this won't be the last time we meet, Mizuki-san, but we'll need a bit of help. [So prayer sounds legit, he thinks.] I'll keep this safe until the next time then. You have my word.
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[ sooner or later, one of them is going to have to budge... and it's going to be them, because they're supposed to be ready to throw away anything to help people. They know that. They just don't like it. They don't want to let this good, innocent boy down. But part of the reason they came here was to talk about it.
There's a long pause; Mizuki averts their eyes, idly drawing a finger through their long hair. Then, finally, they continue, voice serious. ]
... Tamaki-kun. I think I'm going to have to defect tonight. I want to make sure this game ends properly. [ ... ] I'm sorry. I failed you. The only thing I could promise you was my loyalty, but in the end, I couldn't manage that, either.
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Still...he bows his head a bit though there's still a soft smile.]
This isn't failure. You've stayed with me for this long, and you've kept me alive. I can never truly repay you for such a gift. I want you to be able to receive your wish, and right things in your world. You deserve to be happy and achieve your goals. And if you can accomplish that, then I consider this a victory with or without my involvement.
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They sigh - their breath is a little shaky. ]
... Mm. You're right. For me, this should be a victory. But... I don't feel happy.
[ they wonder why they're the way that they are. Why can't they be stronger...? They've tried so hard to distance themself from their emotions, but their heart is still breaking for being yet another person that has to leave this lonely boy behind. ]
When I go, you won't have any followers left. You're all right with that...?
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Give it time...it will be worth it in the end, even if it's...bittersweet, I guess. I've been told that sometimes the sad things turn out to be happy things with time and distance.
[But he shrugs a little.] The game's over as of tomorrow morning. I won't be in danger, and...should Piety be the victor, I imagine he'll take care to ensure we're all heard. It'll be alright.
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He'd better. That's why I'm choosing him. [ pause. ] ... In a perfect world, I'd stay with you until the very end. I want you to know that.
[ they pause again, quietly folding their hands in their lap. ]
Tamaki-kun, are you going to remember this? Your old life, and what happened here?
[ or is he going to fade into the essence of the planet - in the beautiful things, quietly watching over life, a concept like Kaname-chan? ]
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[He nods though.] I'll remember everything. My mortal life, this game, and everything to come. We'll have an eternity to create new memories but they won't replace the old.
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Good. Then I want you to hold onto that for me. [ they gesture to the ribbon with their eyes, then smile, a little sadly. ] ... I've never been the religious type, you know. But when this is all over, I think I'll start praying for you. Maybe if I wish hard enough, you'll come running down a hallway for me again.
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I think...even when this is over, we'll be able to hear it. I want to believe this won't be the last time we meet, Mizuki-san, but we'll need a bit of help. [So prayer sounds legit, he thinks.] I'll keep this safe until the next time then. You have my word.