[...well. That's like. Not super hard to figure out what that's a reference to, and maybe it's weird to be on the other end. However, there's a pause before she says his own words back to him.]
But somehow, he still wasn't ready for the force of those words slamming into his chest. He breathes in slow, his eyes falling shut, and when he sighs out, his breath shakes.
Yu swallows and opens his eyes again, and they're overbright. You could shatter him to pieces with the slightest breath. ]
[It's hard to look at him. It's hard to face him like this, when she knows this actually isn't the best time and when he might break. She should have tried harder to get him not to say it, or done something so he wouldn't ask her.
...but he says that name, and there's a moment where she goes perfectly still.
Silently she begins to move, delicate hands reaching up to begin unwinding the cloth around her head and pulling the hood down inch by inch.
It's the hair first. It's the long, thick auburn hair carefully brushed back into even twintails that flutter to her back and down to her shoulders. It's hair that's perfectly in place and styled as though she's used to making appearances, and the cloak pools around her shoulders, almost swallowing her up.
...but no, the cloak goes next, fingers nimble and moving to unhook the fabric and let it fall off into a pile on the floor, revealing signature colors underneath. Maybe sitting on the floor in a white skirt is a bad idea, but whatever.
And in the end, it's the moment before manicured nails reach up to grip the edge of her mask that she actually pauses. It's stupid to stop now, given the fact she's almost there, but with a very slow motion the mask is pried off and set face-down on the floor.]
[Brown eyes look at him quizzically, uncertainty in her expression because she's still not sure this is the right moment. But she's always been pretty bad at saying no to him, so she sits with her hands folded primly in her lap, steady gaze on him all the same.]
...you've been through a lot, too, haven't you, Senpai?
[Another callback, but also an answer. Hello, Yu.]
When they first met, when he told her his story and she tried to tear her mask off her face in response, he hadn't had the slightest idea why. He truly had thought he'd frightened her somehow, or made her uncomfortable. But as days and then weeks passed, it had made first less, and then, slowly ... more sense.
There had been more clues. Bonds showing up in the guidelines. Words she'd said to him, I'm with you. Telling him up front without reservation he'd been the one she fought the hardest for. The dance studio. A dance studio, the place he could always find her. Her absolute insistence that no one kill for her, that killing wasn't the right way.
Little things. Moments from their time together. Her reactions to all his offerings for her, the simple delight she'd had for card tricks. The whole time, the whole time, her uncanny ability to make him smile, make him laugh, somehow always set him at ease. The words she'd say that somehow felt so familiar.
And then he heard her vision for the world she'd create.
And she was Love. A goddess of Love.
And that was that.
All along, from the very start. The Lovers, right before him, hiding in plain sight. ]
[ He should be stronger. He should be stronger for her.
But the simple sweetness of her, her slim unbending strength, her tumbling hair and the light in her eyes, the breath in her chest because she's alive--
His armor doesn't just crack. It explodes into dust, and scatters to the wind. ]
Rise.
[ That's it. That's just it. It doesn't matter to him they're sitting on the floor, that it'll be harder like this, their bodies at awkward angles. He doesn't care. He practically falls over himself shifting to her side, and pulls her into his arms without a word, hugging her so, so tight. ]
Rise, [ he chokes out, one more time, and god, he just starts to cry. ]
[She doesn't cry but she feels her heart break the moment he starts to cry and desperately holds her. The floor isn't the best place to do this, but she immediately slates herself into his arms. She hugs him back with a firm, solid grip to ensure she's here, she's alive, she's not letting him go anytime soon.]
It's okay...it's okay, I'm here. I'm right here. [It's all she can say to him as she refuses to let go, hoping he finds some comfort in that. Even at his lowest, he'll never be alone. His bonds still persisted even now.]
[ God. He's got one arm around her middle, the other hand clutching the back of her head, and their awkward position on the floor means they're clinging to each other more than really holding one another. He feels weak, so, so weak to crack like this, because he can only imagine how it's been for her, how hard it's been for her, how hard she's been working all this time--
[That's fine, apparently, since she's not pushing him away or trying to get him to let go. She holds on and keeps him close, letting his hands move wherever and leaning into his touch when he does pull back.
She doesn't speak immediately, but when she does her voice is quiet.]
...you were right here with me. Was that really waiting? I knew you'd come around someday.
[ The words rise like bile in his throat, I should have done more, so much more to support you--
But he already knows what she'd say. What she'd want him to think, to feel. And he swallows it back down, because it wouldn't help either of them. Because she's right: they've both been here all along.
For the first time he introduces a little space between them, but only a little; they're maybe an inch or two apart. His face is wet with tears, as he blinks they keep falling, but he's no longer wracked with sobs. There's just pain there, and a powerful, bittersweet joy. It spills out of him, the honesty. ]
I think I've known for a while now. But convincing myself you were really still alive...
[ ... ]
No. You're here. We're here. That's what matters now.
[Instinctively, a hand comes up to wipe away his tears. He's moved backwards but she doesn't let him get too far. She's keeping him close as they stay connected and she's quiet as she listens to him speak.]
