...liking people is really tricky. [Another spoonful of parfait.] It's like...sometimes you can't really even tell who's flirting and who genuinely likes someone, so hurt feelings are bound to happen.
[Case in point: Rise being able to see Yu flirting with everyone and not knowing what to make of that before they got together.]
I don't even know if Senri should feel bad. With Sasuke it's hard to really know what to expect from him in the first place. [Also Taka gets to learn that Rise just doesn't bother with honorifics for these people, that's fine.]
...Senri and I are kinda alike, I think. People used to say things about me, too, when I was treating people mostly the same. [She hasn't forgotten that Chie definitely called her a dangerous girl when she thought she couldn't hear her.] It's not really anybody's fault, but if it's the same behavior for everyone...maybe he shouldn't.
[Hm...] Why would he reject you? You're a good choice. [Thanks, Rise.] I get that you guys weren't really close before you even got here but...what is it that you like about Senri anyway?
[ he takes another bite of the parfait before answering, mostly because he wants to. stall a bit. ]
... I didn't think he liked me when I confessed, so I didn't do it thinking we were going to date. I actually ran away after I told him, and he thinks it was because I was embarrassed. I just thought I ruined the friendship we made.
[ ... ]
Senri is... he tries really hard. He's so scared, and thinks so poorly of himself, but he still keeps trying. He reached out to me almost as soon as we got here to make a deal about working together. I wouldn't have done the same if he hadn't. [ because taka is an ass ] It... wasn't really until the second time I used All Nighter, and I saw those people drown. I hadn't been planning on telling him about it, but I ended up doing it anyway. And he had no idea how to react, it was so out of his league, but he just held me.
[If she were a meaner person, she might tease him about that. But as it is, she just lets him talk and even stops eating to give him her full attention.
Taka...is very special, she thinks, and Senri himself is also a special kind of person. Is that how love always works? Two special people who don't think they're special at all finding each other? The story tracks as far as she's concerned, because Taka's someone who seems to always kind of struggle a little when it comes to actually opening up and expressing himself whereas Senri is so...much.
She's not really smiling or anything, but her eyes are soft as she watches him for a moment and he finishes his explanation.]
...a lot of people think love is just this easy, cutesy thing. But it's not. Love can be one of the scariest things a person ever has to face, and I think it takes a lot of guts to even own up to it. It's even more impressive to stay with someone during their hardest moments. [A pause.] But I think everyone wants that. And it's incredibly lucky that you and Senri were able to find it together even when both of you have faced so many challenges you aren't used to.
[ the entire concept seemed so... unimportant to him. while senri is a hopeless romantic who clung to shoujo ideals, taka thought the whole concept was... cheap. things like valentine's day and white day were scams, and pda was gross, and he couldn't sit through romantic movies without getting annoyed. ]
It seemed dumb. And also one of the easiest way to get hurt, if things went badly, so I never thought I'd... but eventually I realized that looking at him made me feel the same way as when I found my favorite band.
[Considering Senri answered "cute dates!" when Rise asked what he thought love was, that also tracks. Not that she knows what he's thinking, but Taka saying he wasn't interested before doesn't surprise her very much.]
...that's really cute. [Okay, she does have to tease him a little.] It's one of those things that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Sometimes you spend your whole life thinking you don't want it or maybe that you don't deserve it, but then it just...clicks. One day it's just the realization that "yeah. That's the person who makes me the best version of myself."
That's a pretty high compliment, too, considering what music means to you. [She nods to herself.] But...the trouble is that multiple people can feel things like that for the same person. I'm not asking you to forgive Sasuke because no matter what, kissing someone else's boyfriend is a major no. But it's always a little hard to grasp what to do when you've been rejected or when you like someone who doesn't like you back. [...shrug.] I thought it was the end of the world when Yu-senpai didn't feel that way for me at first.
[But anyway...] Have you told him that? Senri, I mean.
[ honestly the only reason he has been handling the sasuke situation as well as he has is because he's already dealt with the tamaki one. and, at least, senri doesn't like sasuke back, so it's actually not as bad? slightly less stressful in terms of "will my boyfriend dump me for this other guy"
he follows along with what she has to say, nodding to some of it and blushing slightly at others. when she gets to the final question, though, it makes taka look away. ]
It's okay. It's been nice, you know? Getting to have what we didn't get to back in our own world. We spend a little time together every day and he usually stays with me at night. [She's just scooping up a piece of fruit.]
…sometimes I think I'm making things harder on him though. [Shrug.] But we're making the most of everything.
...not yet. We know it's coming and that we're splitting up, but I haven't thought of what to say. I want to tell him everything though. That things turn out okay. I'm still not sure that's my place though.
And...I'm not sure if there's going to be another me there or what'll happen to me in his timeline. It's weird, isn't it?
I know. And he and I would know that even if our friends don't. It's the only downside to choosing this but I still don't regret it. I'm not going back on a choice I made even if I love him.
