[ Yu pauses, not sure how to express this. Even back home -- perhaps especially back home -- he had a tendency to hide it whenever things weren't all well with him. Admitting to it honestly feels like ... like a loss -- like he's not strong enough to keep it all within.
He'll stay quiet for an extended moment before finally swallowing. This person is a god. His god. He should be honest. ]
I've been having nightmares when I try to sleep, [ he finally admits, so soft it's nearly a whisper. ]
[Love isn't sure how to reply, so after a short moment they reach out to try and take Yu's hands.]
Bad ones? [They must be if he can't sleep. It's hard to imagine.] Do you...I don't know if you want to talk about them, but it might help ease your mind a little?
[Oh. Those sure are some bad dreams. Love's grip is tight in his hands, holding him down and supporting him as best as they can. There isn't anything they can do other than be there for him as he speaks, but when they reply their voice is smaller, sadder.]
That must be really hard...you've very close to them, aren't you? [They're still holding his hands.] It's not over yet. I promise. There's still time but...I know that doesn't change what's happened.
...maybe I can try to do something about the nightmares. [Like what? Who knows.]
[ low, straightforward, and for a moment he shuts his eyes. there's no point in pretending otherwise. continuing to put one foot in front of the other when he knows he watched them die has been the hardest thing he's ever done.
his expression is complicated when he looks up at Love again. he won't contradict his god, but he'll only nod. this is why he's here, after all. to save them.
They loved you more than anything. That's pretty obvious. [What a hard thing to cope with though. They don't press again, giving Yu time to process what he's said and think it over. When he nods, they squeeze his hands gently.]
Normally I can't give out rewards or anything unless you do something for me. God rules. Otherwise I'd try to find something like sleeping pills or a way to ease the nightmares. But you need to rest. I know it's not much, but there are ways to make rooms unavailable. Like this one. I could try to make it as comfortable for you as possible.
The past tense of it threatens to break him in two, but in the end he just pulls in a slow breath. Jaw tight, he'll swallow and nod shallowly, and let the topic go. Even thinking about his friends right now is still ... awfully hard.
The offer gets his expression to soften again, and he'll glance over at the door. ]
Did you know Mizuno-san is an idol? [ He looks back at Love. ] And Rachel-san is a performer, too.
[ Yu offers a ghost of a smile. ] I don't want to tie this room up for my own selfish needs. But ... I appreciate it. Really.
[It's hard, isn't it? They know it's hard to hear, but sometimes love hurts. They don't chase that thought and they hold his hands all the same.]
I didn't, no. I haven't had the chance to speak with them, but maybe I will now. They may find this room useful, too. [Love shakes their head though.] Is it really selfish if it's my room? Don't be stubborn. I insist, actually.
[Love just. Grabs Yu's hands and steers him so he can see a small pile of blankets and pillows on a dance mat in the corner. Does Love nap in here between meetings? Who the fuck knows.]
[NAP TIME. The nest is mostly cozy and when Love leads him to it there's a moment they step away and allow Yu the freedom to lay himself down. They'll also just settle on the floor next to him, waiting patiently for him to get settled.]
I wish I had something better, but this'll have to do.
[ ... he really can't say no to this, can he. What was the last time someone made him rest...
( ... he remembers suddenly in a cold flash, that it was in December, after everything was over, and he got sick-- they all took care of him )
With a sigh he'll resign himself to his obvious fate and toe off his shoes, setting them to one side so he can get settled. For a moment he remains sitting up, watching Love inscrutably. ]
It's more than enough. [ quietly, but with great feeling. ]
[ That's it, then. After a pause, Yu will nod, and he'll actually lie down and stretch out. Naturally, once he puts his head down, the exhaustion he's been holding at bay slams into him; his eyes are gritty. He'll sigh and shut his eyes, and for a moment that seems like it might be it.
But he's not asleep yet. A few minutes later his eyes will blink open, and he'll look up at Love, disarmed.
