[When Mizuki arrives in the west wing, they'll find that Love is waiting for them at the shrine seated on a bench just past the first archway with the fox curled at her feet. The fox doesn't seem to mind too much, but the truffle's nowhere in sight.]
Raspberry was a nice touch, Mizuki-san. Thanks. [Please sit down.]
I think they go together perfectly, so it's totally acceptable. [She's pleased, thanks. Though that's a very interesting question and Love perks up, giving them her full undivided attention.]
It'd be a little silly to be a god of love and not know it myself, wouldn't it? I think I know a lot. Are you having relationship troubles, Mizuki-san?
[ they don't like asking for help!! but they... would like to air some thoughts... to a neutral party. perhaps. ]
Well, I have some things on my mind. And we're supposed to confide something personal in the gods this week, more or less, right? So I thought I may as well take advantage of my resources and tick that box at the same time.
[ he's a moron, he gets into lots of fights, he's got a sordid past and probably a sordid future, too, but he cares a lot about them, and he makes them smile. they -- do like him. A lot. More than they should - that's the biggest problem. ]
There are things I need to do. The goal I'm working towards - it's more important to me than anything. I'm ready to throw away everything for it. Everyone here's lives, his life... And my own life, if I get back home. I've been preparing for that. [ they tug on a lock of hair. ] And that's not mentioning that we're 160 years apart in time, too... Even leaving aside everything else, there's nothing I can do about that. No matter how I look at it, this story won't have a happy ending.
I see...knowing all of that must make it really hard to openly return his affections. [Nodnod. That's rough, buddy. Nevertheless she seems to ponder to herself.]
But you care for him. Does he know about your goals and what you're willing to do for them? Have you talked to him about that?
[ they shake their head, leaning back against the bench a little with a sigh. The mask kind of helps, in this instance; it feels less like they're talking to another person. ]
I haven't. If I start taking the lead with these things, I'm worried I'll get more attached than I already am.
[ it's the same as admitting it, kind of - letting him into their life. They already started doing it by accident the other day. ]
It's not that I don't think he can handle it. I mean, he's a yakuza. But for me... I shouldn't have anything I'm not ready to give up.
Yeah, I got that impression. [When he cut off a friggin' pinky. But there's another moment's pause.]
...you guys are here for such a short amount of time that sometimes I don't think it's really so bad to get attached. When you're far away from what you know, it can be pretty lonely without those special connections. And besides, you never know when you'll get a chance like this ever again.
I think...being honest with yourself about how much you like him might help. And then talking to him, too, and making very clear boundaries. The game's going to be over in a few weeks, and you'll be going back to where you came from if you want to. But that doesn't mean you should ignore things that are right in front of you either. Not if they make you happy.
I'm sorry if that isn't what you really wanted to hear, but it's what I think. Even if you never see each other again, those memories are really important.
[ it's nothing they don't already know; they're a grown adult, and they've had plenty of lovers in the past, too. Still, it feels a little freeing to actually talk about it. ]
... I know they're important. That's what scares me. There are a lot of lives depending on me. Maybe hundreds. If my resolve wavers because of my own selfish feelings, then I may as well be killing them myself.
[ as usual, Mizuki holds their own feelings and desires in very low regard; compared to the greater good, what does it matter? ]
Are they really so selfish? [She doesn't expect an answer, but it's a good question. Wonder what Mizuki would think if they realized Love is actually a 16 year old high school girl.] ...where I'm from, feelings that're held in and hidden from others caused a lot of damage and hurt people. It almost destroyed our world. I think you can learn to use your feelings as an extra boost in strength.
Besides, you've never seemed like the type to change your mind when it's already made up. Why would this really be any different?
[ they'd probably feel pretty darn silly. Frankly, they have a suspicion that she's younger, based purely on her voice and stature, but as long as she has the mask and robes on, they can pretend they didn't notice. Mizuki cocks an eyebrow at that comment, a smile returning to their face. ]
Well, I don't think some unfulfilled romance is going to be destroying my world anytime soon, [ they reply with dry humor before continuing. ] It might be hard to believe, but I was weak like that in the past.
[ a pause. ]
Still, you have a point. My mind's made up... and what I've decided to do back home doesn't need to impact what I do here. [ a small laugh. ] ... And, as they say, endings are always the saddest part.
Why not? It almost destroyed ours. [Idly. But that's not about that.] But you're right. That is hard to believe...I've seen how you behave on trial days, Mizuki-san. You're very factual.
...I think with as little time as you have here, the risk is worth taking. Otherwise you might spend forever thinking about "what might have been" and that's even worse. Trust me. If anything it'll strengthen your resolve instead of weaken it. Something else to fight for. Make sense?
The truth is... The fact that I'm even considering it this much means that it's too late for me, I think. If Majima-kun was a person that I could throw away, I wouldn't have come to talk to you at all. I'd just do it.
[ a small laugh, self-deprecating. ]
I told myself I wouldn't get attached to anyone. I never would have imagined I'd fail before the mission even started.
Sometimes it just happens...and I think that's how you know it's real, you know? The relationships you don't go in looking for are the ones that're the strongest in the end. I never thought I'd find someone the way I did. [A shrug.]
I think sometimes we already know the answer, and we just need to say it out loud to someone else to really get it. But it doesn't sound like it bothers you too much to be attached anyway.
[ they're good at hiding things, then. Or perhaps she's right, and it's not the attachment that bothers them as much as the inevitable separation lying in wait at the end of it. ]
I know. I've loved people in the past, you know. [ a bit of amusement comes into their expression. ] I didn't know that Love-kun had a lover of her own, though. How exciting! Who is it? Sincerity-san?
