GODLY AUDIENCES - TAKAOMI SHISHIMARU

[divus]

Comments

[divus]

...you're adorable when you're kind of embarrassed. [Shut up, Rise.]

Tell him when you feel like you can. I think...he would really like to hear it.

[bakaomi]

Oi.

[ stop... his face is red ]

... we'll see. I can try.

[divus]

[Cute...she's just giggling, sorry.]

Trying counts! Trying totally counts. [A pause.] If it helps, I still have a hard time saying "I love you" to Yu-senpai, too.

[bakaomi]

... how's it going with him?

[divus]

[Oh. Hm…this parfait sure is delicious.]

It's okay. It's been nice, you know? Getting to have what we didn't get to back in our own world. We spend a little time together every day and he usually stays with me at night. [She's just scooping up a piece of fruit.]

…sometimes I think I'm making things harder on him though. [Shrug.] But we're making the most of everything.

[bakaomi]

[ oh... that sounds. nice.

but. ]

Have you guys spoken about when we leave...?

[divus]

...not yet. We know it's coming and that we're splitting up, but I haven't thought of what to say. I want to tell him everything though. That things turn out okay. I'm still not sure that's my place though.

And...I'm not sure if there's going to be another me there or what'll happen to me in his timeline. It's weird, isn't it?

[bakaomi]

... if there is another you then it wouldn't be, well, you.

[ it's a strange concept to think about ]

[divus]

I know. And he and I would know that even if our friends don't. It's the only downside to choosing this but I still don't regret it. I'm not going back on a choice I made even if I love him.

[bakaomi]

[ ... ]

And there's definitely no way you can still see each other?

[divus]

There might be in the end. I don't know. Back home, we'd kinda resigned ourselves to not seeing each other for a long time anyway because he was going back with his parents and I was going back to my career.

I haven't talked to him yet because I don't want to get his hopes up and hurt him.

[bakaomi]

... nah, that makes sense. It's not the kind of thing you want to bring up if you're not really sure.

[divus]

There's a reason I didn't tell him I was here until the end of the fourth week. [i.e. right before her host week.] I never know how he's gonna react to anything in this game. It's been hard on him and I know it's a lot to expect him to think of me before he does stuff but...it just kind of sucks standing by and watching him be reckless. If I can minimize that, I will.

[She's shaking her head.] But that wasn't what you asked. Things are good otherwise.

[bakaomi]

... I just figured things have to be a lot different from your end, as a god dating a participant.

[ since no matter what, in the end there are things the gods can't share even if they want to. ]

[divus]

It's way different. [She swirls her spoon in the parfait a bit.] ...he's the one who suggested we date, and I wasn't about to tell him no. I don't know if he realized what it really meant, but we haven't even been sleeping in my room or anything because I can't let him in.

I think he also doesn't really know I can see him around the temple and see who he's talking to.

[bakaomi]

[ he snorts ]

Didn't know you liked the silent and dumb type.

[divus]

Well I like you, so you tell me. [She's just messing with him...probably. She's allowed to tease when they know it's not serious, and it's easier than the next thing.]

He's not that dumb. Yu-senpai is...he understood me before anybody else. Even when he didn't know it was me, he was pretty open with me. That means a lot.

[bakaomi]

Well... things like his bonds with other people are important to him.

[ so it's not that surprising that relationships are something he's better at navigating at, if they're something he clings to. ]

[divus]

They're his power. [Literally, figuratively, she's not elaborating.] He has some really strong bonds here, too. It's a little hard not to get jealous sometimes...[Embarrassing...]

Or, you know, when he's really good friends with someone who murdered my favorite person.

[bakaomi]

... Catra, huh.

[ taka's own relationship with her is weird since he. can't exactly stop talking to her or else his group will lose any chance of getting any info out of her. it's complicated. ]

[divus]

Uh huh. I think they're pretty close. Or were. [Which is...bad...but it's fine.]

[bakaomi]

Does he know how upset you are about Ray?

[divus]

I thought he did, but...I can't always expect him to take all of my feelings into account right now. The game's hard on everybody.

[bakaomi]

If it bothers you a lot you should let him know and hit him.

[divus]

Funny. ...Ray was my favorite person in this game, and losing him was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. When Senpai came after the trial, he said...that he should have pushed harder to protect Ray. And that we'll have to keep moving forward.

...he said he wanted to see if he could make a deal happen to get a bunch of wishes granted, but I don't really know what happened after that. [She has zero idea who he went to talk to or what happened, she means.] But I guess it didn't work, whatever it was.

...and last weekend he apologized for all of his mistakes and said he thinks he only added to my problems. [She frowns, thoughtful then.] He promised he he wouldn't break and said not to worry about him, and to let him worry about me instead.

[...] I want to believe him, at least.