[please toss it into the nearest trash can tamaki?? but senri will laugh a little bit at that, and as soon as his hand is free, he's going to place it right back into tamaki's, intertwining their fingers again.
he'll look around and think about what to get next, lighting pulling tamaki along again until the other finds something that catches his eye....]
Mm-hmm. We're taking the curious younger master out on a field trip.
[As they walk the napkin's tossed into the trash and he holds onto Senri's hand anyway.]
We used to go on trips like this to try and understand Haruhi's world a little better. [It's what he says first, still allowing himself to look around and getting distracted by flashing lights.] Markets and little inns and things. One summer she was working so we went to visit and tried to work to stay with her, too. Sometimes she lets us come to the supermarket, too.
[He's pausing to look at what looks like a chili dog but that's disgusting and also he's wearing white, no thanks. Moving on...] I didn't get to do things like this often before moving to Japan.
[It was hard the first time to explain everything to Haruhi, but she deserved the truth. Senri, too, deserves the truth after he's been truthful. It's private and something he still finds himself unsure of, but he speaks anyway.]
I didn't have many friends growing up. ...my mother was very sick, so I didn't stay outside to play often so that I could be with her instead. Some days when she was feeling well, we would play together or have a picnic outside, but many times she was too ill to be out of bed.
[ . . . . senri thinks about it sometimes. how he wants a family more than anything else in his life, how he craves the affection, the very idea that someone could love him unconditionally. but he never thinks about the difficulties of family - the struggles that might come with having someone related to you by blood suffer. and he gently squeezes tamaki's hand at that.]
.... I'm sure she loved to spend those days with you.
It's really sweet - that you made sure to make time for her.
[That's fine, he'll accept a hand-squeeze as he thinks of what else to say. Perhaps it isn't fair to tell Senri all of this, but...he trusts him enough.]
She used to try and encourage me to go outside more often, but it didn't make sense. So instead, she just wanted me to be happy. [...um.] I used to play music for her. That's part of the reason I learned as much as I did. She used to teach me, too. Things are different now though. I used to only see my father a few times a year, but now I see him much more.
[...] No. She's still somewhere in France, I think.
[Because he still doesn't entirely know, and now that he's a god he could maybe find out, but it's not a subject he gets too close to.] My father's always lived in Japan, however. If he couldn't visit often, he would send gifts.
[this is one of those moments that senri wants to run from - because he still can, he thinks. there are a couple of different snacks in front of them that he can point out, distract, detour from this conversation that's getting into something just a little too close to something fragile. something he can break.
. . . .
but he promised justice that he'd try to be a little more real, even if it means being scared of what might come.]
[He doesn't say so, but yes. Ray had found the picture of Anne Sophie in Tamaki's room and it's something he thinks about each day while remembering the promise he made to his mother.
In that promise though, he finds himself looking at Senri and a gentle smile appears then.]
I'm sorry for talking about such sad things on our date. [He looks elsewhere, eyes fixated on an ice cream vendor.] Today's supposed to be about happy things.
[and senri will just look up to tamaki's face, expression warm. he speaks from the heart, even if it's a little hard still to admit things out loud.]
I don't think it's very sad. I think that a son's love for his mother is - .... well, I like hearing about it. I like hearing about family taking care of each other, and the bonds that can't be broken. [ . . . . ] It's... not something I've ever known, but I really am happy... to know that you received so much care in your life.
I like knowing more about you.
And I don't think that kind of love can ever really be an unhappy thing.
[There are parts he can and can't agree with, actually. He thinks that kind of love is the most sacred and precious, and he thinks that family should take care of each other and be close. But he doesn't know if all family love is always happy, and try as he might Tamaki's not stupid enough to know there are roadblocks in his family.
Still, he allows himself to smile and nod amicably.]
You've been able to experience that here with Majima-san, correct? Like I've said, there's always room for family to grow, even if you don't always see one another. [There's a pause.] I may never see or speak with her again, but I do miss her.
