GODLY AUDIENCES: GORO MAJIMA

[divus]

Comments

[haw]

Gotta make sure I keep my #1 follower title, don't I?

[ and he's back up just as quickly as he'd gone down, dusting off his knees even though he's sure the floor here is pristine. old habits and all.

anyway immediately more drank. sip sip bitch ]

Did it really take ya this long to warm up to me? Feel like I coulda been hangin' out with ya up here as soon as I signed onto your team.

[divus]

I've never been very good with the whole sharing-is-caring thing, you feel?

[Kuzco falls backward into a pile of pillows, getting comfortable with his hands behind his head. He taps a foot in the air and a band's worth of free-floating instruments picks up in an easy tune in the chamber's back corner.]

And I've never met anyone real interested in getting all buddy-buddy, before. Gotta be careful who you put your trust in when someone could easily just be using you. What do I want? To get my heart broken? I'm a gentle and sensitive soul who just wouldn't be able to take the horror of it all.

[haw]

[ . . . he really can't argue with that, but also. he's now this asshole who suddenly got himself a full nuclear family and change. he will continue to just nod while nomming on finger foods and keeping his glasses filled. #healthycoping

with his mouth still somewhat full... ]

Speakin'a broken hearts...

What the hell did ya mean the other day. 'Bout my ass.

[ hate ]

[divus]

Huh? Don't remember. I say a lotta things.

[He just...kind of...says whatever pops into his head in the moment and tends to not, uh, remember half of them.]

[haw]

Ah.

Add that to yer list of things to forget about immediately, then.

[divus]

Wait, wait, but now you got me curious. Clearly I said something you haven't forgotten. So it must've been real great. I mean, top-tier complimenting, am I right?

[haw]

Well, when yer boss starts hittin' on ya, no matter what they're sayin', it tends to stick with ya.

[ kill me now please free me from this hell ]

[divus]

Hey, when I like what I like, I like what I like. Why not say when I like it? Not getting what the fuss is about, Majimbo.

[haw]

[ DOWNS ANOTHER BOTTLE, WHISKEY THIS TIME ]

[divus]

Yeah, uh...might wanna slow down there before relaxation time turns into becoming violently ill time.

[haw]

Ya greatly underestimate my tolerance for both alcohol an' bullshit.

[divus]

Just do me a favor and don't blow chunks all over my pad.

[haw]

. . .

Theoretically speakin', couldn't I just zap it from bein' puke into normal-ass water as soon as it left my gut?

[divus]

...probably, but I really don't want to think about it.

[THIS IS A SOMEWHAT CLEVER BUT VERY UNNERVING USE OF THIS POWER.]

[haw]

What? Ya ain't even gonna give me points for creativity?

[divus]

If I gave you points, what would you cash them in for?

[haw]

I dunno. A massage? Shit, hook me up with a full spa treatment. Saunas an' those palm leaf fanners an' crap.

[divus]

Why didn't you just ask? I'll add it to my area when it's my turn to host. Sounds fun.

[haw]

Wow, puttin' a lotta faith in me to survive until then.

[divus]

At this point? You might be the only leg I have left to stand on. Besides, you're good company. So better not go dying on me or I'll be pretty peeved.

[haw]

. . .

How are yer other followers, anyway? I know ya can't tell me who they are, but I'm feelin' pretty damn special right now with the way ya talk about me.

[divus]

Lessee...one of 'em checks in pretty often, a real smart cookie, has some plans on helping me win. One of 'em I haven't seen since the first weekend and the last one, we've never spoken. So, got some good initiative from 50% of the team.

[haw]

[ back to boozin... also this time he'll pour out a glass for kuzco, too?

if he doesn't drink it he's doublin down on em ]

Any lastin' impressions from anyone else that's visited ya? Given this week's whole "yada yada talk to other gods" deal.

[divus]

Well...First time I met with Senri I caught him in a lie, so that wasn't much of a positive impression. His pal Sasuke came right outta the gate with insults, also not great--refused a gift from me, prideful, don't like that.

[Spoilers most impressions that stick with him are bad ones.]

[haw]

[ NOSTRILS FLARE . . . ]

Edgelord-kun is a piece of shit, yeah, but ya back off'a Senri-kun.