...not yet. We know it's coming and that we're splitting up, but I haven't thought of what to say. I want to tell him everything though. That things turn out okay. I'm still not sure that's my place though.
And...I'm not sure if there's going to be another me there or what'll happen to me in his timeline. It's weird, isn't it?
I know. And he and I would know that even if our friends don't. It's the only downside to choosing this but I still don't regret it. I'm not going back on a choice I made even if I love him.
There might be in the end. I don't know. Back home, we'd kinda resigned ourselves to not seeing each other for a long time anyway because he was going back with his parents and I was going back to my career.
I haven't talked to him yet because I don't want to get his hopes up and hurt him.
There's a reason I didn't tell him I was here until the end of the fourth week. [i.e. right before her host week.] I never know how he's gonna react to anything in this game. It's been hard on him and I know it's a lot to expect him to think of me before he does stuff but...it just kind of sucks standing by and watching him be reckless. If I can minimize that, I will.
[She's shaking her head.] But that wasn't what you asked. Things are good otherwise.
It's way different. [She swirls her spoon in the parfait a bit.] ...he's the one who suggested we date, and I wasn't about to tell him no. I don't know if he realized what it really meant, but we haven't even been sleeping in my room or anything because I can't let him in.
I think he also doesn't really know I can see him around the temple and see who he's talking to.
Well I like you, so you tell me. [She's just messing with him...probably. She's allowed to tease when they know it's not serious, and it's easier than the next thing.]
He's not that dumb. Yu-senpai is...he understood me before anybody else. Even when he didn't know it was me, he was pretty open with me. That means a lot.
They're his power. [Literally, figuratively, she's not elaborating.] He has some really strong bonds here, too. It's a little hard not to get jealous sometimes...[Embarrassing...]
Or, you know, when he's really good friends with someone who murdered my favorite person.
[ taka's own relationship with her is weird since he. can't exactly stop talking to her or else his group will lose any chance of getting any info out of her. it's complicated. ]
Funny. ...Ray was my favorite person in this game, and losing him was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. When Senpai came after the trial, he said...that he should have pushed harder to protect Ray. And that we'll have to keep moving forward.
...he said he wanted to see if he could make a deal happen to get a bunch of wishes granted, but I don't really know what happened after that. [She has zero idea who he went to talk to or what happened, she means.] But I guess it didn't work, whatever it was.
...and last weekend he apologized for all of his mistakes and said he thinks he only added to my problems. [She frowns, thoughtful then.] He promised he he wouldn't break and said not to worry about him, and to let him worry about me instead.
...Ambition? [Uh. Hm. That. Well that might make a few things clear but she's a little unsure what to do with this information.] Oh...so I guess it really didn't go well.
[...] No, I don't think so. When we were with the rest of the Investigation Team, all of us were working together and contributing to solve what Adachi was doing. It was easier to keep a cool head and have time to put stuff together. Here...especially without Yosuke-senpai, Yu-senpai's being really reckless and jumping into stuff without even thinking. I think he thinks he's lost all of us back home because of what happened, but it's been really hard watching everything.
[Evidence milk, all of his curses and wild reactions, getting lost for several days, etc.]
It's why I wonder if being with him is actually hurting him more than he's saying.
...yeah, I know. [But she's just dunking her spoon in the parfait.] And I will. I already said even before he knew it was me that I'd protect him and keep him safe.
...ready to go? [This conversation got depressing and she would rather do something fun with a friend instead of think about everything.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And...I'm not sure if there's going to be another me there or what'll happen to me in his timeline. It's weird, isn't it?
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[ it's a strange concept to think about ]
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And there's definitely no way you can still see each other?
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I haven't talked to him yet because I don't want to get his hopes up and hurt him.
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[She's shaking her head.] But that wasn't what you asked. Things are good otherwise.
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[ since no matter what, in the end there are things the gods can't share even if they want to. ]
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I think he also doesn't really know I can see him around the temple and see who he's talking to.
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Didn't know you liked the silent and dumb type.
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He's not that dumb. Yu-senpai is...he understood me before anybody else. Even when he didn't know it was me, he was pretty open with me. That means a lot.
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[ so it's not that surprising that relationships are something he's better at navigating at, if they're something he clings to. ]
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Or, you know, when he's really good friends with someone who murdered my favorite person.
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[ taka's own relationship with her is weird since he. can't exactly stop talking to her or else his group will lose any chance of getting any info out of her. it's complicated. ]
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...he said he wanted to see if he could make a deal happen to get a bunch of wishes granted, but I don't really know what happened after that. [She has zero idea who he went to talk to or what happened, she means.] But I guess it didn't work, whatever it was.
...and last weekend he apologized for all of his mistakes and said he thinks he only added to my problems. [She frowns, thoughtful then.] He promised he he wouldn't break and said not to worry about him, and to let him worry about me instead.
[...] I want to believe him, at least.
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[ senri is still mad about it.
... ]
Do you think he's still the same? From back home and you were solving those other murders?
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[...] No, I don't think so. When we were with the rest of the Investigation Team, all of us were working together and contributing to solve what Adachi was doing. It was easier to keep a cool head and have time to put stuff together. Here...especially without Yosuke-senpai, Yu-senpai's being really reckless and jumping into stuff without even thinking. I think he thinks he's lost all of us back home because of what happened, but it's been really hard watching everything.
[Evidence milk, all of his curses and wild reactions, getting lost for several days, etc.]
It's why I wonder if being with him is actually hurting him more than he's saying.
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[ he looks at what's left of the parfait. ]
It's normal to fall apart when you feel like you can't control anything. Just hold onto his hand.
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...ready to go? [This conversation got depressing and she would rather do something fun with a friend instead of think about everything.]
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[ he moves to get up. ]
Let's show you around some wings.
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[Weren't they going to Piety's wing? Too bad now it's both.]
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