[And that's all he says on that.] Do you suppose any sort of love can ever really be unhappy for long? [He's pulling Senri toward a stand of corndogs because what the hell are these.]
[and that's the part where senri looks surprised. because he knows what he feels each day - the wish to see a mother that he never knew, but he can only imagine that it must be worse for tamaki, whose mother was originally all he knew. still though, he asks like he doesn't expect an answer, because he also doesn't want to make tamaki feel like he has to.]
- ah....
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure that out. [and he thinks about how selfish that is, again, and how kind tamaki is for putting up with him] I hope not, but the only love I've known is the type in stories.
[and happy endings don't exist in nonfiction, you know?]
...it was a part of the negotiation. [That's all he says though because again, he feels like this isn't something to be talking about on a date even if it's just a pretend date. It's a little too real and a little too sad and he doesn't feel like being the person with sorrows that other people can see. It's best when people are happy and that means he should be happy, too.
Still, that's a fair answer.]
I believe people are capable of learning no matter the circumstances. Even in a world where you only had yourself to rely on, or a world where you shut others out, or a world where you were only expected to live within a specific role...it's possible to find. [It happened for all of them, in a way. The creation of a family that Tamaki found himself clinging to with the other hosts, the feelings Hikaru had developed for Haruhi without Tamaki's notice, the way they had all come to accept the things that had happened...it was possible.] I also think you have a head start as it is.
[Senri has many options and several people who care for him in a place like this. It's maybe rushed to feel things so intensely for people, but Tamaki can't talk given how quickly his feelings for people develop on their own. Instead, he looks back over at their options.] Can we get fries?
[ . . . . senri is quiet for a second, and he finally throws away the cotton candy stick that they shared now that it's mostly been decimated. he leans against tamaki instead, and squeezes tamaki's hand again with their fingers interlaced as it is, and he wonders if there's really words available to console or respond. he's worried, but he wonders if maybe their date isn't the time to talk about something like that.
it's not like they'll never talk again after this - senri thinks it'd be best to save it, then. if tamaki wants to have a nice time, talking about love and enjoying food - ]
Of course we can.
[senri will answer. he'll ask the vendor for a small tray of them, humming happily as he does, and he'll eventually turn back to tamaki with a smile]
.... I think I'll learn, too. I'm a quick study.
And I think you've made it easier for me to pick up too.
[He doesn't mind, allowing his fingers to wrap around Senri's and 100% grateful they're changing the subject now. He doesn't want to talk about that anymore. Not when the point is to have a nice and fun time. It's maybe worth discussing later, but...who knows?
As it stands, they obtain their fries and Tamaki reaches with his free hand to pick up a few to crunch on for a moment.]
You've been very quick to catch on otherwise, so I can't say I disagree. [An award-winning smile.] You'll do fine. It's an exciting thing to discover, isn't it? And sometimes I think, perhaps, it's easier to fall in love with someone you've known for a while because it can only strengthen the bond between you.
[hrrrrmmm..... Senri knows that Tamaki is right - and he'll be going back home to Taka, at the end of the day. this is a dream, and it's not going to last forever. but even so - ]
.... caring isn't a limited resource. No matter how much you care about Mizuki, you still care about me. And so... no matter what I feel for someone else, that doesn't mean I care about you any less, right?
[Senri will pick up a fry - but instead of eating it himself, he offers it up to Tamaki]
... but I can't say it makes me happy to hear how easily you'll give me away, when we're supposed to be on a date.
The dream is starting to unravel a little... isn't it? I think we can pretend a little bit more - if you want to.
I know, Senri. [The honorific's gone, it's been gone for some time because Tamaki drops them when he feels especially close to people. But he doesn't quite take the fry yet.] We've discussed this. You know I'll do whatever I must to make sure your wish comes true.