I wanted to tell you for a long time, but it's against our rules. I wasn't even sure I could this time, but...the rest of them know. So I thought it must be time. Senpai, you've been through so much these last couple of weeks...I'm sorry I couldn't support you better. But we'll be able to protect each other better now...won't we?
[ God. Every place she touches his skin, even the merest brush, feels like a live wire jacked directly into his heart. Small bright bursts of feeling. The look on his face is impossibly tender. ]
You have nothing to be sorry for. [ hushed, but with such passion. Yu leans in again, closes that small gap between for what can only be called a nuzzle, their noses bumping gently. His eyes flutter shut. ] We will. I'll see you every day, if you'll have me. I should have been doing that a long time ago.
[Despite her feelings about being witness to Yu flirting with so many other people, when he's here with her it's easier to feel nothing but fondness and, you know, love for him. He nuzzles at her face and she laughs softly, allowing the movement as she keeps her hands on him just as gently.]
You've been busy. I understand. But you know where to find me now...so every day, okay? Even if it's just for a few minutes, just so I know you're okay.
[ God. Hearing her laugh could snap him in half all over again. It is so, so good to hear her laugh that the sound of it actually makes tears prick at the corners of his eyes again, though it couldn't be for a more different reason this time around. Being around her, being with her, is slowly mending all the fissures this trial, this day, had carved into his heart. ]
Every day. [ His conviction is absolute. And they're so close, maybe she can feel the way he's starting to grin. ] You won't be able to get rid of me. You sure that's what you want?
[ There's a pause, and then he huffs a voiceless laugh. Carefully, so he can do this without dislodging her, he'll sit up properly so that, for the first time, Yu can draw Rise into his arms for real.
But there's a stillness in him like a held breath. He's just ... looking at her, eyes searching her face, a strange and soft smile on his lips. ]
Rise...
[ He lifts a hand, brushes the side of her face with his fingertips. ]
[Well that's fine, she'll cozy up in his arms and keep hers around his for a proper hug, sort of burrowing into his chest because a.) she's missed him and b.) she can. It doesn't last long because she looks up at him, letting him examine her features even as she sits still with wide eyes and a perplexed look on her face. She stays still when he reaches for her face again, and she finds herself grateful she could finally remove the stupid mask.]
...about what? [She thinks she knows, but she doesn't want to assume. Not after everything, and while she would normally take charge...this is a different and much more fragile situation.]
[ She doesn't. She doesn't know. What she asked him at the lake now makes more sense, tugs at him, even. Did she really think he... with--?
No.
Carefully, Yu presses his hand to her jaw instead, cupping her face just so. The look on his face is so, so complicated, but his eyes are locked on hers. ]
[ Again that voiceless laugh, this time wry. Yu shakes his head minutely. ]
I know what people think about me.
[ What they say, or maybe guess, teasing or otherwise. It doesn't bother him -- he knows that the way he is makes people think it, for one reason or another, though that's never his intent.
But.
His thumb brushes her cheek. ]
But what they think doesn't matter. Rise, I love you.
[ Apparently, for him, it's just that simple. Maybe it always has been. ]
i want you to know this is so fucking funny with a souyo icon
[She allows him to continue cradling her face, taking time to look at him thoughtfully.]
...back home...you said no because you knew we would be leaving each other at the end of the school year anyway, huh? Somehow you always knew what I was going to do. [That's easier to grapple than Yu rejecting her because he didn't love her before now. But the smile grows.]
You already know how much I love you. It's always been that way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Because, honestly,
he thought he'd agonize over it,
and the words come out so easily, instead. ]
Who are you?
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My answer didn't change from last time, you know.
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But in the two weeks since, his has.
He recites these words softly, from memory: ]
Love, have you ever thought that you're pushing yourself too far, or that you were just acting?
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...all the time.
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But somehow, he still wasn't ready for the force of those words slamming into his chest. He breathes in slow, his eyes falling shut, and when he sighs out, his breath shakes.
Yu swallows and opens his eyes again, and they're overbright. You could shatter him to pieces with the slightest breath. ]
Rise.
[ It's a whisper.
And a question, and a plea. ]
1/2
...but he says that name, and there's a moment where she goes perfectly still.
Silently she begins to move, delicate hands reaching up to begin unwinding the cloth around her head and pulling the hood down inch by inch.
It's the hair first. It's the long, thick auburn hair carefully brushed back into even twintails that flutter to her back and down to her shoulders. It's hair that's perfectly in place and styled as though she's used to making appearances, and the cloak pools around her shoulders, almost swallowing her up.
...but no, the cloak goes next, fingers nimble and moving to unhook the fabric and let it fall off into a pile on the floor, revealing signature colors underneath. Maybe sitting on the floor in a white skirt is a bad idea, but whatever.
And in the end, it's the moment before manicured nails reach up to grip the edge of her mask that she actually pauses. It's stupid to stop now, given the fact she's almost there, but with a very slow motion the mask is pried off and set face-down on the floor.]
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...you've been through a lot, too, haven't you, Senpai?
[Another callback, but also an answer. Hello, Yu.]
