GODLY AUDIENCES: RAY

[divus]

Comments

[selfimmolates]

In that case, I'm not ashamed to admit I lie all the time.

[he shrugs.]

I don't carry these weapons for show. If something—or someone—threatens me, I'll deal with it in whichever manner is most effective.

[divus]

[...there's a pause.]

Okay. What's going on with you? [Zero judgment, but it's a question she's wanted to ask for a while.]

[selfimmolates]

What do you mean?

[divus]

You're not stupid, but can you maybe treat me like I'm not either just for right now? Lately when we've talked you're a little more relaxed and less business and combative.

[And something changed.]

[selfimmolates]

I've just decided to focus. That's all.

[divus]

I understand that, but...your focus can be on multiple things, can't it?

[selfimmolates]

I was brought here for only one thing, though.

[divus]

...so you want to go back to only focusing on that. [Ugh.]

You get why I don't think that's a great idea, don't you?

[selfimmolates]

Considering what you're like, I expected it.

[divus]

I can't force you to do anything. [So there's that.] I can wish that things were different, I can be mad at people, and I can try to help, but I can't force you to change your mind.

I can support you from here...but...[There's a pause.] I still want you to be honest with me. And I'll be honest with you. Think it's possible to ban lies of omission between us while I'm not wearing a mask?

[selfimmolates]

[...]

Did Senri put you up to this?

[divus]

No, I'm actually still kind of pissed at him.

[selfimmolates]

For what?

[divus]

What the hell do you think? [She's very defensive of this 12 year old and Senri broke him??? That's not cool.]

[selfimmolates]

[rise please

ray sighs.]

If it's what I think it is, there's no reason to be mad. He played smart and I didn't. That's what it comes down to.

[divus]

You don't get to tell me what I can be mad about. [Grumbling.]

...it's just not fair. It has nothing to do with that, and that line of thinking is actually why I don't know if I can trust him myself. [...] He came looking for you, by the way. He wanted to know if I'd heard from you since the trial.

[selfimmolates]

I figured. Let me guess: he came to you whining, "Do you know why Ray-kun's mad at me?"

[divus]

Something like that. He's worried about you, but I'm also pretty sure he doesn't get it, yeah.

...so why haven't you told him?

[selfimmolates]

I'm not mad at him, for starters.

[divus]

...are you mad at yourself then? [Look she can only make so many guesses, this is just the fastest route.]

[selfimmolates]

[i can't believe senri spent about 100 comments pondering this and is still pondering while rise guessed it in like three tags

which is to say that ray's eyes widen, just a tad—and he remains quiet.]

[divus]

[That's because Senri's a fucking fool and Rise's also generally a little more intuitive. Which is to say that without the mask it's easier to see that her expression softens just a little. Ray's prickly and also sometimes more mature than herself, but this is still hard.]

Can I ask why?

[selfimmolates]

[he remains silent for a while, before he speaks. he keeps his expression neutral.]

The whole "making allies through being open and honest" thing was never my specialty. It was Emma's. Using others and being used, playing mind games—that's what I'm better at.

[they balance each other out. compensate for each other's weaknesses.]

... She's not here, though, so I thought I'd give it a try in her stead. [only to have it backfire, and in his single greatest leap of faith in this game, no less.] That was a mistake, and I should've known it'd be. I'm not nearly as suited for it as she is.

[divus]

[She doesn't rush him or anything, simply leaning back and waiting for him to speak. It's...similar to what she might have expected given their past conversations and what she knows about Ray in general.]

...do you really think I was ever suited to be a god or an idol or a detective? [This isn't about her, but there's a point.]

[selfimmolates]

[he's pretty sure he's not going to like whatever point she has to make.]

It's not as if I know what you were like before all that.