[They're maybe purposefully talking about two different things, but he does take the fry this time.] No one said it was easy. [To give Senri away. To keep up the fantasy when it's a little too real. Whatever, he'll just chew that fry for the time being.]
...are you sure? [It's a curious question.] Dreams can't last forever, I think, but I'd like them to last as long as possible.
..... I keep thinking - ah, why did I pick Thursday? Doesn't it feel a little bit like Cinderella? I have to go before the clock strikes 10, or else that'll be quite the anti-climactic ending for our date.
[if he just passes the fuck out - but also... he just manages a small little smile as he looks up at Tamaki. his brow furrows - it is not easy? to let senri to be with someone else. that shouldn't make him happy - and it doesn't, actually. it makes his heart twist in a way that's both pleased and painful, but he thinks he'd rather take that feeling over just the pain of being neglected.
but that's the stupid thing, he thinks. tamaki never neglects him.]
.... so until then, I don't want to talk about me and anyone else. Who I may or may not fall in love with, over time, in circumstances I can't control. Who you may or may not fall in love with, away from me.
[and he just looks up at tamaki, sheepish but earnest]
I'd just like to talk about - this. Us. For however much time that we have left. Even if it'll sting tomorrow... isn't it okay to be happy for now?
Does that mean I'm allowed to be Prince Charming for the time we have together? [There's a little laugh.] At least after this…I'll know where to find you, and you me. I suppose that makes us luckier than Cinderella and her prince.
[But…yeah. Let's not talk about his own complicated feelings. He listens to what Senri says, quiet and concerned and letting his expression settle on resigned but happy. This isn't something he knows how to really deal with without running away, but…they can try.]
…I'm happiest when other people are happy. [A truthful statement.] I like it best when people smile and enjoy themselves, so for tonight we can do just that. We still have a whole carnival to explore. I've never seen most of these rides before…they look fun, don't they? [And he bows his head just a bit.] If anyone should experience these things with me, I'd like it to be you. So let's make the most of tonight.
I don't think I could stay away from you for too long if I tried.
[senri would make a terrible cinderella because through hell or high water he would've shown up again the next day, banging on tamaki's door begging for attention? but also he watches tamaki's expressions closely and he laughs faintly.]
You would say something like that.... [and he tilts his head] ... can you bend down a little bit? I have a secret I'd like to tell you, but you're a bit too tall for me. And then we'll go to a ride right after that, promise.
[and he hopes that maybe - just maybe, they can try to lift their spirits and let the magic continue for a little bit longer]
I'm flattered. [He looks surprised though and doesn't say anything, just listening to Senri and bending down enough that they're eye level. ] What is it?
[Tamaki should possibly learn to say no to Senri sometimes
because there's a look of disbelief and fondness on his face because of just how painfully easy that was - and then he'll tilt his head just so that he can press a kiss to Tamaki's cheek, brief and sweet. and then he'll pull back, casual as anything aside from the sight red that's beginning to crawl up his neck]
You always make me happy - so please continue to be the happiest for me too.
[and then he'll pull back and pull on their hands to start heading for the rides]
[He should, but it's a dream date and in dreams there's no such thing as a wish too big. Tamaki leans down and Senri kisses his cheek and it's hard to ignore the fact that his heart beats a little faster and his face grows warm. It's sweet, really, and he's not sure what to say other than laugh to himself.]
We can do that for each other, can't we? [Following along, he lets Senri lead as he eyes the carnival. There's still a container of fries, but whatever.] Let's save the ferris wheel for last when the fireworks go off.
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he'll look around and think about what to get next, lighting pulling tamaki along again until the other finds something that catches his eye....]
Mm-hmm. We're taking the curious younger master out on a field trip.
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We used to go on trips like this to try and understand Haruhi's world a little better. [It's what he says first, still allowing himself to look around and getting distracted by flashing lights.] Markets and little inns and things. One summer she was working so we went to visit and tried to work to stay with her, too. Sometimes she lets us come to the supermarket, too.
