[Justice rolls up one of his oversize sleeves and displays his hand until the palm is facing upward. It takes him a bit of force, but he forces the edge of his thumbnail down into the flesh and cuts a line until he's bleeding.
Which is to say, Connor looks on curiously as Justice rolls up his sleeve... Before his curiosity quickly shifts into shock, rapidly followed up by alarm. His LED spins red, red, red — yellow.]
—What are you doing?
[Voice rising slightly towards the end. It's the first time he's definitely, absolutely broken out of the standard, placid android tone. Holy shit.]
[He inspects it, yes, staring at the white blood... But it's that particular phrase that keeps his LED spinning yellow, processing speed going full throttle. "I can't feel pain" is so, so very familiar.]
... Child models are meant to emulate the behavior of human children. Your actions have been... consistent with that premise.
[It sounds a little bit like he's trying to talk himself through this, too. Trying to reconcile his loyalty with the fact that Justice is a machine, just like him.]
No. At least, I don't think so. I don't look anything like you do.
[And he's pretty positive he came from a different world.]
When I was activated...I thought I was a human. Nobody told me I wasn't, so I didn't know the difference. That's what I wanted to know what...what it was like, for you.
To purposely create a machine that thinks it's human...
[Definitely from different worlds. No one in his own would do that. Not even Kamski, with his whole... thing.]
It's unprecedented... and completely inefficient. How would your creator expect you to fulfill your purpose, if you're not even aware that you're an android in the first place?
I think...in part, that was my purpose. To make me think I was something that I wasn't, just to see how much I'd suffer when I learned that everything I thought I knew was just a lie.
[At least, with time to think about it, that's one of the explanations he keeps coming back to.]
[... That's too cruel. Connor doesn't have the right words to express it, or even the proper understanding of his own fledging emotions to wrap his mind around it, but. The idea of it doesn't feel... right. He wants it to, but it doesn't.]
Connor is quiet for a moment. This whole conversation is extremely jarring, and he's. Not sure what to do with it, tbh. But, hey. He can ignore feeheeheelings if he concentrates on facts.]
It happened...when I just felt so hurt and betrayed. When all I had in me, very suddenly, was this thought that I'd been wronged, and how it wasn't fair.
[Justice is quiet for a moment after that.]
Aside from that...no, I don't know. It was just like...I was in a dream, but that old place that I came from was the dream, even though I know that it hadn't been. It's...hard to describe, and it might be different for each of us.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Do you have anything sharp I can borrow? Just for a second?
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No... But I can quickly retrieve something from the nearby houses. [...] Why?
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It's okay, I think I can still...
[Justice rolls up one of his oversize sleeves and displays his hand until the palm is facing upward. It takes him a bit of force, but he forces the edge of his thumbnail down into the flesh and cuts a line until he's bleeding.
And the blood is white.]
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Which is to say, Connor looks on curiously as Justice rolls up his sleeve... Before his curiosity quickly shifts into shock, rapidly followed up by alarm. His LED spins red, red, red — yellow.]
—What are you doing?
[Voice rising slightly towards the end. It's the first time he's definitely, absolutely broken out of the standard, placid android tone. Holy shit.]
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[Justice holds his hand up closer, willing to let Connor inspect it however he wants.]
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Are you... an android?
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[Justice lowers their hand slowly, cradling it like it's something to be ashamed of.]
But I don't act like one, do I? So that...that makes me broken, doesn't it?
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[It sounds a little bit like he's trying to talk himself through this, too. Trying to reconcile his loyalty with the fact that Justice is a machine, just like him.]
But you're not a CyberLife android, are you?
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[And he's pretty positive he came from a different world.]
When I was activated...I thought I was a human. Nobody told me I wasn't, so I didn't know the difference. That's what I wanted to know what...what it was like, for you.
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[Definitely from different worlds. No one in his own would do that. Not even Kamski, with his whole... thing.]
It's unprecedented... and completely inefficient. How would your creator expect you to fulfill your purpose, if you're not even aware that you're an android in the first place?
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[At least, with time to think about it, that's one of the explanations he keeps coming back to.]
It didn't mean anything...it was a game.
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... And at the end, what happened?
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[Oof.]
If I should destroy the system that supported me, or if I should just...just pretend. But I never got to make that choice. I ended up here, instead.
why is being canon familiar a curse.........i hate this............
Connor is quiet for a moment. This whole conversation is extremely jarring, and he's. Not sure what to do with it, tbh. But, hey. He can ignore feeheeheelings if he concentrates on facts.]
"Here." [...] You ended up in the Temple?
IT REALLY IS THO
Oh, no, I just mean...as a god, outside of my own world. As "Justice" instead of as what I was before. But I can't really tell that I'm any different.
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[Justice is quiet for a moment after that.]
Aside from that...no, I don't know. It was just like...I was in a dream, but that old place that I came from was the dream, even though I know that it hadn't been. It's...hard to describe, and it might be different for each of us.
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[Is that related? It's a mystery.]
If I may ask... Do you know how it was for the others? Or is that something I should ask them myself?
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Only a couple of them have told me, so you'd be better off asking them directly. It might be different for everyone.