[That's because Senri's a fucking fool and Rise's also generally a little more intuitive. Which is to say that without the mask it's easier to see that her expression softens just a little. Ray's prickly and also sometimes more mature than herself, but this is still hard.]
[he remains silent for a while, before he speaks. he keeps his expression neutral.]
The whole "making allies through being open and honest" thing was never my specialty. It was Emma's. Using others and being used, playing mind games—that's what I'm better at.
[they balance each other out. compensate for each other's weaknesses.]
... She's not here, though, so I thought I'd give it a try in her stead. [only to have it backfire, and in his single greatest leap of faith in this game, no less.] That was a mistake, and I should've known it'd be. I'm not nearly as suited for it as she is.
[She doesn't rush him or anything, simply leaning back and waiting for him to speak. It's...similar to what she might have expected given their past conversations and what she knows about Ray in general.]
...do you really think I was ever suited to be a god or an idol or a detective? [This isn't about her, but there's a point.]
...my real name is Rise Kujikawa. My stage name was Risette, and I never wanted to be an idol anyway until someone else signed me up and entered me into a contest to become one. I won. I never thought I'd become a detective until someone else saved me and allowed me to join their team to help them. And I definitely never thought I'd become a god until I was chosen.
You don't really realize what you're capable of until other people get involved. I quit my career because I was tired of everyone telling me to be something I'm not…but during my hiatus, I started thinking about how I really did like the way I had grown. The people around me helped me realize that, and I found a way to be the person I wanted to be and the person I needed to be.
…I know you don't think you're suited for this. And I know it feels like it was a mistake, and maybe it was, but I never thought you'd just give up either. I chose you for a reason.
I'm not giving up; I'm just readjusting my strategy. These people aren't my family, and it's not like I'll ever be seeing them again after this competition, so why should I care about them?
[it's callous, maybe, but it's said as someone who before now has only ever known two types of people: other cattle children with the same goal, and everyone else. not coincidentally, everyone in the latter category has been his enemy. his lack of experience in that regard may be his disadvantage.
he knows that closing himself off like this will be lonely, all the more so when being apart from his family has already disrupted his stability. but love—rise—had asked him if he thought people like him deserved happiness, and truth be told, the answer doesn't matter.
regardless of which it is, he doesn't expect happiness for himself. he never has.]
[Still not exactly a surprise, but unfortunately Love is a very stubborn girl.]
…I can't force you to care about people either, but at the same time you know you can't force people not to care about you, right? Like. You know that's bound to happen. Senri, Zoe…me? What about those people?
Alright. Then can you do something for me? If you're going to use me, at least give me a heads up. You're not the only person I'm trying to protect here, and if something happens to me I have to make sure he's okay.
Probably not, but it's not like you're in danger anyway. I don't really have an interest in getting rid of you. [And then, pointedly, she pushes half of the cookie on the plate toward him.] I just really hope I'm not up for suspicion this week.
I know. And you're right. It's why we have to come up with a plan to make sure people don't vote for us. I'm pretty sure everyone aligned with me right now won't kill, but...just in case.
I know. I can see all of the trials even if I'm not there. [There's a sigh though.]
...there are at least three of you I cannot give up no matter what. Which sounds bad, because I don't want any of you getting hurt, but...um...[...] You're really important to me. I'm going to ask the other two for their opinions, too.
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which is to say that ray's eyes widen, just a tad—and he remains quiet.]
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Can I ask why?
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The whole "making allies through being open and honest" thing was never my specialty. It was Emma's. Using others and being used, playing mind games—that's what I'm better at.
[they balance each other out. compensate for each other's weaknesses.]
... She's not here, though, so I thought I'd give it a try in her stead. [only to have it backfire, and in his single greatest leap of faith in this game, no less.] That was a mistake, and I should've known it'd be. I'm not nearly as suited for it as she is.
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...do you really think I was ever suited to be a god or an idol or a detective? [This isn't about her, but there's a point.]
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It's not as if I know what you were like before all that.
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You don't really realize what you're capable of until other people get involved. I quit my career because I was tired of everyone telling me to be something I'm not…but during my hiatus, I started thinking about how I really did like the way I had grown. The people around me helped me realize that, and I found a way to be the person I wanted to be and the person I needed to be.
…I know you don't think you're suited for this. And I know it feels like it was a mistake, and maybe it was, but I never thought you'd just give up either. I chose you for a reason.
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I'm not giving up; I'm just readjusting my strategy. These people aren't my family, and it's not like I'll ever be seeing them again after this competition, so why should I care about them?
[it's callous, maybe, but it's said as someone who before now has only ever known two types of people: other cattle children with the same goal, and everyone else. not coincidentally, everyone in the latter category has been his enemy. his lack of experience in that regard may be his disadvantage.
he knows that closing himself off like this will be lonely, all the more so when being apart from his family has already disrupted his stability. but love—rise—had asked him if he thought people like him deserved happiness, and truth be told, the answer doesn't matter.
regardless of which it is, he doesn't expect happiness for himself. he never has.]
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…I can't force you to care about people either, but at the same time you know you can't force people not to care about you, right? Like. You know that's bound to happen. Senri, Zoe…me? What about those people?
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[which is precisely why he can't tell senri anything—why tell a pawn that he's (someone you're desperately trying to see as) a pawn?]
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Alright. Then can you do something for me? If you're going to use me, at least give me a heads up. You're not the only person I'm trying to protect here, and if something happens to me I have to make sure he's okay.
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... My life is in your hands, especially if you're ever voted for. It's not in my best interests to piss you off.
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Probably not, but it's not like you're in danger anyway. I don't really have an interest in getting rid of you. [And then, pointedly, she pushes half of the cookie on the plate toward him.] I just really hope I'm not up for suspicion this week.
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Careful or you might jinx yourself.
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Ugh. Let's not. [If Ray's going to be a brat, she's still reaching for her half and taking a chunk out of it.] It's still early in the week anyway...
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That's not funny! There's only six of you left, I don't have three of you I want to sacrifice if I'm voted guilty.
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Guess we can't all just abuse the same loophole Ishikirimaru did, huh?
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[A beat.] But seriously, don't joke about that.
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So yeah, you have a target on your back, regardless of whether or not any of us kill or not.
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...there are at least three of you I cannot give up no matter what. Which sounds bad, because I don't want any of you getting hurt, but...um...[...] You're really important to me. I'm going to ask the other two for their opinions, too.
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I'm guessing Yu is one of those three? You two seem fond of each other.
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...he doesn't realize it, but Narukami-kun and I have known each other for a while.
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