Somewhat hesitatingly, he'll stretch a hand out to them. ]
[They're content to leave him there, but as he opens his eyes and looks at them they pause in their movements. As Yu reaches out with a hand, there's another slow movement before they thread their fingers back with his. Something to ground him, perhaps? They don't mind in the slightest and instead they scoot along the floor to be closer to the small blanket nest, holding his hand and settling in right there.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Yu pauses, not sure how to express this. Even back home -- perhaps especially back home -- he had a tendency to hide it whenever things weren't all well with him. Admitting to it honestly feels like ... like a loss -- like he's not strong enough to keep it all within.
He'll stay quiet for an extended moment before finally swallowing. This person is a god. His god. He should be honest. ]
I've been having nightmares when I try to sleep, [ he finally admits, so soft it's nearly a whisper. ]
no subject
Bad ones? [They must be if he can't sleep. It's hard to imagine.] Do you...I don't know if you want to talk about them, but it might help ease your mind a little?
no subject
... I keep hearing their voices.
[ Yu-kun!
SENPAI! ]
When I close my eyes, I watch Izanami take them, and--
[ Yu stops himself abruptly. After a tense moment, he only shakes his head, a small, tight motion. ]
no subject
That must be really hard...you've very close to them, aren't you? [They're still holding his hands.] It's not over yet. I promise. There's still time but...I know that doesn't change what's happened.
...maybe I can try to do something about the nightmares. [Like what? Who knows.]
no subject
[ low, straightforward, and for a moment he shuts his eyes. there's no point in pretending otherwise. continuing to put one foot in front of the other when he knows he watched them die has been the hardest thing he's ever done.
his expression is complicated when he looks up at Love again. he won't contradict his god, but he'll only nod. this is why he's here, after all. to save them.
a slight head tilt. ]
Do something?
no subject
Normally I can't give out rewards or anything unless you do something for me. God rules. Otherwise I'd try to find something like sleeping pills or a way to ease the nightmares. But you need to rest. I know it's not much, but there are ways to make rooms unavailable. Like this one. I could try to make it as comfortable for you as possible.
no subject
The past tense of it threatens to break him in two, but in the end he just pulls in a slow breath. Jaw tight, he'll swallow and nod shallowly, and let the topic go. Even thinking about his friends right now is still ... awfully hard.
The offer gets his expression to soften again, and he'll glance over at the door. ]
Did you know Mizuno-san is an idol? [ He looks back at Love. ] And Rachel-san is a performer, too.
[ Yu offers a ghost of a smile. ] I don't want to tie this room up for my own selfish needs. But ... I appreciate it. Really.
no subject
I didn't, no. I haven't had the chance to speak with them, but maybe I will now. They may find this room useful, too. [Love shakes their head though.] Is it really selfish if it's my room? Don't be stubborn. I insist, actually.
no subject
... if my god insists, I guess I can't say no?
[ just kinda. like, venturing that. ]
no subject
no subject
it's nap time, he supposes?
honestly he just kind of lets it happen, going along agreeably. though he will laugh a little and say: ]
Looks comfy.
[ ... for a moment he considers protesting again; this space is clearly Love's, and he feels like he's intruding on it.
... but he takes another look at the small god firmly holding both his hands, and ... thinks better of it, simply allowing himself to be guided. ]
no subject
I wish I had something better, but this'll have to do.
no subject
( ... he remembers suddenly in a cold flash, that it was in December, after everything was over, and he got sick-- they all took care of him )
With a sigh he'll resign himself to his obvious fate and toe off his shoes, setting them to one side so he can get settled. For a moment he remains sitting up, watching Love inscrutably. ]
It's more than enough. [ quietly, but with great feeling. ]
no subject
For as long as I can make it last, you'll be safe with me. I promise.
no subject
But he's not asleep yet. A few minutes later his eyes will blink open, and he'll look up at Love, disarmed.
Somewhat hesitatingly, he'll stretch a hand out to them. ]
no subject
Go to sleep, Narukami.]
no subject
There's the faintest smile on his face when he finally lets himself drift off to sleep. ]