[He's pausing to look at what looks like a chili dog but that's disgusting and also he's wearing white, no thanks. Moving on...] I didn't get to do things like this often before moving to Japan.
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... can I ask why? You lived outside of Paris, and had a lot of private tutors, but it sounds like a lot of your friends are from high school....
Were you too busy? Or....
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I didn't have many friends growing up. ...my mother was very sick, so I didn't stay outside to play often so that I could be with her instead. Some days when she was feeling well, we would play together or have a picnic outside, but many times she was too ill to be out of bed.
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.... I'm sure she loved to spend those days with you.
It's really sweet - that you made sure to make time for her.
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She used to try and encourage me to go outside more often, but it didn't make sense. So instead, she just wanted me to be happy. [...um.] I used to play music for her. That's part of the reason I learned as much as I did. She used to teach me, too. Things are different now though. I used to only see my father a few times a year, but now I see him much more.
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[ . . . . but.]
Is it because you moved to Japan?
.... did your mother come with you?
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[Because he still doesn't entirely know, and now that he's a god he could maybe find out, but it's not a subject he gets too close to.] My father's always lived in Japan, however. If he couldn't visit often, he would send gifts.
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. . . .
but he promised justice that he'd try to be a little more real, even if it means being scared of what might come.]
.... I'm relieved, that you were so well-loved.
[ . . . . ]
You must miss her.
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In that promise though, he finds himself looking at Senri and a gentle smile appears then.]
I'm sorry for talking about such sad things on our date. [He looks elsewhere, eyes fixated on an ice cream vendor.] Today's supposed to be about happy things.
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[and senri will just look up to tamaki's face, expression warm. he speaks from the heart, even if it's a little hard still to admit things out loud.]
I don't think it's very sad. I think that a son's love for his mother is - .... well, I like hearing about it. I like hearing about family taking care of each other, and the bonds that can't be broken. [ . . . . ] It's... not something I've ever known, but I really am happy... to know that you received so much care in your life.
I like knowing more about you.
And I don't think that kind of love can ever really be an unhappy thing.
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Still, he allows himself to smile and nod amicably.]
You've been able to experience that here with Majima-san, correct? Like I've said, there's always room for family to grow, even if you don't always see one another. [There's a pause.] I may never see or speak with her again, but I do miss her.
[And that's all he says on that.] Do you suppose any sort of love can ever really be unhappy for long? [He's pulling Senri toward a stand of corndogs because what the hell are these.]
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You - can't...?
[and that's the part where senri looks surprised. because he knows what he feels each day - the wish to see a mother that he never knew, but he can only imagine that it must be worse for tamaki, whose mother was originally all he knew. still though, he asks like he doesn't expect an answer, because he also doesn't want to make tamaki feel like he has to.]
- ah....
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure that out. [and he thinks about how selfish that is, again, and how kind tamaki is for putting up with him] I hope not, but the only love I've known is the type in stories.
[and happy endings don't exist in nonfiction, you know?]
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Still, that's a fair answer.]
I believe people are capable of learning no matter the circumstances. Even in a world where you only had yourself to rely on, or a world where you shut others out, or a world where you were only expected to live within a specific role...it's possible to find. [It happened for all of them, in a way. The creation of a family that Tamaki found himself clinging to with the other hosts, the feelings Hikaru had developed for Haruhi without Tamaki's notice, the way they had all come to accept the things that had happened...it was possible.] I also think you have a head start as it is.
[Senri has many options and several people who care for him in a place like this. It's maybe rushed to feel things so intensely for people, but Tamaki can't talk given how quickly his feelings for people develop on their own. Instead, he looks back over at their options.] Can we get fries?
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it's not like they'll never talk again after this - senri thinks it'd be best to save it, then. if tamaki wants to have a nice time, talking about love and enjoying food - ]
Of course we can.
