GODLY AUDIENCES: GORO MAJIMA

[divus]

Comments

[divus]

Wait, wait, but now you got me curious. Clearly I said something you haven't forgotten. So it must've been real great. I mean, top-tier complimenting, am I right?

[haw]

Well, when yer boss starts hittin' on ya, no matter what they're sayin', it tends to stick with ya.

[ kill me now please free me from this hell ]

[divus]

Hey, when I like what I like, I like what I like. Why not say when I like it? Not getting what the fuss is about, Majimbo.

[haw]

[ DOWNS ANOTHER BOTTLE, WHISKEY THIS TIME ]

[divus]

Yeah, uh...might wanna slow down there before relaxation time turns into becoming violently ill time.

[haw]

Ya greatly underestimate my tolerance for both alcohol an' bullshit.

[divus]

Just do me a favor and don't blow chunks all over my pad.

[haw]

. . .

Theoretically speakin', couldn't I just zap it from bein' puke into normal-ass water as soon as it left my gut?

[divus]

...probably, but I really don't want to think about it.

[THIS IS A SOMEWHAT CLEVER BUT VERY UNNERVING USE OF THIS POWER.]

[haw]

What? Ya ain't even gonna give me points for creativity?

[divus]

If I gave you points, what would you cash them in for?

[haw]

I dunno. A massage? Shit, hook me up with a full spa treatment. Saunas an' those palm leaf fanners an' crap.

[divus]

Why didn't you just ask? I'll add it to my area when it's my turn to host. Sounds fun.

[haw]

Wow, puttin' a lotta faith in me to survive until then.

[divus]

At this point? You might be the only leg I have left to stand on. Besides, you're good company. So better not go dying on me or I'll be pretty peeved.

[haw]

. . .

How are yer other followers, anyway? I know ya can't tell me who they are, but I'm feelin' pretty damn special right now with the way ya talk about me.

[divus]

Lessee...one of 'em checks in pretty often, a real smart cookie, has some plans on helping me win. One of 'em I haven't seen since the first weekend and the last one, we've never spoken. So, got some good initiative from 50% of the team.

[haw]

[ back to boozin... also this time he'll pour out a glass for kuzco, too?

if he doesn't drink it he's doublin down on em ]

Any lastin' impressions from anyone else that's visited ya? Given this week's whole "yada yada talk to other gods" deal.

[divus]

Well...First time I met with Senri I caught him in a lie, so that wasn't much of a positive impression. His pal Sasuke came right outta the gate with insults, also not great--refused a gift from me, prideful, don't like that.

[Spoilers most impressions that stick with him are bad ones.]

[haw]

[ NOSTRILS FLARE . . . ]

Edgelord-kun is a piece of shit, yeah, but ya back off'a Senri-kun.

[divus]

Easy there, tiger. If he wants to try again without making up stories about me, he's free to be my guest. But I haven't heard from him since, so, what're ya gonna do? You asked me for my impression, and that's the only one I have to go on.

[haw]

. . . Fair enough. But he probably won't piss ya off too much now that he knows I'm on your team. We got an understandin'.

[divus]

Yeesh, now you tell me! What kind of understanding? Details, details!

[Gods can hear all conversations--yeah but this shit doesn't pay attention.]

[haw]

We, uh.

We're a family or some shit? Real long story, the full thing'll probably bore the hell outta ya, an' I know ya value yer time.

[ IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING, ]

Hey, want me to make ya a cocktail? It'll be one-of-a-kind, a full show with a tasty as hell drink at the end, too.

[divus]

A family? Riiiiight.

[Yeah...it's not that he sounds bored so much as he sounds like he absolutely does not comprehend the idea of meeting a bunch of strangers and becoming some kind of closely-knit unit within a matter of a few weeks.]

Go for it. I like the sound of it; better than just drinking any old bottle.