1/2
When they first met, when he told her his story and she tried to tear her mask off her face in response, he hadn't had the slightest idea why. He truly had thought he'd frightened her somehow, or made her uncomfortable. But as days and then weeks passed, it had made first less, and then, slowly ... more sense.
There had been more clues. Bonds showing up in the guidelines. Words she'd said to him, I'm with you. Telling him up front without reservation he'd been the one she fought the hardest for. The dance studio. A dance studio, the place he could always find her. Her absolute insistence that no one kill for her, that killing wasn't the right way.
Little things. Moments from their time together. Her reactions to all his offerings for her, the simple delight she'd had for card tricks. The whole time, the whole time, her uncanny ability to make him smile, make him laugh, somehow always set him at ease. The words she'd say that somehow felt so familiar.
And then he heard her vision for the world she'd create.
And she was Love. A goddess of Love.
And that was that.
All along, from the very start. The Lovers, right before him, hiding in plain sight. ]
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But the simple sweetness of her, her slim unbending strength, her tumbling hair and the light in her eyes, the breath in her chest because she's alive--
His armor doesn't just crack. It explodes into dust, and scatters to the wind. ]
Rise.
[ That's it. That's just it. It doesn't matter to him they're sitting on the floor, that it'll be harder like this, their bodies at awkward angles. He doesn't care. He practically falls over himself shifting to her side, and pulls her into his arms without a word, hugging her so, so tight. ]
Rise, [ he chokes out, one more time, and god, he just starts to cry. ]
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It's okay...it's okay, I'm here. I'm right here. [It's all she can say to him as she refuses to let go, hoping he finds some comfort in that. Even at his lowest, he'll never be alone. His bonds still persisted even now.]
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Rise. She's real. She's here. She's alive.
Even in sobbing he's such a quiet person. And when he eventually pulls back, it's only to cup her face in both his hands and press his forehead to hers. ]
I made you wait, [ he whispers. ] Sorry it took me so long. Rise.
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She doesn't speak immediately, but when she does her voice is quiet.]
...you were right here with me. Was that really waiting? I knew you'd come around someday.
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But he already knows what she'd say. What she'd want him to think, to feel. And he swallows it back down, because it wouldn't help either of them. Because she's right: they've both been here all along.
For the first time he introduces a little space between them, but only a little; they're maybe an inch or two apart. His face is wet with tears, as he blinks they keep falling, but he's no longer wracked with sobs. There's just pain there, and a powerful, bittersweet joy. It spills out of him, the honesty. ]
I think I've known for a while now. But convincing myself you were really still alive...
[ ... ]
No. You're here. We're here. That's what matters now.
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I wanted to tell you for a long time, but it's against our rules. I wasn't even sure I could this time, but...the rest of them know. So I thought it must be time. Senpai, you've been through so much these last couple of weeks...I'm sorry I couldn't support you better. But we'll be able to protect each other better now...won't we?
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You have nothing to be sorry for. [ hushed, but with such passion. Yu leans in again, closes that small gap between for what can only be called a nuzzle, their noses bumping gently. His eyes flutter shut. ] We will. I'll see you every day, if you'll have me. I should have been doing that a long time ago.
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You've been busy. I understand. But you know where to find me now...so every day, okay? Even if it's just for a few minutes, just so I know you're okay.
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Every day. [ His conviction is absolute. And they're so close, maybe she can feel the way he's starting to grin. ] You won't be able to get rid of me. You sure that's what you want?
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Every day you have a little time for me is a day I want.
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But there's a stillness in him like a held breath. He's just ... looking at her, eyes searching her face, a strange and soft smile on his lips. ]
Rise...
[ He lifts a hand, brushes the side of her face with his fingertips. ]
There's no way you can't know, right?
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...about what? [She thinks she knows, but she doesn't want to assume. Not after everything, and while she would normally take charge...this is a different and much more fragile situation.]
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No.
Carefully, Yu presses his hand to her jaw instead, cupping her face just so. The look on his face is so, so complicated, but his eyes are locked on hers. ]
... that for me, it's always been you.
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...really? But what about...[Literally everyone else.] Do you mean that?
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I know what people think about me.
[ What they say, or maybe guess, teasing or otherwise. It doesn't bother him -- he knows that the way he is makes people think it, for one reason or another, though that's never his intent.
But.
His thumb brushes her cheek. ]
But what they think doesn't matter. Rise, I love you.
[ Apparently, for him, it's just that simple. Maybe it always has been. ]
i want you to know this is so fucking funny with a souyo icon
...back home...you said no because you knew we would be leaving each other at the end of the school year anyway, huh? Somehow you always knew what I was going to do. [That's easier to grapple than Yu rejecting her because he didn't love her before now. But the smile grows.]
You already know how much I love you. It's always been that way.
I KNOW I DON'T HAVE MUCH ELSE IT BLOWS.
... yeah. However I felt ... it seemed best not to start anything when I knew I'd be leaving. But you know... I had a lot of time to think this week.
[ With faint humor. Though his smile tinges a sad. ]
And however this game ends...
[ ... she'll be a god ...
... and he'll be mortal. ]
... I realized that if I didn't want any regrets, for either of us, I had to tell you how I felt.
im dying
no, kill me before you die
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