GODLY AUDIENCES: RAY

[divus]

Comments

[selfimmolates]

[rise please

ray sighs.]

If it's what I think it is, there's no reason to be mad. He played smart and I didn't. That's what it comes down to.

[divus]

You don't get to tell me what I can be mad about. [Grumbling.]

...it's just not fair. It has nothing to do with that, and that line of thinking is actually why I don't know if I can trust him myself. [...] He came looking for you, by the way. He wanted to know if I'd heard from you since the trial.

[selfimmolates]

I figured. Let me guess: he came to you whining, "Do you know why Ray-kun's mad at me?"

[divus]

Something like that. He's worried about you, but I'm also pretty sure he doesn't get it, yeah.

...so why haven't you told him?

[selfimmolates]

I'm not mad at him, for starters.

[divus]

...are you mad at yourself then? [Look she can only make so many guesses, this is just the fastest route.]

[selfimmolates]

[i can't believe senri spent about 100 comments pondering this and is still pondering while rise guessed it in like three tags

which is to say that ray's eyes widen, just a tad—and he remains quiet.]

[divus]

[That's because Senri's a fucking fool and Rise's also generally a little more intuitive. Which is to say that without the mask it's easier to see that her expression softens just a little. Ray's prickly and also sometimes more mature than herself, but this is still hard.]

Can I ask why?

[selfimmolates]

[he remains silent for a while, before he speaks. he keeps his expression neutral.]

The whole "making allies through being open and honest" thing was never my specialty. It was Emma's. Using others and being used, playing mind games—that's what I'm better at.

[they balance each other out. compensate for each other's weaknesses.]

... She's not here, though, so I thought I'd give it a try in her stead. [only to have it backfire, and in his single greatest leap of faith in this game, no less.] That was a mistake, and I should've known it'd be. I'm not nearly as suited for it as she is.

[divus]

[She doesn't rush him or anything, simply leaning back and waiting for him to speak. It's...similar to what she might have expected given their past conversations and what she knows about Ray in general.]

...do you really think I was ever suited to be a god or an idol or a detective? [This isn't about her, but there's a point.]

[selfimmolates]

[he's pretty sure he's not going to like whatever point she has to make.]

It's not as if I know what you were like before all that.

[divus]

...my real name is Rise Kujikawa. My stage name was Risette, and I never wanted to be an idol anyway until someone else signed me up and entered me into a contest to become one. I won. I never thought I'd become a detective until someone else saved me and allowed me to join their team to help them. And I definitely never thought I'd become a god until I was chosen.

You don't really realize what you're capable of until other people get involved. I quit my career because I was tired of everyone telling me to be something I'm not…but during my hiatus, I started thinking about how I really did like the way I had grown. The people around me helped me realize that, and I found a way to be the person I wanted to be and the person I needed to be.

…I know you don't think you're suited for this. And I know it feels like it was a mistake, and maybe it was, but I never thought you'd just give up either. I chose you for a reason.

[selfimmolates]

[...]

I'm not giving up; I'm just readjusting my strategy. These people aren't my family, and it's not like I'll ever be seeing them again after this competition, so why should I care about them?

[it's callous, maybe, but it's said as someone who before now has only ever known two types of people: other cattle children with the same goal, and everyone else. not coincidentally, everyone in the latter category has been his enemy. his lack of experience in that regard may be his disadvantage.

he knows that closing himself off like this will be lonely, all the more so when being apart from his family has already disrupted his stability. but love—rise—had asked him if he thought people like him deserved happiness, and truth be told, the answer doesn't matter.

regardless of which it is, he doesn't expect happiness for himself. he never has.]

[divus]

[Still not exactly a surprise, but unfortunately Love is a very stubborn girl.]

…I can't force you to care about people either, but at the same time you know you can't force people not to care about you, right? Like. You know that's bound to happen. Senri, Zoe…me? What about those people?

[selfimmolates]

Then that's something for me to use.

[which is precisely why he can't tell senri anything—why tell a pawn that he's (someone you're desperately trying to see as) a pawn?]

[divus]

[Definitely time to kill Senri Nito.]

Alright. Then can you do something for me? If you're going to use me, at least give me a heads up. You're not the only person I'm trying to protect here, and if something happens to me I have to make sure he's okay.

[selfimmolates]

[NO KILLING SENRI especially because ray still cares ): ]

... My life is in your hands, especially if you're ever voted for. It's not in my best interests to piss you off.

[divus]

[Fine =\]

Probably not, but it's not like you're in danger anyway. I don't really have an interest in getting rid of you. [And then, pointedly, she pushes half of the cookie on the plate toward him.] I just really hope I'm not up for suspicion this week.

[selfimmolates]

[he doesn't even want the cookie!!]

Careful or you might jinx yourself.

[divus]

[She is trying her best!!!]

Ugh. Let's not. [If Ray's going to be a brat, she's still reaching for her half and taking a chunk out of it.] It's still early in the week anyway...

[selfimmolates]

Imagine if you're up there every week.

[divus]

[She kicks him under the table :|]

That's not funny! There's only six of you left, I don't have three of you I want to sacrifice if I'm voted guilty.

[selfimmolates]

[he just grins because he's a shit!! even though it's technically his neck on the line as well.]

Guess we can't all just abuse the same loophole Ishikirimaru did, huh?

[divus]

I actually don't know. I didn't even think about that as a loophole, so that was very smart on his part. I bet Piety was relieved.

[A beat.] But seriously, don't joke about that.

[selfimmolates]

Trust me, I'm hoping you'll be off the list this week. But on the other hand, hoping won't stop it from happening.