[senri will answer. he'll ask the vendor for a small tray of them, humming happily as he does, and he'll eventually turn back to tamaki with a smile]
.... I think I'll learn, too. I'm a quick study.
And I think you've made it easier for me to pick up too.
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As it stands, they obtain their fries and Tamaki reaches with his free hand to pick up a few to crunch on for a moment.]
You've been very quick to catch on otherwise, so I can't say I disagree. [An award-winning smile.] You'll do fine. It's an exciting thing to discover, isn't it? And sometimes I think, perhaps, it's easier to fall in love with someone you've known for a while because it can only strengthen the bond between you.
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.... caring isn't a limited resource. No matter how much you care about Mizuki, you still care about me. And so... no matter what I feel for someone else, that doesn't mean I care about you any less, right?
[Senri will pick up a fry - but instead of eating it himself, he offers it up to Tamaki]
... but I can't say it makes me happy to hear how easily you'll give me away, when we're supposed to be on a date.
The dream is starting to unravel a little... isn't it? I think we can pretend a little bit more - if you want to.
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[They're maybe purposefully talking about two different things, but he does take the fry this time.] No one said it was easy. [To give Senri away. To keep up the fantasy when it's a little too real. Whatever, he'll just chew that fry for the time being.]
...are you sure? [It's a curious question.] Dreams can't last forever, I think, but I'd like them to last as long as possible.
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[if he just passes the fuck out - but also... he just manages a small little smile as he looks up at Tamaki. his brow furrows - it is not easy? to let senri to be with someone else. that shouldn't make him happy - and it doesn't, actually. it makes his heart twist in a way that's both pleased and painful, but he thinks he'd rather take that feeling over just the pain of being neglected.
but that's the stupid thing, he thinks. tamaki never neglects him.]
.... so until then, I don't want to talk about me and anyone else. Who I may or may not fall in love with, over time, in circumstances I can't control. Who you may or may not fall in love with, away from me.
[and he just looks up at tamaki, sheepish but earnest]
I'd just like to talk about - this. Us. For however much time that we have left. Even if it'll sting tomorrow... isn't it okay to be happy for now?
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[But…yeah. Let's not talk about his own complicated feelings. He listens to what Senri says, quiet and concerned and letting his expression settle on resigned but happy. This isn't something he knows how to really deal with without running away, but…they can try.]
…I'm happiest when other people are happy. [A truthful statement.] I like it best when people smile and enjoy themselves, so for tonight we can do just that. We still have a whole carnival to explore. I've never seen most of these rides before…they look fun, don't they? [And he bows his head just a bit.] If anyone should experience these things with me, I'd like it to be you. So let's make the most of tonight.
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[senri would make a terrible cinderella because through hell or high water he would've shown up again the next day, banging on tamaki's door begging for attention? but also he watches tamaki's expressions closely and he laughs faintly.]
You would say something like that.... [and he tilts his head] ... can you bend down a little bit? I have a secret I'd like to tell you, but you're a bit too tall for me. And then we'll go to a ride right after that, promise.
[and he hopes that maybe - just maybe, they can try to lift their spirits and let the magic continue for a little bit longer]
No icon bc I'm mobile and invested
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because there's a look of disbelief and fondness on his face because of just how painfully easy that was - and then he'll tilt his head just so that he can press a kiss to Tamaki's cheek, brief and sweet. and then he'll pull back, casual as anything aside from the sight red that's beginning to crawl up his neck]
You always make me happy - so please continue to be the happiest for me too.
[and then he'll pull back and pull on their hands to start heading for the rides]
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We can do that for each other, can't we? [Following along, he lets Senri lead as he eyes the carnival. There's still a container of fries, but whatever.] Let's save the ferris wheel for last when the fireworks go off.
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Ah, leave it to a host to read my mind for the perfect idea for maximum romance...!!
What do you want to do until then? A rollercoaster? The carousel? Maybe a fun house....
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"did they kisskiss fall in stupid on their date or not" - ty
leave me alone??
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