That's exactly how it sounds from an outsider's point of view. [Be honest withy yourself, Mizuki. The question is a little jarring though and there's a startled laugh.]
No way! Sincerity's a little too old for me anyway. […] It's someone special. I'll have to say goodbye to him when this is over, too. So…even more reason to believe me when I say it's worth it, huh?
[ they continue doing this in the hopes that one day one of the gods they talk to will pull an ambition and blurt something out before they realize it... sorry, love. ]
Wow. Forbidden love between a god and a mortal, huh? That sounds exciting.
It's not that forbidden. [But she's laughing. It's. Bad. Actually.] ...we were both mortals once. And we both know our time is short, but our time was going to be short together whether we dated now or back then. So it's okay.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
WEEK 5, MONDAY
Raspberry was a nice touch, Mizuki-san. Thanks. [Please sit down.]
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[ the fox is... a little strange, still, but they sit down beside her regardless of its presence, offering a harmless smile. ]
So, Love-kun, you must know a lot about love, right?
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It'd be a little silly to be a god of love and not know it myself, wouldn't it? I think I know a lot. Are you having relationship troubles, Mizuki-san?
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Well, I have some things on my mind. And we're supposed to confide something personal in the gods this week, more or less, right? So I thought I may as well take advantage of my resources and tick that box at the same time.
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Fire away. What're you thinking?
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[ to no one's surprise, probably. ]
I think... he's falling in love with me. Most likely. No, almost definitely.
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I see....is there something wrong with that? Or do you not feel the same about him?
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[ he's a moron, he gets into lots of fights, he's got a sordid past and probably a sordid future, too, but he cares a lot about them, and he makes them smile. they -- do like him. A lot. More than they should - that's the biggest problem. ]
There are things I need to do. The goal I'm working towards - it's more important to me than anything. I'm ready to throw away everything for it. Everyone here's lives, his life... And my own life, if I get back home. I've been preparing for that. [ they tug on a lock of hair. ] And that's not mentioning that we're 160 years apart in time, too... Even leaving aside everything else, there's nothing I can do about that. No matter how I look at it, this story won't have a happy ending.
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But you care for him. Does he know about your goals and what you're willing to do for them? Have you talked to him about that?
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I haven't. If I start taking the lead with these things, I'm worried I'll get more attached than I already am.
[ it's the same as admitting it, kind of - letting him into their life. They already started doing it by accident the other day. ]
It's not that I don't think he can handle it. I mean, he's a yakuza. But for me... I shouldn't have anything I'm not ready to give up.
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...you guys are here for such a short amount of time that sometimes I don't think it's really so bad to get attached. When you're far away from what you know, it can be pretty lonely without those special connections. And besides, you never know when you'll get a chance like this ever again.
I think...being honest with yourself about how much you like him might help. And then talking to him, too, and making very clear boundaries. The game's going to be over in a few weeks, and you'll be going back to where you came from if you want to. But that doesn't mean you should ignore things that are right in front of you either. Not if they make you happy.
I'm sorry if that isn't what you really wanted to hear, but it's what I think. Even if you never see each other again, those memories are really important.
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... I know they're important. That's what scares me. There are a lot of lives depending on me. Maybe hundreds. If my resolve wavers because of my own selfish feelings, then I may as well be killing them myself.
[ as usual, Mizuki holds their own feelings and desires in very low regard; compared to the greater good, what does it matter? ]
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Besides, you've never seemed like the type to change your mind when it's already made up. Why would this really be any different?
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Well, I don't think some unfulfilled romance is going to be destroying my world anytime soon, [ they reply with dry humor before continuing. ] It might be hard to believe, but I was weak like that in the past.
[ a pause. ]
Still, you have a point. My mind's made up... and what I've decided to do back home doesn't need to impact what I do here. [ a small laugh. ] ... And, as they say, endings are always the saddest part.
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...I think with as little time as you have here, the risk is worth taking. Otherwise you might spend forever thinking about "what might have been" and that's even worse. Trust me. If anything it'll strengthen your resolve instead of weaken it. Something else to fight for. Make sense?
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[ they lean back on their hands again, shaking their head. ]
Mmm, I feel better. Thanks, Love-kun! I needed to clear out my head a little bit, you know?
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It totally makes sense. Love and feelings for people can be really hard to navigate on your own, so I'm happy I could help somehow.
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The truth is... The fact that I'm even considering it this much means that it's too late for me, I think. If Majima-kun was a person that I could throw away, I wouldn't have come to talk to you at all. I'd just do it.
[ a small laugh, self-deprecating. ]
I told myself I wouldn't get attached to anyone. I never would have imagined I'd fail before the mission even started.
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I think sometimes we already know the answer, and we just need to say it out loud to someone else to really get it. But it doesn't sound like it bothers you too much to be attached anyway.
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[ they're good at hiding things, then. Or perhaps she's right, and it's not the attachment that bothers them as much as the inevitable separation lying in wait at the end of it. ]
I know. I've loved people in the past, you know. [ a bit of amusement comes into their expression. ] I didn't know that Love-kun had a lover of her own, though. How exciting! Who is it? Sincerity-san?
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No way! Sincerity's a little too old for me anyway. […] It's someone special. I'll have to say goodbye to him when this is over, too. So…even more reason to believe me when I say it's worth it, huh?
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Eh? Love-kun, are you in love with one of your followers...?
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Wow. Forbidden love between a god and a mortal, huh? That sounds exciting.
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