There might be in the end. I don't know. Back home, we'd kinda resigned ourselves to not seeing each other for a long time anyway because he was going back with his parents and I was going back to my career.
I haven't talked to him yet because I don't want to get his hopes up and hurt him.
There's a reason I didn't tell him I was here until the end of the fourth week. [i.e. right before her host week.] I never know how he's gonna react to anything in this game. It's been hard on him and I know it's a lot to expect him to think of me before he does stuff but...it just kind of sucks standing by and watching him be reckless. If I can minimize that, I will.
[She's shaking her head.] But that wasn't what you asked. Things are good otherwise.
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[Case in point: Rise being able to see Yu flirting with everyone and not knowing what to make of that before they got together.]
I don't even know if Senri should feel bad. With Sasuke it's hard to really know what to expect from him in the first place. [Also Taka gets to learn that Rise just doesn't bother with honorifics for these people, that's fine.]
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[ he taps his spoon against the the side of the cup. ]
He didn't even realize I liked him. He was so surprised when I confessed I was positive he was going to reject me.
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[Hm...] Why would he reject you? You're a good choice. [Thanks, Rise.] I get that you guys weren't really close before you even got here but...what is it that you like about Senri anyway?
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... I didn't think he liked me when I confessed, so I didn't do it thinking we were going to date. I actually ran away after I told him, and he thinks it was because I was embarrassed. I just thought I ruined the friendship we made.
[ ... ]
Senri is... he tries really hard. He's so scared, and thinks so poorly of himself, but he still keeps trying. He reached out to me almost as soon as we got here to make a deal about working together. I wouldn't have done the same if he hadn't. [ because taka is an ass ] It... wasn't really until the second time I used All Nighter, and I saw those people drown. I hadn't been planning on telling him about it, but I ended up doing it anyway. And he had no idea how to react, it was so out of his league, but he just held me.
No one held me like that before.
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Taka...is very special, she thinks, and Senri himself is also a special kind of person. Is that how love always works? Two special people who don't think they're special at all finding each other? The story tracks as far as she's concerned, because Taka's someone who seems to always kind of struggle a little when it comes to actually opening up and expressing himself whereas Senri is so...much.
She's not really smiling or anything, but her eyes are soft as she watches him for a moment and he finishes his explanation.]
...a lot of people think love is just this easy, cutesy thing. But it's not. Love can be one of the scariest things a person ever has to face, and I think it takes a lot of guts to even own up to it. It's even more impressive to stay with someone during their hardest moments. [A pause.] But I think everyone wants that. And it's incredibly lucky that you and Senri were able to find it together even when both of you have faced so many challenges you aren't used to.
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[ the entire concept seemed so... unimportant to him. while senri is a hopeless romantic who clung to shoujo ideals, taka thought the whole concept was... cheap. things like valentine's day and white day were scams, and pda was gross, and he couldn't sit through romantic movies without getting annoyed. ]
It seemed dumb. And also one of the easiest way to get hurt, if things went badly, so I never thought I'd... but eventually I realized that looking at him made me feel the same way as when I found my favorite band.
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...that's really cute. [Okay, she does have to tease him a little.] It's one of those things that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Sometimes you spend your whole life thinking you don't want it or maybe that you don't deserve it, but then it just...clicks. One day it's just the realization that "yeah. That's the person who makes me the best version of myself."
That's a pretty high compliment, too, considering what music means to you. [She nods to herself.] But...the trouble is that multiple people can feel things like that for the same person. I'm not asking you to forgive Sasuke because no matter what, kissing someone else's boyfriend is a major no. But it's always a little hard to grasp what to do when you've been rejected or when you like someone who doesn't like you back. [...shrug.] I thought it was the end of the world when Yu-senpai didn't feel that way for me at first.
[But anyway...] Have you told him that? Senri, I mean.
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he follows along with what she has to say, nodding to some of it and blushing slightly at others. when she gets to the final question, though, it makes taka look away. ]
... that music thing? No...
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...why not? [???]
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Tell him when you feel like you can. I think...he would really like to hear it.
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[ stop... his face is red ]
... we'll see. I can try.
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Trying counts! Trying totally counts. [A pause.] If it helps, I still have a hard time saying "I love you" to Yu-senpai, too.
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It's okay. It's been nice, you know? Getting to have what we didn't get to back in our own world. We spend a little time together every day and he usually stays with me at night. [She's just scooping up a piece of fruit.]
…sometimes I think I'm making things harder on him though. [Shrug.] But we're making the most of everything.
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but. ]
Have you guys spoken about when we leave...?
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And...I'm not sure if there's going to be another me there or what'll happen to me in his timeline. It's weird, isn't it?
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[ it's a strange concept to think about ]
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And there's definitely no way you can still see each other?
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I haven't talked to him yet because I don't want to get his hopes up and hurt him.
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[She's shaking her head.] But that wasn't what you asked. Things are good otherwise.
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